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posted ago by BasedCostanza91 ago by BasedCostanza91 +1355 / -1

To save some time, I'm calling my friend "Pete" and his former co-worker "Dumbass." Pete rarely talks about politics except in private but he was forced to reveal his political standing when Dumbass gave him no other choice.

The incident occurred a week ago. The catastrophe on the border was brought up during work (likely by Dumbass) and Pete could no longer stand Dumbass spreading his stupidity in the office. Dumbass called people who wanted more border control "racists" (how original) and Pete took exception to that. Pete thought it ironic that Dumbass demands that everyone gets tested and vaccinated in order to return to work, go out, travel, etc. but doesn't mind that people crossing the border are not subject to the same rules.

Dumbass asked Pete if he, "Gets joy out of seeing little kids in cages?" Pete told Dumbass that, "I guess the Dems are racists after all since they didn't get rid of the cages that Trump had." Dumbass got pissy and called Pete a "Trumptard" and a "Nazi" because Pete "hates those little kids because they aren't white."

Dumbass didn't know that Pete is a second-generation immigrant. His parents are Polish and several members of his family were killed for resisting the Nazi occupation of Poland during WW2. Pete tore Dumbass a new asshole by revealing this information to him.

Pete told Dumbass that he has had enough of Dumbass's shit and that he was making a complaint to HR for Dumbass creating a hostile work environment. Dumbass realized just how badly he fucked up and profusely apologized. Pete wasn't having it.

Unfortunately for Dumbass, he was on thin ice to start with. He had a bad habit of showing up nearly an hour late to work and spending too much time on his phone during the day. He was also accused of stealing money from a co-worker's purse when she left to use the restroom several weeks prior.

The female co-worker, probably emboldened by Pete's outburst, told HR that Dumbass also stole two $50 Nintendo Switch gift cards that were meant for her twin nephews (insert Soyjack Nintendo Switch Meme). When HR once again asked Dumbass if he stole anything from her purse, Dumbass lived up to his name and said that he didn't "steal any gift cards." HR told Dumbass that they didn't mention anything about gift cards getting stolen.

To no one's surprise, Dumbass was out of a job by the end of the day. I guess I was wrong about Pete getting Dumbass fired. Seems like Dumbass did a bang-up job of that all by himself.

Comments (75)
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108
DairyBoy 108 points ago +108 / -0

I love a happy ending!

33
Themustardtiger 33 points ago +33 / -0

Happy ending...lol

8
LordNewport 8 points ago +8 / -0

Not in Atlanta :(

10
PikachuJohnson 10 points ago +10 / -0

Just wait. Four years from now Dumbass will be in Congress and the Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee.

50
Kamaltoe 50 points ago +50 / -0

Great story. Dont want to be negative here but I hope tax dollars dont have to support dumbass now.

42
AlabamaSlamma 42 points ago +42 / -0

Happy ending, but it sucks you have to have some secret oppression Olympics family history to get out of being attacked at work.

9
Here_we_go 9 points ago +9 / -0

Maybe he didnt. Maybe he made it up. Maybe he is my hero anyway. :)

3
TD_Covfefe_Crusader 3 points ago +3 / -0

Without the thieving, tardiness, and other issues I doubt that the guy would have been disciplined at all. Being a second generation Polish immigrant or having relatives that died fighting Nazis doesn't qualify for any oppression points. In fact, if I was Pete I would be looking for my next gig because he is now on HRs radar.

2
glow-operator-2-0 2 points ago +2 / -0

Fuck HR.

Human Resources used to be slavery / indentured servitude. Now it just has a fancy name on the door.

1
TD_Covfefe_Crusader 1 point ago +1 / -0

I retired from a corporate IT career, and my advice to everyone is to avoid interacting with HR whenever possible, especially related to any workplace disputes or other grievances.

26
justwow 26 points ago +26 / -0

Hostile work environment -yes.

23
Donkeyballs 23 points ago +23 / -0

Bye bye Dumbass

21
PermaHandshake 21 points ago +21 / -0

Sounds like everyone is happy to have dumbass gone. Not surprising it's always leftists who are the worst to work with.

3
PikachuJohnson 3 points ago +3 / -0

Can confirm: Every asshole I've ever met is a liberal.

19
PieceOfParchment7 19 points ago +19 / -0

Nice story.

17
WhatWouldMountainDew 17 points ago +17 / -0

It's nice to hear stories of our side being on the offensive for once.

11
TiltedOutOfBall3 11 points ago +11 / -0

Our side is too passive. We may need to be more crafty than the left when we are attacked, but as this story proves, it is still possible to win.

16
RohdKill_2020 16 points ago +16 / -0

This made my Friday! Cant wait for Beer:30!

9
Dckman 9 points ago +9 / -0

Only a few hours to go!

12
Dialectic 12 points ago +12 / -0

Pete’s a winner. Be like Pete

12
HiddenDekuScrub 12 points ago +12 / -0

Not nearly as good, but I remember once at work someone tried to claim I was being insensitive to "battered women" because I made a comment about some dumb setting in our billing system. (Long story.)

I told her that when I first started the job, I saw the signs of someone in a bad situation and dragged her out of it, helped her leave the boyfriend, let her crash at my apartment for the night, took her to see a former cop for advice, etc. I then asked my accuser what she had done for battered women?

I remember her face going slack in horror.

7
PikachuJohnson 7 points ago +7 / -0

Completely different topic, but this reminds me of a class discussion we had in 11th grade English class. We were having a class discussion about racism, and a black girl said the there were things black people couldn't do in the US that white people could.

I interrupted her and asked, "Name one thing that I [a white man] can do in this country that you can't."

