Just know that there are people that love you. I'm an alcoholic. I have been since I lost my best friend in the Marine Corps. I finally asked for help a few weeks ago, and the support has been overwhelming. I know there's a few of you fellow vets out there who are prideful like me, and think we can conquer everything ourselves, but just simply asking for help is all you need to do. I had heard horror stories about the VA, but, everyone I've talked to so far has been incredibly helpful, and I'll be checking into the hospital tomorrow before I kill myself by drowning in alcohol. The help is out there, guys, you just have to ask for it. I'm ready for the fight ahead, and you need to be too. We need all hands on deck, and if you're not well, you need to get well. All the best - Felonious
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Welcome to a VERY big club, where you're not alone. I'm 8 years sober, took me 7 years before that to figure out how to get and stay sober (in and out of program). But once I got it - let me tell ya, you REALLY do "recoil from alcohol/drugs as if they were a hot flame". It really does happen - everything they tell you in the rooms is real. I didn't buy it for years, but I faked it till I maked it and holy shit life is amazing!
My business is also 8 years old, I employ 7 people and I owe it all to sobriety.
Congears in your journey, you will find life is infinitely better without mind altering shit. I'm very sorry about your brother. I'm not a marine, but I spent every weekend with my best friends stationed at Miramar who were all marines. I've lost 4 of them to PTSD-caused-suicide from what happened to them in Afghanistan. Its incredibly difficult and sobriety was the only thing that let me deal with my losses.