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Comments (65)
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18
DrGreygoose 18 points ago +18 / -0

Somebody get some tongs or something! 🤣😂😭

6
Trump2024 6 points ago +6 / -0

It's a McDonald's, not a Planned Parenthood!

6
DrGreygoose 6 points ago +6 / -0

In clown world news, "Biden has signed an executive order to allow McDonald's to operate as a planned Parenthood."

4
Trump2024 4 points ago +4 / -0

You know.... it just makes sense.

2
Verrerogo 2 points ago +2 / -0

No. Let it happen naturally. I assume you are kidding. No forceps use except by professionals.

17
SwampMidget 17 points ago +17 / -0

"No forceps use except by professionals."

Brah, I worked a McD's on the fryer for 12 years. I AM a professional with those fryer tongs. Now move aside and let me at her.

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DrGreygoose 9 points ago +9 / -0

You can hear them say it in the video, "somebody grab some tongs or something" that's why I was laughing, they watched too much white supreme tv. hey grab me those greasy tongs of the burger line.

4
Verrerogo 4 points ago +4 / -0

Oh ha ha.

5
DrGreygoose 5 points ago +5 / -0

I was a paramedic I know the rules.

2
PMSocks 2 points ago +2 / -0

You know the rules and so do I

5
DrGreygoose 5 points ago +5 / -0

Did you just Rick Roll the thread? 👍💥🔥🤣

13
Verrerogo 13 points ago +13 / -0

1)No biggie. Phone for an ambulance. Make sure she doesn't fall off that table. She would have been better off on the floor.

2)Stop yelling. That only stresses her and stress can shut down labor, which is not so great. Get on the phone with a medic and get real-time instructions as it is happening.

  1. Get some towels from the back. And a large bowl.

  2. If the kid arrives before the medics, catch him in clean towels and don't let him fall off the table, and do not touch him, or her either, with your hands, if possible. Germs.

  3. Do NOT pull on the cord.

  4. If the placenta arrives after that, same deal. Catch it in a bowl and keep it for the medics to examine. Don't touch anything.

  5. Don't do anything with the cord. Leave that to the pros. They know to clamp it in two places, and cut between the clamps. Above all, do not pull on the cord.

Normal event. Can happen to anyone.

10
watchman4u [S] 10 points ago +10 / -0

They needed a level headed pede like you there no doubt.

4
Verrerogo 4 points ago +4 / -0

Thanks. Happy Father's Day.

8
Guruchild 8 points ago +8 / -0

I am TOTALLY going to grab a cord and yank it as hard as I can next time I see a woman giving birth in McDonald’s.

4
Verrerogo 4 points ago +4 / -0

Ha ha.

Some people think "that placenta, or whatever is still in there, has to come out" and pull the cord to get it out. It is an understandable mistake.

4
Guruchild 4 points ago +4 / -0

When my kids were born my wife just bore down and grunted for like 1 minute and the doctor put on some wide receiver gloves and stood back and caught the ball for a touchdown and chewed the cord off with his teeth.

3
Trump2024 3 points ago +3 / -0

Don't do it unless you want to see a parachute fly out

3
ModsHaveNoBalls 3 points ago +3 / -0

Yes but this is a McDonalds full of black folks

1
independentbystander 1 point ago +1 / -0

They probably don't know the black-market value of fresh umbilical cord, so maybe they won't steal it. (Maybe.)

3
Trump_Underground 3 points ago +3 / -0

What if the cord is wrapped around its neck upon presentation? Or if a foot comes first? Can't you just reach up like a cow and give it a good tug? Maybe get some birthing chains if it's progressing too slow?

5
Verrerogo 5 points ago +5 / -0

Ah.

That's when you really hope the medics get here soon.

If you see a cord wrapped around the neck, un-wrap it. We have antibiotics now. Maybe you even had a moment to wash your hands.

This is a taxi birth.

It is better to have a medically attended birth.

You know perfectly well that a non-medical setting birth is NOT ALLOWED to be a breech presentation.

If it has to be, with clean hands, try to ease the kid out, and hold the canal off him.

There is a reason people go to school for this.

Birth usually works. Uh. Usually.

11
scrobin 11 points ago +11 / -0

Mcdonalds delivers?

4
RobHatmaker 4 points ago +5 / -1

This thread is getting spicy!

