I think so, too. And honestly if you want potential care givers for your kid to get the message, I understand that as well. But there might be a more subtle route to go then directly threatening them and making them feel like they are being falsely labeled a pedo.
Because let’s be honest, a pedo is never going to come out and admit they are one, so I understand why you want any potential pedo to know that there will be ramifications if they ever try anything around your kid.
But for the sake of not driving away potential friends for your kid, bring the subject up in a hypothetical way instead of an accusatory way. Bring up something a little less inflammatory about safety in their home. Then you can bring up the point about how one can never be too careful, just look at how many kids have been abused in this day and age. Then you can drop the message by saying something along the lines that if something like that ever happened to my daughter, I’d fucking kill the pervert who did it.
That way, your daughter’s friend’s parent will get the message, and also most likely be inclined to agree with you. And if they are a closet pedo, they now know not to try anything.
I would approach the discussion calmly but firmly in a serious manner. But there most definitely would be a conversation and I make no apologies for it. I think if you just leave things unsaid or just assumed as an unspoken rule(as someone put it), that’s just dangerously negligent as a parent, especially with daughters. It’s about my daughter, not the ego or sensibilities of a grown adult. And of course a pedo won’t show his true colors until they do, but that doesn’t mean I just have to keep my mouth shut until I come across one either. And I would expect the other father or mother to do the same with me, I would take no offense bc that just shows how much they care about their child and showing how important it is to earn that trust between parents. End of the day, none of these ppl raise my daughter or care for her and are responsible for her well being. And all these shills are just reassuring me that I’m doing what’s right, not that their input is of importance to me anyhow. I’ve known a lot of kids I grew up with and met in my life that were abused or molested in some way. Some were from family members, some were from strangers. But the common thread between all of them was that there was nobody that actually valued the concern to truly vet the abusers until it was too late. Nobody would speak up out of either kindness or respect or cowardice or just plain negligence. If a parent can’t understand why I would not have a discussion about this with them, then my child doesn’t need to stay there with them. Everyone around here wants to talk about “head on a swivel”, “stay alert, stay vigilant”. Well, it’s of utmost importance in regards to my child. No apologies for what I believe or will do when it comes to the safety of my child. None.
I have a 1 year old daughter, so I can definitely relate when it comes to wanting to keep your daughter safe. I cant even fathom a world where she wasn’t around anymore or was hurt by someone like that.
I can only imagine I’d do nothing but see red until I was shot down or put behind bars.
You do what you think is best for your kid, I can’t blame you for wanting to protect them. I think most of these people berating you over it just looked at the way you worded it and made assumptions. Like you were going to come walking through the door making threats and calling other kids’ parents pedophiles.
So I just thought about how I would handle that conversation and made a suggestion. And I would probably try to get the point across without trying to accuse anyone of anything at the same time.
Hope your daughter is doing well, man. She’s obviously got a dad that loves her a bunch. Cheers.
Just hang out with the parents while the kids play.
No sleepovers until you daughter is older and able to defend herself.
This is what my parent would do as well, especially when I was at a young age. This is not unreasonable.
I think so, too. And honestly if you want potential care givers for your kid to get the message, I understand that as well. But there might be a more subtle route to go then directly threatening them and making them feel like they are being falsely labeled a pedo.
Because let’s be honest, a pedo is never going to come out and admit they are one, so I understand why you want any potential pedo to know that there will be ramifications if they ever try anything around your kid.
But for the sake of not driving away potential friends for your kid, bring the subject up in a hypothetical way instead of an accusatory way. Bring up something a little less inflammatory about safety in their home. Then you can bring up the point about how one can never be too careful, just look at how many kids have been abused in this day and age. Then you can drop the message by saying something along the lines that if something like that ever happened to my daughter, I’d fucking kill the pervert who did it.
That way, your daughter’s friend’s parent will get the message, and also most likely be inclined to agree with you. And if they are a closet pedo, they now know not to try anything.
Win win.
I would approach the discussion calmly but firmly in a serious manner. But there most definitely would be a conversation and I make no apologies for it. I think if you just leave things unsaid or just assumed as an unspoken rule(as someone put it), that’s just dangerously negligent as a parent, especially with daughters. It’s about my daughter, not the ego or sensibilities of a grown adult. And of course a pedo won’t show his true colors until they do, but that doesn’t mean I just have to keep my mouth shut until I come across one either. And I would expect the other father or mother to do the same with me, I would take no offense bc that just shows how much they care about their child and showing how important it is to earn that trust between parents. End of the day, none of these ppl raise my daughter or care for her and are responsible for her well being. And all these shills are just reassuring me that I’m doing what’s right, not that their input is of importance to me anyhow. I’ve known a lot of kids I grew up with and met in my life that were abused or molested in some way. Some were from family members, some were from strangers. But the common thread between all of them was that there was nobody that actually valued the concern to truly vet the abusers until it was too late. Nobody would speak up out of either kindness or respect or cowardice or just plain negligence. If a parent can’t understand why I would not have a discussion about this with them, then my child doesn’t need to stay there with them. Everyone around here wants to talk about “head on a swivel”, “stay alert, stay vigilant”. Well, it’s of utmost importance in regards to my child. No apologies for what I believe or will do when it comes to the safety of my child. None.
I have a 1 year old daughter, so I can definitely relate when it comes to wanting to keep your daughter safe. I cant even fathom a world where she wasn’t around anymore or was hurt by someone like that.
I can only imagine I’d do nothing but see red until I was shot down or put behind bars.
You do what you think is best for your kid, I can’t blame you for wanting to protect them. I think most of these people berating you over it just looked at the way you worded it and made assumptions. Like you were going to come walking through the door making threats and calling other kids’ parents pedophiles.
So I just thought about how I would handle that conversation and made a suggestion. And I would probably try to get the point across without trying to accuse anyone of anything at the same time.
Hope your daughter is doing well, man. She’s obviously got a dad that loves her a bunch. Cheers.