2544
posted ago by Urusovite ago by Urusovite +2545 / -1

It snowed last night...

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .

8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - TV news crew from CBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

By noon it all melted

Moral:

There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.

Comments (72)
sorted by:
85
Urusovite [S] 85 points ago +86 / -1

Don't know original source.

46
slangin_paint 46 points ago +47 / -1

Canada i guess

16
deleted 16 points ago +16 / -0
13
AlabamaSlamma 13 points ago +13 / -0

You're thinking Brooklyn.

Canada is "Eh"

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
2
FormerGraveheart 2 points ago +2 / -0

Canada: home of the Fonz!

4
diCenturion 4 points ago +4 / -0

You mean Snow Mexico. Totally original thought not copied from another sticky on here just moments ago...

3
slangin_paint 3 points ago +3 / -0

Canuckistan

1
Imransgarage 1 point ago +1 / -0

They are an underrated source of problems, true.

16
DairyBoy 16 points ago +17 / -1

Moral of the story is: the only way to win is to not play

13
10Rights 13 points ago +13 / -0

My former employer instituted “DEI” (Diversity, Equity & Inclusion) training and performance monitoring.... Your performance & bonus are now tied to how much/well you PARTICIPATE in PROMOTING “Wokeness” at work!

THERE IS NO WHERE TO RUN!!!....We must FIGHT!!!

[Attn: alphabet soup people (CIA, FBI, etc)....I am NOT promoting violence!...I am speaking metaphorically.]

4
DairyBoy 4 points ago +4 / -0

Well that’s disturbing, wouldn’t want to work for them

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
8
bh506407 8 points ago +8 / -0

Except these same types of people are controlling our schools, getting elected into positions of power, and running Fortune 500 companies.

It’s possible to not play at all, but not an easy task.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
0
Ben45 0 points ago +1 / -1

that's a loser mentality

8
TheOne1 8 points ago +9 / -1

Wherever you heard it, thanks for sharing. It about sums up our situation.

2
probablyacoincidence 2 points ago +2 / -0

You sir.....ma'am.....person, are a genius

33
10gauge 33 points ago +34 / -1

Male and female. Tne rest are bullshi mental disorders.

13
Urusovite [S] 13 points ago +13 / -0

Agreed. Degeneracy is not something I support, especially in the case of children who they are targeting now.

7
probablyacoincidence 7 points ago +7 / -0

I just want to know why you hate children so much that you didn't make snow children

2
VoteCyborgTrump2040 2 points ago +2 / -0

Just satisfy everyone by making a snow Biden that is groping little snow girls. Then they'll be too afraid to talk about it, lest they bring attention to the fact that Biden is a child sniffer. Bonus points if you have "snow children in cages" with him.

But It's too late for that right? I'm in Canada and we don't have snow anymore, so I'm assuming you guys don't either, right?

2
AgnesDomini 2 points ago +2 / -0

KEK. Or snow pets. Is he a closet animal abuser?

29
A1waysLurk1ing 29 points ago +29 / -0

last line should have read:

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street and lit my house on fire.

Everything melted.

11
Urusovite [S] 11 points ago +11 / -0

Hahaha yeah. Probably more accurate

13
KirbyMorph 13 points ago +14 / -1

Forgot to mask up, too. For you and the snow person.

11
jealousminarchist 11 points ago +12 / -1

Brilliant punchline. It's a shame that it is nigh untranslatable because many other countries and peoples need to see it.

3
honk_honk_honk 3 points ago +3 / -0

I'm sure somebody on here can translate it into British.

11
BasedTemplar 11 points ago +12 / -1

I hate how good this is.

10
Toughsky_Shitsky 10 points ago +11 / -1

Last four words are the money shot.

Fucking hate lefties.

1
GaayPlumbers4Trump 1 point ago +2 / -1

god damn I love a good money shot

7
IncredibleMrE1 7 points ago +8 / -1

Pretty much sums our situation up.

1
anon1011101 1 point ago +1 / -0

We are subjected to an increasingly narrowing level of "acceptable" discourse until the only acceptable discourse is leftard wokeism

6
Sargentpilcher 6 points ago +6 / -0

Vegan here. Please feel free to use carrots on your snowmen whenever you please.

6
RiverFenix 6 points ago +6 / -0

I'm convinced 50% of cucumbers sold go in a vagina.

1
GaayPlumbers4Trump 1 point ago +2 / -1

don't count out the buttholes, or the eggplants

2
probablyacoincidence 2 points ago +2 / -0

I think most vegetables sold to vegans go into pus**s

5
PraiseBeToScience 5 points ago +5 / -0

Add something about the charcoal on the snowman too.

