Dude at the door said, "You got a mask?"
I said "no" and kept walking, grabbed a cart, and headed for the food my family likes. Three minutes in, I've got some local Ezekiel bread in the cart, starting to load up on water (iron bacteria in my home well), and trying to remember how many eggs I've got at home, when...
the Whole Foods Michelin Man appears behind me. He asks if I have a mask. "No, isn't there a medical exception?" I reply.
"There is. You can wear a face shield or answer our four question medical questionnaire," the 400lb blimp says.
"That seems like an invasion of my privacy," I returned. I turned back to my shopping.
"Well, those are our rules: Face mask, face shield, or questionnaire," said the obese enforcer. He stepped in my way and stared.
"Okay. I'll leave." I said. I pushed my cart to the side of the aisle and walked past it. I walked towards the front of the store but stopped just as I got there.
I could tell I was making this fat fuck nervous as hell in my TRUMP hat and no mask. I know his goal is to get me out as quickly and quietly as possible.
Now, I'm not typically a rabble-rouser. I'm a clown, but not into causing real trouble. But I realized an easy, quiet way to fuck with them, so I turned around and walked back towards the registers.
A couple dozen masked Karens and Kevins were watching me with big eyes as they waited to check out. The register monkeys watched as well.
I walked right back by the diabetic strong man and he said, "the exit is that way" as he pointed behind me. "I know," I said, and kept walking. Fatty started following me.
I meandered my way to the opposite side of the store, not slowly or quickly, but as if I had purpose. I looked at the products as if i was searching for something, but really I was just trying to get as close to as many other customers as I could.
I purposely chose the most crowded aisles and got as near to everyone as I could. I didn't do it in a threatening way to the customers as I kept pretending I was searching for some product, not making eye contact with them.
My purpose was only to waste Fatty's time and crank up his blood pressure.
As I very indirectly made my way back to the front doors and he followed, saying nothing, I made sure to squeeze as close to as many paranoid sheep as possible, invading their six foot safe spaces with my bright red TRUMP hat and exposed face holes.
As I finally walked out I told the doorman and Blimpie to enjoy fucking each other. Because he was still on the clock, Chubs simply responded that I should have a nice day.
I think I will.
What the fuck are you doing at Whole Foods in the first place?
Their bread is great. It's either that or Harris Teeter for me and HT's quality is absolute shit.
I bought a bread machine instead. $50 bucks once and loaves cost about 15 cents worth of ingredients when you buy bulk, which I do. I shop at restaurant supply stores and get 50 pound bags of white and whole wheat flour, and really big boxes of yeast for less than the grocery stores charge for those little bags.
I'll look into this. Thx for the advice
Aldi has better everything.
I get my eggs, bread, milk and coffee there. They even deliver.
I always just fill up the cart to the brim and check out and it’s only like 150$! ❤️
HT is like a finely presented pile of dog shit lol
I work for HT, the entire company is cucked as fuck. I don’t try to make them as profitable as I could on purpose. They also wrote me up for wearing an American flag mask to work...4 days before the 4th of July because they got all worried after the riots that it was offensive all of the sudden.
Oh i get it I know. Haven't worn a mask since the whole scamdemic so I haven't had anyone approach me but I have been given attitude by a few kids that could use a good choke slam.
It also helps that I'm an extremely intimidating looking person, and I constantly have the tired of everyone's shit look on my face. So I've been told.
Trying to buy food. I know, "Boycott Amazon" and all that. I try. The smaller local grocers don't carry a lot of what my family likes to eat.
Try harder. We are at war you know.
I know. I fall short at times. I'm sure we all do.
Think of it this way, all I did was cost them a little money today.
Don’t let these douches get to you that are criticizing you for going into wholefoods. You’ll find a lot of people on this site and republicans in general are too pussy to even attempt the mask nazi confrontation.
