Also you have never, ever needed a license to buy a car. Ever. Has any one of these dicks ever bought or sold a car? Especially on the private market?

A dealership will get a copy of your license for the test drive and typically for the one day of insurance they offer while your own insurance catches up. But if you walked into a dealership and said "I don't have a license, sell me a car", they'll still sell it to you, they'll just expect that a flatbed will pick it up for you.