cool. i can't work. i sit at my computer and cant do it. im burned out? i cant even get myself to do the most trivial shit, sometimes.
I was always like this under pressure. in high school i remember getting ready to give a presentation in front of the class. i just couldnt do it. so i sat there cursing myself looking at the words I needed to memorize, and then just didnt do it. showed up to class and then presented nothing. haha.
Today, clients are wondering where their shit is. I just don't do it. I put it off, then put it off, finally I do one thing, but other things I just dont do if they never ask me again. I can feel clients leaving me.
not sure if it's working remote has gotten to me. or I just need a job change. I cant even pinpoint why it's like this. But, even right now I have work today, instead I am on t_d.
Monotony for sure. 14 years same exact thing. True that my lack of effort is often not met with any consequence. My admin picks up the slack. It's not fair to her.
Apathy is a good description. It's like a internal conflict where, I am driven to want to help people, but not at whatever its' costing me to do it. But it's not like it's really costing me anything. The pain is not doing it. Its like my soul is agonizing over nothing. I lose energy to do the tasks and I just keep putting it off.
I think I know what it is. I think I just need to man up and split. As soon as the refi is done, I'm out of here.
cool. i can't work. i sit at my computer and cant do it. im burned out? i cant even get myself to do the most trivial shit, sometimes.
I was always like this under pressure. in high school i remember getting ready to give a presentation in front of the class. i just couldnt do it. so i sat there cursing myself looking at the words I needed to memorize, and then just didnt do it. showed up to class and then presented nothing. haha.
Today, clients are wondering where their shit is. I just don't do it. I put it off, then put it off, finally I do one thing, but other things I just dont do if they never ask me again. I can feel clients leaving me.
not sure if it's working remote has gotten to me. or I just need a job change. I cant even pinpoint why it's like this. But, even right now I have work today, instead I am on t_d.
Thanks, fren.
Monotony for sure. 14 years same exact thing. True that my lack of effort is often not met with any consequence. My admin picks up the slack. It's not fair to her.
Apathy is a good description. It's like a internal conflict where, I am driven to want to help people, but not at whatever its' costing me to do it. But it's not like it's really costing me anything. The pain is not doing it. Its like my soul is agonizing over nothing. I lose energy to do the tasks and I just keep putting it off.
I think I know what it is. I think I just need to man up and split. As soon as the refi is done, I'm out of here.