Comments (89)
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IHeartMyDoggy 129 points ago +130 / -1

The writers at the Bee are brilliant. They get it right every time. They deserve an award

deleted 24 points ago +24 / -0
GoingCamaro 20 points ago +20 / -0

They'll be getting the "Harrassed by Secret Service" badge tomorrow.

IamM 10 points ago +11 / -1

It's still kinda a shame that their subscription thing on the site is basically unfiltered spam. I want to be notified of the articles, not if someone has a book and needs a tiiiny bit more help to get it onto shelves.

9Norwegian8 6 points ago +6 / -0

The Nobel Meme Award.

warlord1 2 points ago +3 / -1

They're such madlads lmao

maga_mama_757 [S] 52 points ago +52 / -0

WASHINGTON, D.C—President Joe Biden has finally stepped up delivering harsh remarks regarding those responsible for the deaths of our troops in Kabul. The President has authorized deadly force to deal with all who caused this tragedy.

“We will not rest until those responsible for this senseless, avoidable crisis in Kabul have been removed from this Earth,” said a forceful Biden. “We will unleash everything within our military’s arsenal to stop those who allowed this to happen!”

Unbeknownst to Biden at that very moment, a US military drone was activated and given the White House as its target. Before Biden could finish his speech he was pulled away urgently and briefed on what he’d just done.

“Aw c’mon man! I said kill the terrorists. Not us! What’s the deal, man?” said Biden.

“I’m sorry sir, but unfortunately you said to kill those responsible, Mr. President,” said General Milley. “The drones are quite literal, sir. There’s nothing we can do.”

At publishing time, Biden had tried to give the drones new orders to kill those who wish to harm our country, but the drone’s path remained unaltered.


friedchicken 6 points ago +6 / -0

Glad someone emphasized that the article hits even deeper than the headline

invalid_data 47 points ago +47 / -0

Is this going to get the Bee employees on the FBIs hit list??

BigIronBigIron 29 points ago +29 / -0

As if that weren't already the case

JudicialDredd 22 points ago +22 / -0

Midnight walk to get coffee ends in tragedy. A rack of weights fell and snapped everyone's neck, instantly setting them on fire and disabling every security camera in the area. Shame.

Aquamine-Amarine 15 points ago +15 / -0

And then they shot themselves in the back of the head. It was ruled a suicide.

Jimmy33 16 points ago +16 / -0

And then zipped themselves up in sports bags

Redleg37 5 points ago +5 / -0


FuckingWiseCracker 3 points ago +3 / -0

Toppestmost Kek!!

BigIronBigIron 3 points ago +3 / -0

Crushed their hyoid bone while snorting sleeping pills, friends say he was depressed

Brandon 7 points ago +7 / -0

Does it matter? It's not about democracy "majority" it's about turning brother against brother, friend against friend. Time to low dose the red pills, but push them harder than ever.

Magabirdlady2 5 points ago +5 / -0

Yes. Bee da best.

GoingCamaro 2 points ago +2 / -0

Already on the list. This scored them the SS interview

Carnasty 23 points ago +23 / -0

This is fucking phenomenal. These guys NAIL it at the Bee. Most creative site on the internet, hands down.

Trump2024 17 points ago +18 / -1

Too soon for me. I just got out of the VA hospital. The Vietnam war veteran in the bed next to me lost his nephew in Afghanistan near the beginning of this 20 year mess of a war. Trust me, you don't want to hear a 75 year old man crying because of this mother fucker imposter president surrendered to the Taliban to cheapen our troops sacrifices and loss of his nephew. Two days of consoling his sorrow and sharing his anger has scraped my soul to the bone. I couldn't leave him until his son came to be with him. It's taking a lot of strength for me to not start drinking tonight. I can't say I'd have the strength to stop.

MIpon2 5 points ago +6 / -1

Prayers for you and the veteran you shared your time with. Thank you for who you are, and what you stand for. Stay strong - you got this ❤️🤍💙🇺🇸

You’re not alone: https://rumble.com/embed/vgsi91/?pub=oxrzn

deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
Trump2024 2 points ago +2 / -0

Thank you for your prayers and kind words. That song always gets me right in the feels. Spending time with my new "battle buddy" the last couple of days helped remind me I'm not the only one. Despite our different demons, different skin shades, different battles, different ages, different challenges and different paths we've still got the same boiling red blood. I'm not the only one willing to be branded by burning brass, long after my enlistment is over, to make sure the red, white and blue flies over our free country. I'm not the only one grinding their teeth to nubs watching our leaders committing treason. I'm not the only one whose stomach is in knots worrying about our brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers, sons and daughters still behind enemy lines. I'm not the only one praying until my clenched hands knuckles are turning purple.

I'm not the only one and it's reassuring to know you're on my team. Fighting and praying, supporting the wounded and respecting our fallen. We're going to get through this or have one hell of a battle on the way down.

Mona1950 15 points ago +15 / -0

Now THAT's spicy!!!

Threeballes 11 points ago +11 / -0

Wow... balls to the wall!

Hawksendoom 4 points ago +4 / -0


JudicialDredd 11 points ago +11 / -0

Oof. Bee with the kill shot.

Datamancer 6 points ago +6 / -0

So spicy.... so dank....

BigIronBigIron 4 points ago +4 / -0

They are going to sacrifice American lives so they can continue war profiteering, feeding at the trough.