Whereas I’ve had a child denied dental care and another denied medical care for a broken foot because of mask nazis. I myself have had police called on me at a store because I debated a mask nazi at a store and did basically what you did except I wasn’t quiet about it.
Also I can’t fucking believe in any way that requiring customers to complete a medical questionnaire could possibly be legal
Didn't amazon buy Whole Foods?
Yep
yes
i started saying 'no thanks, it only kills obese people"
That would have been a good one in this situation. Dude was a 6'5" Weeble.
Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!
Nuremberg code says you can’t refuse to provide people with food.
I'm not sure the Nuremberg code applies to Whole Foods.
I’m not sure Ezekiel bread counts as “food”
It’s like a bag of bird seed in loaf form
It's relatively low glycemic, and I'm prediabetic.
Keto "bread" has been pretty disappointing so far.
I thought Ezekiel might be decent, from others' recommendations.
Still haven't tried it, honestly.
We ate that brown dyed white bread they used to call “wheat” bread when I was a kid and we all ate it. My mom would regularly try to sneak in the bread that had grains in it - or the oatmeal crap stuck to the crust and we would riot.
Fast forward a few decades and I took my kids to my dads house for a few days and his wife tried to feed my small children this Ezekiel bread - they were polite but tried to avoid eating anything bread based after their first try. My wife wouldn’t eat it either.
I’ve had Keto bread made with almond flour that I would take any time over the birdseed loaves.
That being said, I don’t know anything about glycemic indexes and if you like that kind of stuff maybe you will love it. My dad and his wife swear by it - but they also eat lots of rabbit food, and they are the kinds of consumers that would also be heavily swayed by anything with a Bible verse on the packaging
Personally, if Texas Toast were healthy, I'd go for that.
I love sugar and a lot of processed crap. Pop tarts, Cap'n Crunch, Mtn Dew...
I've eaten little else for most of my life. But, I'm sick of feeling sick all the time.
Keto isn't easy for a sugar addict, but I feel so much better I can't go back.
As far as the bread, so much Keto food is based around almonds that I was just trying to find something different. I assume that eating sprouted almonds, drinking almond milk, and eating almond cookies and everything else made with almond flour will eventually add up to too much cyanide.
I've had the whole wheat breads with seeds in the crust. They are edible, but not very Keto. I'm hoping Ezekiel bread will be a decent compromise between health and taste. I'll find out eventually.
Good luck!
The fuck does a face shield do? There's literally no effect on the air currents or anything, I am so sick of people being this retarded!!
IT BLOCKTH THA DWOPLETHTHTHTHTH
Should’ve just kept shopping and made them call the cops
Chances are you’re out before they get there anyway
They would just refuse to ring me up and then charge me with trespassing for refusing to leave.
If they don't want my money, screw them.
I spend a lot on food. Get woke, go broke.
So make them waste their time and make everyone uncomfortable
Who cares if you get trespassed. Not like you’ll be going back. At least I hope not.
Trespassing usually equals arrest.
I want to carry around a stack of legal documents that state Grocery Store/Bank/Etc accept legal responsibility for any illnesses, infections, or other mask related maladies after being appraised of the peer reviewed Stanford study proving masks don't prevent Covid transmission.
No it doesn't
If I call the cops because someone is trespassing, they better arrest the fucker.
What good are trespassing laws otherwise?
You get trespassed and then if you trespass again then it is arrestable
I think there is a lot of confusion about this.
Look closely at the next traffic ticket you get. It's a record of arrest. Being arrested and being taken into police custody following arrest are two different things.
To be arrested is just to have the cops stop you from doing something.
At that point, the arresting officer has the discretion to take you into custody.
At least that's my understanding.
My dad once told me, "Never give the government an excuse to take away your liberty." I was visiting him in prison at the time. He later died there.
I took the advice to heart.
I try not to put myself into situations in which my freedom is left up to the discretion of a government agent. I'm not always successful, but I try.
You’re right tho. According to HIPAA laws they need to know jack shit about your medical history. Where the fuck is HIPAA by the way???
