Alright there's a few questions that need to be asked.
So far it sounds like you suffer from apathy, mixed with being stuck in an environment where your lack of effort isn't met with enough consequences to care enough, which kind of goes hand in hand.
If this sort of apathy also crosses over into your relationships then you're just an apathetic person, which could stem from a couple things. Possibly laziness, or carelessness, or mix of both. If you feel pressure from deadlines and from losing clients then it's probably more laziness than carelessness.
If you suspect it's laziness more so than anything else, we'd have to figure out why you are or have become this way.
It could be the monotony of your job. It could be that you don't feel you're adding much value to yourself and others through your job. Lacking purpose through your job in the same way your homework assignment felt like it didn't make much of a difference or matter either way.
If it's not that and it's laziness, buy a ninja and start drinking bananas, blueberries and kale in the mornings. After 3 weeks you'll feel way more energized to get stuff done.
Monotony for sure. 14 years same exact thing. True that my lack of effort is often not met with any consequence. My admin picks up the slack. It's not fair to her.
Apathy is a good description. It's like a internal conflict where, I am driven to want to help people, but not at whatever its' costing me to do it. But it's not like it's really costing me anything. The pain is not doing it. Its like my soul is agonizing over nothing. I lose energy to do the tasks and I just keep putting it off.
I think I know what it is. I think I just need to man up and split. As soon as the refi is done, I'm out of here.
Alright there's a few questions that need to be asked.
So far it sounds like you suffer from apathy, mixed with being stuck in an environment where your lack of effort isn't met with enough consequences to care enough, which kind of goes hand in hand.
If this sort of apathy also crosses over into your relationships then you're just an apathetic person, which could stem from a couple things. Possibly laziness, or carelessness, or mix of both. If you feel pressure from deadlines and from losing clients then it's probably more laziness than carelessness.
If you suspect it's laziness more so than anything else, we'd have to figure out why you are or have become this way.
It could be the monotony of your job. It could be that you don't feel you're adding much value to yourself and others through your job. Lacking purpose through your job in the same way your homework assignment felt like it didn't make much of a difference or matter either way.
If it's not that and it's laziness, buy a ninja and start drinking bananas, blueberries and kale in the mornings. After 3 weeks you'll feel way more energized to get stuff done.
Thanks, fren.
Monotony for sure. 14 years same exact thing. True that my lack of effort is often not met with any consequence. My admin picks up the slack. It's not fair to her.
Apathy is a good description. It's like a internal conflict where, I am driven to want to help people, but not at whatever its' costing me to do it. But it's not like it's really costing me anything. The pain is not doing it. Its like my soul is agonizing over nothing. I lose energy to do the tasks and I just keep putting it off.
I think I know what it is. I think I just need to man up and split. As soon as the refi is done, I'm out of here.
Yes dude, 100% get out of there. 14 years is about 13 years too long haha. You'll feel amazing when you leave.