JoeBidensDementia1 4 points ago +4 / -0

God, I fucking hope so.

SirBuzzKillingtonVI 2 points ago +2 / -0

I can dream, can't I?

RespectMySafeSpace 4 points ago +4 / -0

Bad intelligence. Biden was in Delaware.

bratt 3 points ago +3 / -0

I think we have more than one drone. How many did we leave in Afghanistan? The whitehouse strike was for the puppet handlers running/ruining the country. The second drone was operated locally in Delaware by little Johnny. The Cox engine biplane with an Estes rocket missle delivered it's payload with suprising accuracy. Right up Biden's ass. He won't need it wiped anymore.

FromSethWithLove 3 points ago +3 / -0

I can imagine that this is the real way Biden goes out (by the CIA of course). Even finishing his term, which looks impossible, would be shameful. Just think: He'd be a martyr, and it would honestly be the humane thing.

modesto 4 points ago +4 / -0

Like shooting fish in a barrel

Hanging_Chad 4 points ago +4 / -0

Fair, next.

RabidZoo 3 points ago +3 / -0

This guy would fuck up boiling water somehow. Ugh. It's so disappointing watching this shitshow.

LadyPedette 3 points ago +3 / -0

Kek! This is meme Gold! Best Bee to date. They're on a roll. For a satire site...they sure come closer to thr truth than any MSM outlet. Sad state of affairs. Bravo 👏 to them for the comedic relief when it's needed

Brandon 3 points ago +3 / -0

Spicy, I like it, does the government respect the 1st for all, for all media, or for communist approved media. Time will tell ⏰

schism 3 points ago +3 / -0

That's 83 biliion scoville spice right there

Joe_Hiden_69 2 points ago +2 / -0

Superb. Amazed they haven't been cancelled by the truth ministry.

PaulieM91 2 points ago +2 / -0

I can already see the glowies dogpiling on this post like something's gonna happen

Decypher 2 points ago +2 / -0

Wouldn't doubt it. Hopefully, he called kamaltoe, Soros, Clinton, Obama, piglocy, Schumer, the generals involved in this Afghanistan bullshit, AOC, Rino's and the rest of the gang before doing so

deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
KingOfTards 2 points ago +3 / -1

Should have been at the Pentagon as well! Drop a nuke on DC

cptkloss 2 points ago +2 / -0

oh this is brutal... i don't think the top echelon of the usurpers care....but the worker bees may

RusherOfDin 2 points ago +2 / -0

Would it surprise anyone in the very least if the Babylon Bee owners were called before Congress and charged with insurrection for this satirical news article?

raptormissle 2 points ago +2 / -0

If those Reapers had a conscience they would do the right thing.

loverat 2 points ago +2 / -0

Brutally brilliant =)

UndeadRevolver 2 points ago +2 / -0


KungPaoMcChicken 2 points ago +2 / -0

Okay, I'm going to say it, and I'm going to get downvoted for saying it.


I cannot find any condition in this document that the Taliban has broken. This peace agreement leaves it completely open to the Taliban sweeping into office. Legally they are perfectly fine in pretty much coming into power. Read the document. Seriously. Whether you consider this agreement a good or bad one is open to interpretation, but if you ask me, this agreement effectively opens the door to a change in government in Afghanistan.

The_Emperor 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yes. It said we're leaving Afghanistan, You guys are staying in Afghanistan. Maybe you won't let Osama 2.0 happen.

FromSethWithLove 2 points ago +2 / -0

Babylon bee is our special ops

basedvirginian 2 points ago +2 / -0

If only this was real 😢

ALtHoneyBadger 2 points ago +2 / -0

Now because Babylon Bee posted that, it'll come true, then the commie administration will blame all of us and then martial law 🤬 fuck!

SmokeyAF 2 points ago +2 / -0

Post of the Year right there.

PubliusInvictus 2 points ago +2 / -0

Wonder if they got a visit from the Secret service for that.

ShittersFull 1 point ago +1 / -0

Lmfao. Blow up a tower or two as well?

TNVol 1 point ago +1 / -0

If only.

friedchicken 1 point ago +1 / -0

Jesus Christ

Brokenarrow 1 point ago +1 / -0

I would carpet nuke DC, Iran, China and Afghanistan..

Sabina 1 point ago +1 / -0

Too bad there's nobody there.

killedmytv 1 point ago +1 / -0

UPDATE: The order was issued by the president from Mar-a-Lago

TrumpPatriot 1 point ago +1 / -0

Damn, the bee ain't playin'

Totally_Not_FBI 1 point ago +1 / -0

Oooh, they're gonna take some heat on this one!

raptormissle 1 point ago +1 / -0

This piece of shit resident thinks bombing a goat famer is going to fix everything.

Rpxtoreador 1 point ago +1 / -0

In b4 Thebee gets banned

FliesTheFlag 1 point ago +1 / -0

This is a photoshop right, asking for a friend

Jsmitty112 1 point ago +1 / -0


GenWashington 1 point ago +1 / -0

It should also be the pentagon

Agent_Orange 1 point ago +1 / -0

That AI will get you every time.

GolfwithTrump 1 point ago +1 / -0

Problem is that he is asleep somewhere in Delaware

PatriotLady1 1 point ago +1 / -0

THEY BEE BRILLIANT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!