Comments (738)
sorted by:
You're viewing a single comment thread. View all comments, or full comment thread.
Looatyourself [S] 91 points ago +95 / -4

Joint account. Fully legal, although morally reprehensible.

DeadOverRed 159 points ago +159 / -0

It's not legal. It's dissipation and it will be subtracted from what she gets. Of course, she'll get everything cuz she's a woman.

Looatyourself [S] 80 points ago +82 / -2

I hate that you’re right.

kernel 63 points ago +65 / -2

You need to transition now. Pretend you are a woman too. Fake woman trumps real woman nowadays.

4more 33 points ago +33 / -0

Might help to say you wanted to transition the children and she is divorcing because of it.

spezisacuckold 8 points ago +8 / -0

Better yet just say you "identify" as a woman and scream at any judge that looks at you the wrong way. Seems to work wonders nowadays.

penguinjay1212 1 point ago +1 / -0

I hope that gave OP a little chuckle. Gotta joke a bit in a grim situation.

CucksForTheDonald 4 points ago +4 / -0

Don't give into doom and gloom. It's a shame you need to fight this woman, but you chose to have this battle sooner or later when you married her. Apparently, she wasn't the right choice.

I've seen reasonable men fight unreasonable former wives in family court, over children and property, and they prevailed. Be smart, be patient, be calm. Document everything in case she comes up with allegations. It's a marathon.

ciemPepe 4 points ago +4 / -0

The comments about transitioning might sound like a joke but if it is what it takes to win, do it. I'd do it. You dont have surgically transition just dress up

Richard_Dangler 3 points ago +3 / -0

I got a laugh out of it but depending on the state it might actually give OP some power. Honestly wouldnt even have to dress up. Just say that he broke the news to the wife and she went ballistic and is using the vax as her argument to keep from being viewed as an "ist"

heightnoise 3 points ago +3 / -0

You're already losing if you give up hope. He's NOT right. Yes, it's more likely than not, but not guaranteed. And rest assured, in the core of your being, that in the future your children will thank you for standing up for them.

Here's the key: Don't go buy bourbon, don't open up a scrap book, and turn over every photo of her in the home. If it's just your kids, or your kids and you, take those and go to the kitchen counter.

Use today and tomorrow to go to 1) your bank, 2) your mortgage provider, 3) your local clerk of court, 4) whatever military services hold records related to your pension/benefits/compensations, and 5) your kids' pediatrician. I do not know if you got a prenup (I hope you did) but if not you NEED to speak to a family law lawyer that does matrimonial regimes so you can start navigating. If you DO, get the original and make several copies to distribute to legal counsel. At the bank, get your account history for your Joint Account, and all separate accounts. Keep the later secret if they still are, but tell your lawyer. At the mortgage provider, get all information on the loan (including how much left, who's been paying and how much) and make copies. Do not tell them your situation yet. From your clerk, get records of all immovable property (ie land) that you have bought or sold, and all records of title to any other relevant movable property. Make sure to record from what accounts/who was paying those notes and how much. From military, you NEED to protect your well-earned comp for your service, its a fixed income and I know too many Dear Johns that came back home to find hard-to-prove identity fraud. Lastly, before you go to the pediatrician collect some evidence of the vaccines being potentially dangerous for children; show 'em the Project Veritas videos. EXPLAIN why you are a concerned parent, and wish to protect your children, and that you're well-researched. The doctor will help with what he can release, but what you need most is a letter of endorsement. Not "I agree completely" kinda letter, that's too much to ask, but more like "This is the father of my patient, who has demonstrated good faith in researching a medical decision for their child...". This won't be your expert, but it WILL shut down the knee-jerk reaction of her counsel to allude you as a conspiracy nutjob who's unfit for custody.

Saturday morning, get a coffee pot on, sit down and start accounting for everything. Look at your kids while you do; it's for them, not her. Organize everything, have a short explanation for your major expenses, and prepare it for your lawyer.

Not only will this help your lawyer save time (and you money), but it also shows your diligence in the eyes of a judge. The bias towards mothers in custody is because there's a "presumption" that women are more nurturing/caring parents. Prove the bitch wrong. Also, it will help kickstart the accounting of your worth/incomes/debts and what YOU contributed during the marriage regime. These are used for asset division calculus, as well as child support, and getting a head start can only serve you.

God bless you. You've done nothing wrong, and have held to your convictions. You have honor, and I wish you well. God bless you, now lawyer up and get a move-on. You've got your kids to save.

Spez: Sorry I forgot, but I'm bound to say: This is NOT legal advice.

MasksAreChildAbuse 1 point ago +1 / -0

What state are you in? There’s some good lawyers out there.


Her husband is family law, and he fights for men in divorces. Call for a consultation.

__I_dindu__nufin_ 19 points ago +19 / -0

Don't doom OP too bad, he's gonna get lawyered up and take it one step at a time. Let's wish him the best here

notCIA 5 points ago +5 / -0

He doesn't have time for that. He has to initiate everything first, and maybe he'll have a chance if he does. Claim she went psycho and stole the kids. Get restraining orders against her and report them kidnapped if she refuses to being them back. As of now he is legally entitled to 50% custody as no arrangements have been made.

Deplora 1 point ago +1 / -0

Nope. In the absence of a previous custody order, the parents have joint custody and either one of them is free to take the children anywhere they choose. That's just the status quo in any marriage in the US where the parents share biological children. Neither parent needs permission from the other to do anything with the children that would be legal if both parents did it together.

DeadOverRed 3 points ago +4 / -1

I think a realistic picture helps one make the right decisions.

DeadOverRed 1 point ago +1 / -0

In fact, he should probably know that courts will do nothing if she takes his kids across borders and jabs them against his will.

glasses2020 -2 points ago +1 / -3

OP doesn't sound very smart.

__I_dindu__nufin_ 6 points ago +6 / -0

Doesn't have to be for me to wish him well. He wants to be a good father and I'll pray for that

refresco 10 points ago +10 / -0

It really depends on the amount she "cleared out".

DeadOverRed 16 points ago +17 / -1

Anything over her normal necessary expenses is disallowed. Emptying an account is pretty much automatically dissipation, even if it's a $100 account of a poor family.

Deplora 4 points ago +4 / -0

Careful. This is a state law issue, and state laws vary tremendously.

here_holdmybeer 7 points ago +7 / -0

Not if you get a decent lawyer that enjoys the fight. For sure the deck is stacked against men, but a good lawyer, good documentation, and keeping your cool goes a LONG way.

Also, unless a court orders you, DO NOT MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. Once you move out, 98% of the time, you're never getting back in.

DeadOverRed 1 point ago +3 / -2

Hahah most states are going to kick you out anyway.

DeadOverRed 1 point ago +1 / -0

Well, I think that's what was meant by "this is legal." It's really none of the bank's business what you do with your money, is it? I mean, we all complain when they cancel people for buying guns or supporting conservatives, and rightly so. As far as the bank is concerned, any authorized account holder can use the money however they wish.

Banking rules aren't the only rules that apply to your money, though.

deleted 21 points ago +22 / -1
TomWolfsTinyDick 5 points ago +5 / -0

Why I don't have a joint account; because I like to sleep at night. I feel for you but there had to be more to it than the jab, that was a convenient excuse. Maybe a good thing in retrospect except the kids, thats what sucks. Godspeed.

AngelMark 1 point ago +1 / -0

You don’t have a side savings/checking account? My husband keeps an account at another bank w money! I keep mine in our safe!

50_stars_for_freedom 1 point ago +1 / -0

I’m a woman, but circumstances like this is why I’ll enter marriage with a private emergency bank account.