Are these the writings of Mother Teresa you are talking about? Maybe she was just expressing her love for atheists.

There is so much contradiction in my soul, such deep longing for God, so deep that it is painful, a suffering continual yet not wanted by God, repulsed, empty, no faith, no love, no zeal. ... Heaven means nothing to me, it looks like an empty place.

Today my soul is filled with love, with joy untold, with an unbroken union of love.

I have begun to love my darkness for I believe now that it is a part, a very small part, of Jesus darkness and pain on earth.

The interior pain that I feel, she said, is so great that I don't feel anything from all the publicity and peoples talking.

If my pain and suffering, my darkness and separation give you a drop of consolation, my own Jesus, do with me as you wish. ... Imprint on my soul and life the suffering of your heart. ... I want to satiate your thirst with every single drop of blood that you can find in me. ... Please do not take the trouble to return soon. I am ready to wait for you for all eternity.

They say people in hell suffer eternal pain because of the loss of God. ... In my soul I feel just this terrible pain of loss, of God not wanting me, of God not being God, of God not really existing. Jesus please forgive the blasphemy.

I wish to live in this world that is so far from God, which has turned so much from the light of Jesus, to help them to take upon myself something of their suffering.

I have been on the verge of saying No. ... I feel as if something will break in me one day. ... Pray for me that I may not refuse God in this hour I don't want to do it, but I am afraid I may do it.