4
Duke59 4 points ago +4 / -0

Environmentalists complained that the eyes made of coal weren’t made from renewable green resources.

4
pushbackv2 4 points ago +5 / -1

You forgot the doxxing.

4
RiverFenix 4 points ago +4 / -0

As a Canadian I approve of the mocking of CBC

3
MAGAThor 3 points ago +3 / -0

The sad thing is that Snowflakes are each individual. None of those groups were snowflakes at all. They are blobs, not snowflakes. Americans interested in preserving Individual Liberty are the real snowflakes. They have us calling them snowflakes when we are the real ones. They blob together in any different special interest, skin color, or whatever else, as subset-majorities against individuals. See it? Spread it.

2
BloodyWolf 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yeah, snowflakes and white knights are actually quite cool. The terms just got mixed up with a bad crowd.

2
MAGAThor 2 points ago +2 / -0

Amen.

3
bh506407 3 points ago +3 / -0

This cancer needs excised or it will continue to spread, and we will end up in a dystopian nightmare future not too far down the road.

And we will be forced into a situation where you either kill or be killed. Nobody wants this to happen, but sanity returning to the public is looking more and more like a pipe dream every day.

Fight and resist these psychos with everything you have, now. Because if we don’t do it now, it might be too late down the road.

3
TickleTh1sElmo 3 points ago +4 / -1

GG

2
WakingKnowledge 2 points ago +2 / -0

Moral:

"There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes."

NOPE! We have all been trained to hate one another by the Cabal. They create Clown World for this very purpose. They want us to tear each other apart. What we should be doing is all joining together and destroying the Cabal. Once they are dead, the rest of their BULLSHIT CLOWN WORLD will fade away.

2
Advhawk 2 points ago +2 / -0

NOT FUNNY We are living this nightmare. So I drink

2
conservativefrank 2 points ago +2 / -0

9:30 Arrested for spreading China Wuhan virus.

2
VonTyger 2 points ago +3 / -1

And you can tell everybody, this is your song

2
Sever 2 points ago +3 / -1

Moral of the story.... Shoot snowflakes. Roger.

2
mintscape 2 points ago +2 / -0

That's great.

The only bright side is those snowflakes are not as common in the real world, it's a tiny minority yet their propaganda causes the vast majority to be silent.

1
hydra12340 1 point ago +1 / -0

This sums up the lives we live in now.

1
Tokyo20DrinkingGame 1 point ago +1 / -0

"It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes."

No, it is what we have become, because our first answer to anyone questioning it wasn't "fuck you", followed by making the snowman hold an AR-15 and a bottle of Jack Daniels, and a snow woman with bacon for hair sucking the snowman's huge carrot dick and massive balls, and off to the side there's a snow table with a snow sandwich, cut diagonally with love, that the snow woman just brought him, and in front of them both is spelled out in giant letters "it's okay to be white".

1
TDAF 1 point ago +1 / -0

Hello everyone. This is YOUR daily dose of Clown World.

1
pb032 1 point ago +1 / -0

Brilliant

1
z89101 1 point ago +1 / -0

This could be a legit tale from many cities in the USA. SAD

1
winsome 1 point ago +1 / -0

Weekend at Biden's--the world is mocking the US:https://youtu.be/YqYK_g23z6I

1
bluetrench 1 point ago +1 / -0

This is why we can't have nice things

1
Preludachris 1 point ago +1 / -0

Snowballs!
Top KEK!

1
FrBaart 1 point ago +1 / -0

boomer

1
RyanUpCreek 1 point ago +1 / -0

Should have just kept it a snow man and tell the offended to create their own snow sculpture

1
The_CPMO1 1 point ago +1 / -0

Meanwhile the Democrats get a free pass of things while we participate and stay distracted

1
GTHAYS 1 point ago +1 / -0

Sad part is it's probably all true. Good one Pede.

1
ExileOnRedditStreet 1 point ago +1 / -0

This is so fucking awesome! I about pissed myself laughing.

1
JohnR23 1 point ago +1 / -0

Humor requires taking a normal thing to the absurd, but normal is the absurd.

1
KoofasaForTrump 1 point ago +1 / -0

Well, that’s Canada for you. Coming soon to your town too.

1
navycuda 1 point ago +1 / -0

I sure hope Canadians wake up. Fierce fighters and scary as fuck if they actually decide to respond.

1
BloodyWolf 1 point ago +1 / -0

But no one does. Movements are organized by elites, and the best we have is a 90's Democrat.

1
Minn2000 1 point ago +1 / -0

Nah, this is the correct answer.

It snowed last night...

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:11 - Say I didn't feel like it, then ignored her.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
0
LarryBugman 0 points ago +1 / -1

At least you managed to not offend the lone group who lend that coalition of groups the totality of their power.