Oops ur right 😕
HIPPO
Hanging out on vacation with the ACLU apparently.
Had a similar experience at Whole Foods here in TX. Walked in without a mask despite the mask nazi at the door asking if I had one. I proceeded to shop as normal, but then the mask nazi lady follows in behind me. I thought she was going to say something to me, but instead went and tattled on me to some worker in the express checkout section on the other side of the store. I finished my shopping, but did it rather quickly.
The next time I visited, a new mask nazi was at the door. They asked if I had a mask. This time I responded “no” and said I had a medical condition. I did their stupid questionnaire this time to see if they would give me any further issues. They didn’t, and I then proceeded to shop as usual.
I’m in TX, and they are still doing this at Whole Foods.
Do you recall what the questions were? I'd love to cash in on some sweet Amazon HIPAA violation lawsuit cash.
HIPAA does not address this situation in any way.
HIPAA applies to medical providers releasing your information.
What is on the questionnaire?
Yep, take a look at the second bullet on their site. It’s ridiculous:
https://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/company-info/covid-19-response/how-we-are-serving-our-customers
They’re calling it a “brief medical screening”. That’s a joke since last I checked, that are not doctors.
They ask if you’ve been exposed to COVID, been around/know someone who has, have had a fever in the morning past so many days. It’s been a while since I’ve been in, can’t remember the last one. They also do a temperature scan. It’s been around 3 months since the questionnaire, since I now do curbside. It’s almost identical to the questions the doctors’ offices ask you when you check in.
Seems pretty easy to avoid wearing a mask then.
If you don’t mind the bs, then yes it is.
My medical condition is that I'm allergic to bs.
LOL... I hear ya!
Is there any alternative in your locale to giving the richest man in the world MORE money to screw with us?
Not really. Walmart is no better.
There is a local chain called Harps from which I buy everything that I can.
Unfortunately, they don't carry a lot of the things we want to eat.
Their stock is all low-quality cheap processed bullshit in small, overpriced quantities.
Still, I buy what I can from them.
If you can find a Wegmans those are the shit. And I haven't been hassled once for not wearing a mask.
They are all bad. I basically only shop Whole Foods for select items. There are stores such as Sprouts that are comparable, but their restrictions are just as bad. As much as I hate Walmart, they are the only ones who haven’t given me trouble.
You should have silently race walked laps around the store pushing your cart until fatty stroked out. Literally make them keep up until they vomit. Then see how things shake out. 99% of these types haven't had their heart rate up for years. You're doing them a service moving quickly.
I like to say I can’t wear a mask I have AIDS. Stops em in their tracks. 👍
I usually tell that to the blood donor shills that harass you outside of Walmart. As loudly as possible
They do not want your business. Vote with your wallet.
Can they legally require you to provide medical information??
No. No they can't. If those four questions are anything medical, it's Amazon lawsuit time.
HIPPO! Is the proper response.
Thanks for doing that.. too many people come here to read what other people do. Myself? I do a similar shenanigan as you. I heat them up and in the end, make them question why they are working for a company that makes them enforce the stupidity.
Good for you!
Haha nice day confirmed
If you have not been escorted out at least once a week by now are you really even living?
This is the first time I've been escorted out. Most the time, no one gives me any shit about not wearing a mask. A dirty look, maybe, but no more.
Stop funding the enemy. Drain their pockets.
Shop at a store that has self checkouts.
If they hassle you, ignore them. Do your shopping, check yourself out, leave.
If they lay a fucking finger on you, you own the store.
They won't call the cops on you, and even if they decide to, by the time they get up the balls to do it, you're already gone.
I've heard stories of...and saw a video once...of the store manager turning the self-checkout off on people that tried to go through without a mask. People are rediculous.
I just did this today. The "supervisor" of the self checkout hustled over to me. I thought she was going to harass me but all she did was put a sticker on my 12 pack of not-Coke and say "Have a good day". It felt good.
