So, this is about my father (65M), a hardworking man who voted twice for Obama (then got wise) and then twice voted for Trump. I (24M) have thankfully never had to deal with a wayward spouse or partner, but my father did. About 16 years before I was born, and 15 years before he met my mother, my father married a woman, we shall call her Becky. Becky forced my Dad to get out of the military and be with her full time. He got out the first time in 1982. They were married in 1981. Problem was, Becky turned out to be infertile, and that caused her to spiral into alcoholism and then eventually cheat on my dad. She would go to a specific hotel bar and pick up men. My father was willing to adopt, or be good with the two dogs they had. However, Becky was severely unhappy because of her inability to have kids, got into fights with my father and even attacked him with objects around their house. She even threw a Glass Stein and a brick at his head. My father was a Union Oil Worker, and she was a sign painter. So, she was home often (where I think she used that time to cheat on my father) while my dad was in the oil fields. The only good thing my dad says about that marriage were his two dogs, a beagle and an Australian shepherd. He loved those dogs.

One day he came home, and she had moved out. Cleaned out the house and took all the furniture and the dogs. Leaving behind divorce papers and then immediately married another man once my Dad signed them, the new man was jealous of my father and considered him a threat. She eventually divorced that guy and then got divorced a third time.

Growing up, whenever we would go to my father’s hometown, he would never want to go into a certain hotel, because that is where Becky would hang out to pick up men. He also did not want us anywhere near her.

Fast forward, my father after the divorce rejoins the military in 1987. Goes into the reserves in 1993, and then back into the oil fields again working for Shell. He then dates around before meeting my mom in 1996, getting married and then having me in 1997 and my sister in 1999. He retired in 2005 after a combined 27 years in the military as an E-7 (I am an O-2 currently and he was my first salute). Now he is an insurance agent, and a good one with loyal clients.

Interestingly enough, Becky’s mom and my dad were real close. Even to the point that my Dad was talking to Becky’s mom, who was a dog breeder, about getting me and my little sister a puppy from her. Sadly, she died and then after that nothing came of it, but my Dad is still trying to get a dog from the people who took over her business.

Becky, however, still thinks about my Dad apparently. When my grandmother died in 2004, she went to the funeral and saw me and my little sister there. My father had no idea she was there and only found out later. My mom was not happy to find out she was there, but my Dad said what is done is done, and my mom got over it. I still wonder how Becky must feel about my dad having kids of his own now with my mom, and how she felt when she saw my sister and I. My Aunt who sees Becky from time to time says she is just a sad woman, especially in regards to my Dad. That she is alone now, her parents and siblings are gone, and her brothers never had kids either. So, she is alone now. I get depressed just thinking about it, and I do feel sorry for the woman and I often wondered what it would have been like had I had an elder half-sibling(s) from her. But, for whatever reasons of biology, it was not meant to be.

One day, after Becky’s mom died, she called my Dad. She said she was returning his call, and my father replied he had never called her. However, they talked for the better part of an hour about her mom and how my Dad is doing,how my sister and I were doing and how Becky was doing. I have never seen my mother so angry/jealous in my life. My mom hates that woman for how she left my dad, including making it difficult for him to see their dogs when they were dying. Yet, in the end, my father has been married to my mother for over 24 years, with two kids and Becky a bad after-taste from his past that he rarely thinks about now. He told me she sounded really sad as she said goodbye to him on the phone, and that (to my knowledge) was the last time my dad spoke to her, and that was a decade ago.

Anyways, that is my Father’s story. So, if I can help any of you in any way, know that my father was devastated, but ended up far better because of it. So cheer up! It gets better! He got through it and so can you, and you shall find the right one for you! Best of luck all, and for those so inclined, God Bless!