She gave a lazy "Oh, lots of things!"

I pressed and said, "Okay, then it should be easy to name one."

She just sat in dumbstruck silence, and the liberal teacher had to cut in and save her ass by completely changing the subject lol.

9
wonderfulusa 9 points ago +9 / -0

Great Story - 'Karma vs. Dumbass: The Fall of Dumbass' And I love happy endings !

8
TheTuckerDiaries 8 points ago +9 / -1

Beautiful event, good on your friend for standing up. Just goes to show the right thing to do isn’t the easiest but when it’s done the consensus tends to show itself.

5
internetsecuritycat 5 points ago +5 / -0

If I ever had the opportunity to say cool story bro without any hint of malice or sarcasm, this would be it. Glad this had such a great ending. Rock on.

5
Fenuuk 5 points ago +5 / -0

hope he re thinks his small pathetic life good story brother

1
ComebackKing 1 point ago +1 / -0

I've known plenty of Dumbasses, and I've fired way more than my share. I speak from experience when I say that 90+% of Dumbasses ending up blaming someone else, nothing is ever their fault.

I'm glad I don't have to be around Dumbasses anymore

1
Fenuuk 1 point ago +1 / -0

i dident do nuffin's are pathetic act like a man and take your licks

5
Choomguy 5 points ago +5 / -0

Love it

4
remember1776 4 points ago +4 / -0

Good read

4
Truthdose 4 points ago +4 / -0

How do these people even get a job...

3
Based_Asian 3 points ago +3 / -0

Dumbass sounds like one of the typical highly triggered Antifa terrorist morons who stole each other' merchs at their filthy Autonomous Zone

3
d_bokk 3 points ago +3 / -0

For as long as HR departments existed, emotion-driven leftists have used it to punish people they disagree with. With as mentally unstable as they tend to be, it wouldn't be hard to use their own jargon and tactics against them.

3
Titan93 3 points ago +3 / -0

Lol thank you for posting

3
Ilikecheese 3 points ago +3 / -0

Liberalism is a mental disorder.

3
Dckman 3 points ago +3 / -0

THIS BRINGS ME JOY

2
Sparhawk007 2 points ago +2 / -0

Dumbasses gonna dumbass :)

2
TwelveMoreYears 2 points ago +2 / -0

Dumbass was poor of character to begin with

2
de9ebkmd7 2 points ago +2 / -0

File criminal charges. Stealing from a co-worker's purse is a crime.

1
ScullyMully 1 point ago +1 / -0

Reparations!

2
LowKeyPede 2 points ago +2 / -0

I just assumed Dumbass would be a woman.

2
Zxc26 2 points ago +2 / -0

Need more stories like this. All thes left idiots don't realize they are bearly tolerated by everyone. There probably will be more stories coming out about Dumbass since he's gone.

2
xBigCoffinHunter 2 points ago +2 / -0

Lol I love it when you Dumbass busts themselves.

Tell “Pete” nice work.

1
TD_Covfefe_Crusader 1 point ago +1 / -0

Not surprising in the least that the morally and intellectually bankrupt leftist was also a thief.

1
Formerlurker92 1 point ago +1 / -0

Very nice

1
GodKingHarambe 1 point ago +1 / -0

More time for Reddit and Switch, Dumbass!

1
Emperorvoid 1 point ago +1 / -0

We are at war. Petty or not, GET YOUR LEFTY COWORKERS FUCKING FIRED!!!

1
TGNX 1 point ago +1 / -0

Stupid is as stupid does.

1
Trumper007 1 point ago +1 / -0

LOL #PRICELESS

1
TaxDollarsHardAtWork 1 point ago +1 / -0

They always virtue signal to cover their own shitty behavior/personality. The harder they genuflect the worse they tend to be.

1
swimmingguy 1 point ago +1 / -0

Justice!

1
_Sully_ 1 point ago +1 / -0

I've noticed that there are a whole lot of people that forget their snarky bullshit online does not fly in the real world. It's like they forget the amount of armor being anonymous and general dumbassery that is comment argumentation. No I'm not suddenly wrong because you made sweeping generalizations about what you think I think in a stupid sarcastic way. That may sound clever online but it makes you look like a retard in real life. It's got to be phenomenon where spending that much time on the internet and distilling the bulk of your human interaction to comment threads gives people a social media haze when they pop into reality.

1
Chuj 1 point ago +1 / -0

He is now free to go aid those kids! How sweet!

Of course, leftists are PURE virtue signal. NIMBY is their true action

1
Terrortot 1 point ago +1 / -0

Dumbass would have had his hand chopped off in Saudi Arabia for doing what he did. I'm not saying that Dumbass should have his hand chopped off here in America, but a public pillorying would be appropriate.

1
Davenema 1 point ago +1 / -0

He was just trying to be less white.

1
Greatlakespede 1 point ago +1 / -0

Faggots always out themselves in time. Good job Pete!

1
NecturusMaculosus 1 point ago +1 / -0

Nice bedtime story. I feel better already!

1
me-no-likely3 1 point ago +1 / -0

Daddy, tell me the story again!

1
TheBasedFriscoMan 1 point ago +1 / -0

A love story with a happy ending!

1
Bogey 1 point ago +1 / -0

Bad people get themselves into trouble.

1
jrkanig 1 point ago +1 / -0

It’s always the most virtuous people that are really the shittiest people.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
Heywood_youblowme 1 point ago +1 / -0

Like the story but good god dealing with zoomers as a boss sounds like being a fucking babysitter.

1
DJT_JR6544 1 point ago +1 / -0

I enjoyed this delightful tale.