Curious. What was on the sticker? I've lately seen Kroger-stores reward you with good job stickers if you don't put your boxes of sodas in a bag.
It's just a big orange sticker with the name of the store. They put them on large items under the shopping basket to show its been paid for.
Great idea.
Ugh. No. Stay out of Whole Foods. Way overpriced.
But where is OP going to get the vegan soy goat cheese and the organic nonGMO gender neutral crackers his 5 year old likes?! Think of the spoiled children!
You can't talk about becoming an ultra-ripped mega Chad prepared for the Big Igloo while also consuming the chemical-laden food-like substances that most Americans subsist on
I just like the grass-fed beef and free range eggs, mostly.
We also get our Zevia there. It's pop made with Stevia instead of sugar or the neurotoxic sugar substitutes used to sweeten all other diet sodas.
We don't eat any soy. I've never had goat cheese. I'm certainly not vegan.
Also, I do the Keto thing (much healthier now), so crackers are a no go.
I think the only thing you got right was "organic".
If seeking out organic food is shameful, then shame me.
I'll cry about it, a lot. Wait, no, actually I won't give a shit.
Go to Piggly Wiggly. Maybe its a Southern thing almost none of us care. The ones that do wear their face diapers and leave us alone. Thats good with me. My body my choice.
None in my area. We have Walmart, Harps, and Whole Foods.
Why anyone would shop at amazon for food is beyond me.
Right, AMZN bought WF recently. Next they'll buy out Univ of Phoenix and autotrader.com for full Idiocracy Costco compliance.
😂👌🐸🍿
Welcome to the club my friend and fellow second class citizen.
Lol nice
Have you tried the mask exemption cards?
https://maskexemption.cards/
My attitude is that we shouldn't go out of our way to make more enemies. Especially in today's climate. Subterfuge is key right now.
You are an inspiration.
you should have put a mask on and then halfway into your shopping take it off then, they dont like it when you leave your carts full, get 10 or so friends do it too at the same time in the same place for maximun trollage
There is no time limit to complete the questionnaire. You should have simply said "yes of course", take the paper, and proceed to continue shopping while you fill out the paper..... But then not fill it out in the end and just wrote some "trump won by a lot" message all over it
Best idea yet. I'll try this next time.
They don’t do pick-up? I’ve never shopped at Whole Foods but seems all locations here do online order and pickup.
At least Amazon had some sense to tell you not to shop at Amazon.
What you have to do is go into the store with a bunch of friends, grab faceshields, and fill a couple carts with perishables, maybe even hide some of them behind boxes without anyone noticing, and then leave the store.
Problem is the store often puts the perishables back on the shelves.
What the fuck do you expect from Whole Foods? That's soyboi grocery numero uno
Expect this. They don't want anyone in there anymore. It's a push to online to cut out the landowners and retail establishments at this point. Less headache, karens in your face, insurance, bathrooms, nasty problems, lawsuits........
We make food and serve people. Where's the expense in that? People.
We make food and sell it. Profit up 100% plus. Less employees, less problems, cleaning, lucky to have a job. .. . The $15 min wage is for a $25 position. That's always been the plan. The burger flippers will be gone and just a manager and an assistant manager. Both of them are flipping burgers and counting tomatoes that go on them.
I think it's great that you do that but next time leave the hat at home. We don't need MAGA associated with terrorizing the covidiots. I'm all for terrorizing them, but not in MAGA gear.
I have pocket versions of the constitution on me for when I think I'm going to a place like that, maybe I'll go to whole foods to use the bathroom tomorrow with a couple. 4 questions? Plead the 5th, kthxbyebye!. And it's extremely inappropriate to talk about my ass, I want to speak with the manager! . .
I didn't terrorize anyone. I just walked near them.
I didn't have a bomb vest on, just a TRUMP hat and an exposed face.