11
becky21k1 11 points ago +11 / -0

When that kids old enough to go back, the ice cream machine will still be broken

4
Perhelion 4 points ago +4 / -0

Lmaoooooo

8
Alldayeveryday 8 points ago +8 / -0

Im sure its not her 1st

7
Justjayce 7 points ago +7 / -0

She's having a McNugget

11
ModsHaveNoBalls 11 points ago +12 / -1

McNiggit

7
Donkeyballs 7 points ago +8 / -1

How about…..remain calm. It’s a baby not a fucking nuclear bomb!

4
scrobin 4 points ago +4 / -0

Have you given birth?

2
Donkeyballs 2 points ago +2 / -0

35 plus kidney stones in 25 years. So yeah no have.

1
Donkeyballs 1 point ago +1 / -0

Yeah. I have. Kidney stones. The only kids men can have.

1
Donkeyballs 1 point ago +1 / -0

First off, I was talking about the men around her in panic. She’s fine. They need to relax.

And yeah. I’ve the male equivalent of having a baby, kidney stones. 35 plus in 25 year.

1
deleted 1 point ago +2 / -1
4
TexasPiper 4 points ago +4 / -0

Only after chipotle

2
Dum_spiro_spero 2 points ago +2 / -0

And taco bell

4
HiddenDekuScrub 4 points ago +4 / -0

I mean we laugh, but once I had a boss who, during my pregnancy, was even more annoying than my family. The guy would constantly pop out of nowhere asking if I was okay.

Turns out he did once have an employee who went into labor at work. But yeah, still. It's a kid. Women give birth. It's life. Every midwife constantly says women are built for this.

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
1
Donkeyballs 1 point ago +1 / -0

I’ve passed 35 kidney stones in 25 years. I have more kids than the little old lady who lived in a shoe.

5
Guruchild 5 points ago +5 / -0

McNope

5
MrGone 5 points ago +5 / -0

Hahaha

5
Trump2024 5 points ago +5 / -0

Ah don'no nuffin about birthin' no babies!

2
independentbystander 2 points ago +2 / -0

We do now!

I came here tonight knowing nothing about birthing babies, and now I know not to pull on the umbilical cord (in case that comes up sometime when I'm at McDonalds.)

。・:*:・゚ The Moar You Know 彡☆

1
Trump2024 1 point ago +1 / -0

Moar than I cared to know but it's stuck in the brain now.

2
2
Trump2024 2 points ago +2 / -0

Mmmm, thanks fren, I needed that!

5
1madhillbilly 5 points ago +5 / -0

Is she trying to shit?

5
Mona1950 5 points ago +5 / -0

Great baby story!

9
watchman4u [S] 9 points ago +9 / -0

Baby gonna be named Ronald

12
deleted 12 points ago +12 / -0
4
Philhelm 4 points ago +4 / -0

Ruan'old

0
RobHatmaker 0 points ago +1 / -1

😂

4
Perhelion 4 points ago +4 / -0

Lmfaoooooooooo I was like omg noooooo not where they serve the food!!!!

2
independentbystander 2 points ago +2 / -0

The Decline Of Western Civilization, Part 3: "The Diversity Years"

4
Tenspot20 4 points ago +4 / -0

I'm Lovin' It!

4
corntortilla 4 points ago +4 / -0

Can I get fries with that?

3
Honkycracker 3 points ago +3 / -0

Hope she had enough for the happy meal too.

3
johnrambo 3 points ago +3 / -0

Every dumb fuck that can't drive pulls into or out of CrapDonalds.

da da da d a da da ...

I'm thuggin it!

3
MagaHippie88 3 points ago +3 / -0

Should get her money back for that abortion cuz they done Fucked that up bad.... Na... she probably didn't no she was even prego <3 MAGA2021

2
RobHatmaker 2 points ago +2 / -0

Shoot me and get it over with.

4
Verrerogo 4 points ago +4 / -0

Nah it's all right. Life. In all its glory.

Life, uh, finds a way.

2
BumDiggie 2 points ago +2 / -0

Why is that guy dressed like a prison inmate? Must be staged.

2
independentbystander 2 points ago +2 / -0

No respect for the little yellow chain thingy (a "don't go here" boundary marker,) just lift her bulbous ass up and over it. There are also a multitude of flat surfaces, including the mostly unobstructed floor. But nooooooo, flop her onto the counter. U GO GURL YASSSSSSSS

"Polite society" was good while it lasted. The "New Normal" sucks, and the situation will only worsen from here.