I remember when… I got an ice cream, a driving lesson and a belated lesson in humility

It was about 1971 and I had a friend, A dear friend. He was tall, rather generously endowed and as gentle as a lamb. We called him Gentle Ben, after the American bear made famous in those days. He was my soul mate, my best friend and the person I felt more at home with than anybody else. Gentle Ben known as “ Big Douggie “ to his friends, was also a young policeman. He walked the beat in a cold town and was known for rescuing baby birds in the pockets of his great coat, carrying them back to the Police Station and putting them into the hot water cabinet so that they could restore their health and warmth.. Douggie was the guy who I turned to when I needed a helping hand or a day out with no risk of strings attached. To say that I loved him would be trite. I did, and still do. Even now, after 50 decades, it is Douggie that I call when things get tough and I need a gentle ear and a kind voice. He, of course, married and so did I. But my dear friend Douggie was the person who taught me about how to have fun. I was a young teenager and attending a girls school and Douggie would roll up in the police car and get out, put me in handcuffs and take me away to be dealt with.
My friends could not believe it – seeing me arrested and hauled off in a police car. I would step in to the back seat and Douggie and I would laugh and think that tomorrow would be an interesting day at school. I needed to learn how to drive. Douggie took on the task and I drove his car through forest roads and learned about things like gear boxes, clutches and how to change a tyre. I learned how to walk hand in hand and explore copses of wooded areas and listen to the silence. I learned how to have fun from simple things. We used to play silly buggers and he would encourage me to laugh. One day, after a driving lesson in the forest, we went to a small roadside cafe to buy an ice cream. We approached the front door and he said to me “ OK . Bubbie, let’s have some fun. “
( He still calls me Bubbie and I still call him Douggie all these decades later) We walked in. There was a man standing behind the counter. Douggie said “ Tell the man what you want Bubbie. “ Now, I was a young, blonde, drop dead gorgeous little minx and I looked up at Big Douggie and then to the shop owner and said “ Can I have an ice cream? “ “Of course you can.” Replied Douggie, aged about 18. “ Tell the man what you would like. “ By this time, the poor bugger behind the counter was starting to get concerned. “ How many scoops can I have? “ I asked, with a face that would have melted the heart of any one near by. Douggie responded “ You have been a very good girl today. I think you deserve 3! “ The poor man behind the counter asked what flavours I would like. I said that I would like strawberry, vanilla and chocolate. The man looked at me, looked at Douggie and then, with a hesitant voice said “ Do you want the strawberry on the top or the bottom? “ Anyway, we got my ice cream and it came to paying “ the man”. Douggie gave me some money and said that I should pay the nice gentleman. I took the money and handed it over. The cash register clinked and the change was proffered. He stood there with the coins in his hands. The man looked at us both and asked “ who should I give it to? “ “ Give it to Bubbie “ said Douggie. “ She needs it more than I do. “ Today, it dawned on me. Our childhood game has become real life. What was fun back in 1971, is now deadly serious, Who gets the change and what colour appears first on a triple decker ice cream. Douggie and I had fun. We laughed. We never sought to ridicule or demean. We were just a couple of kids having fun. But nothing has changed. People are still reluctant to speak out and the only thing that has changed is that while we pranked a guy about ice cream, these bastards are destroying a Nation.