To them, you can be assured that they were "Terrorized" when they tell their story about the guy in the Trump hat that refused to wear a mask and got kicked out of whole fuuds. I'm all for it, but don't do it in the Trump hat is my point. You can't pick up one end of the stick.
Sneeze on them next time saying you feel wheezy especially the guard. Take the mask down and cough in your hand and then pick shit up. Tell fatty that 97.4% of the china flu deaths were fat people and they are the weaker of the species anyway so maybe we're better off without them. Ask how they tie their shoes being so fat, how their moms neck must look liek a pack of hotdogs, how after sex she smokes turkeys and you roll over twice after sex and your still on top of her. Take the gloves off.... Just don't do it in a MAGA hat.
I'll do whatever I want wearing whatever I choose*. You can go fuck yourself.
*Except shop at Whole Foods, apparently. Eh.
It's your hot body, you should do what you want.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLPM-P7mNQw
Who gives a fuck? Updoot whore
Sounds like you got a lot of free time. I would just go to another store.
I was waiting to pick up my son at music school. I had time to kill.
I'm sick of watching and reading about people being virtue signaling retards over masking. It's simple, it is your right to where a mask or not to where a mask, but it is the business owner's right to refuse someone for not wearing a mask.
Don't take your dumbfuckery out on employees doing their job, don't like the policy shop elsewhere. Stop making MAGA look bad.
These employees could get to work. Seems like they have a lot of time to care about other people's 'health'.
I don't have many choices about where to shop. Whole Foods is over an hour away. The only thing closer are three Walmarts (no better, politically, and supports China) and a couple of Harps (a local chain that just carries crap food).
Yeah bro, threatening to kill someone is really the way forward...
Keyboard gangsta over here.
Pretending like you're going to threaten some grocery store employee isn't "resistance", it's cowardice. Be upset all you want, but take it out on the right person. What are you gonna do? "Throw down" with any minimum-wage employee that asks you to wear a mask? They didn't make the policy, they're just doing their job. I live in the hood, people are just trying to feed their families and dealing with morons that can't follow directions just makes it that much harder. Fuck off with your pretend "resistance". Don't want to wear a mask? Go to another store....like the rest of the ADULTS. Or end up in the county jail with the rest of the sub-humans.
You're fucked because you're stupid, a liar or BOTH. REPORTED, SHILL.
"What are you gonna do? "Throw down" with any minimum-wage employee that asks you to wear a mask?"
That simply asks me to wear a mask? No
If they harass me, try to intimidate or refuse to serve me then yes i will rock their shit.
Yeah the nazis were just doing their job too.
Fuck off you little punk ass faggot bitch, just because youre a cowardly little pussy that will allow yourself to be bullied doesnt mean the rest of us are.
Shaking in my boots over here. Calm down woman.
Go fuck yourself commie.
1/3 upvote for you!
I'm a dad. Getting arrested for stupid bullshit is not part of the plan.
Go get yourself arrested, prick.
Getting arrested for trespassing in a Whole Foods will not help anything.
If you really thought it would, you'd be behind bars, not a keyboard.
You're 14, aren't you?
Fighting to shop at Whole Foods is not the hill to die on.
Yeah! "Honey, I'm just going out to pick up some overpriced cheese I'll be back after you pay my bail."
You’re a liar. Either that was a work of fiction or you are a rabble rouser looking for trouble.
I don't care whether you believe me. It happened.
It's not that unbelievable. It's not like I did anything heroic.
I just pestered a dipshit.
Lol, you write so well that this guy thinks it was fake. Respect.
Go fist yourself you fucking retard. If you don't like his post, roam off to another one. You're just jealous he has the fucking balls to do it, and you dont. I did the same thing at a Walmart today. Fuck these people with their feeling like they have some superiority with their minimum wage and cute little vests. @Jaunty_Haul won today and stood up for his rights as an American. Go jerk off to some animated porn and be a keyboard hero on the internet you queer.