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Comments (186)
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137
DuzzentMatta 137 points ago +139 / -2

I don't care if it is a million bucks per squirt. I am not givng my DNA to anyone.

104
AmericanJawa 104 points ago +104 / -0

It's basically selling your future children to unknown women when you get right down to it.

107
deleted 107 points ago +107 / -0
65
Kamalas_a_Bitch 65 points ago +68 / -3

Exactly and you don’t even have to raise them. You will just be spreading your based genetics across future generations to benefit humanity.

22
Data 22 points ago +23 / -1

And you get paid for it? Sounds like a win/win/win.

-17
DuzzentMatta -17 points ago +22 / -39

Based genetics don't matter if all children are corrupted from birth to become commies. Also, I think it would be selfish to bring a child in to the world as it is right now. They have zero chance.

47
Kamalas_a_Bitch 47 points ago +48 / -1

That’s exactly what “they” want us to think to kill off whitey while the rest of the world breeds like bunnies. Their based genes will help them to become resistant to brainwashing and become fighters to save our planet.

-14
DuzzentMatta -14 points ago +6 / -20

Well, best of luck to you. I will not participate.

39
BasedTemplar 39 points ago +40 / -1

Probably for the best.

13
Kamalas_a_Bitch 13 points ago +13 / -0

I am all talk my wife won’t let me she is territorial over my spermies. Of course she says that now. Just wait until she gets a new Suburban out of the deal.

5
ColbyP 5 points ago +5 / -0

Given your responses so far, it's probably best if your line dies with you.

11
wharfthrowaway 11 points ago +11 / -0

We need more based kids to get rid of commies

9
NotSpyRussian 9 points ago +9 / -0

Nah, spawn them suckers like sea turtles...

7
Kamalas_a_Bitch 7 points ago +7 / -0

Unleash the kraken!!!

7
DonJr2024 7 points ago +7 / -0

Duuuude don't fall for that reddit/commie horseshit. "Oh kids are too expensive, oh they ruin your vagina, oh maybe after I get my 4th degree and land a secure entry level marketing job, oh the planet is already overpopulated, oh how can I make a white kid when there are black kids in Africa starving... blah blah blah".

Making a productive member of society who will help others and help you in your old age is beneficial. And the planet is not remotely overpopulated and the you will not go broke - in fact people with kids think bigger and make more money and get paid more.

2
AgentGTO 2 points ago +2 / -0

Now obviously that reddit trash about "overpopulation" with regards to having kids is stupid but there are legit concerns, like can I really afford to have a kid? I know it's not impossible but it's more difficult to start a family with a single earner these days. And is it right to bring a kid into this world, knowing that the reality they are going to face is going to be much worse than what you're facing now?

2
DonJr2024 2 points ago +2 / -0

If you are late 20's and affording a stroller and some baby food is daunting, THAT is the problem. And there's nothing like having a tiny mouth to feed to force you to solve that problem and think bigger and actually make something of your life.

At the same time, if you are 40 and haven't figured it out yet. Or are starting over for whatever reason, don't sweat that either. You know so much more by now and just need to cut the TV and booze and be confident and go get it.

Regardless, kids force you to be a better person and think bigger. They change your whole attitude and people just pay your higher rate because of the confidence you project. And that confidence comes from making a person and raising them and actually acting beyond your own individual self interest.

1
AraphelEinSof 1 point ago +1 / -0

They did everything to subjugate me, none of it worked. So I work third shift at Walmart. I got everything I want. Body armor, .308 bullpup, 1911 .45, Kia cadenza, my own place, etc. I am truly blessed, God has truly saved me.

It was all worth it. Everything that it took to get here: worth it.

8
JesusisKing 8 points ago +8 / -0

you should look up owen benjamin on Genghis khan maybe one of the funniest bits ever

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
4
BasedTemplar 4 points ago +4 / -0

I keked

2
Rvnyx 2 points ago +2 / -0

He didn't have the threat of child support looming over his head.

29
WhiteTrashJesus 29 points ago +29 / -0

People have been court ordered to pay child support for children conceived theough sperm donation. Men who have forzen their sperm in a sperm bank for personal use have also had sperm given to their ex wife by courts and made to pay child support

8
dr_gonzo 8 points ago +8 / -0

Jesus, I didn't know that. Luckily I have never donated sperm, nor do I plan to, but I wouldn't have thought that was the case.

Although in today's world, can't say it surprises me all that much. Everybody's a victim

4
Jack_HinsonTN 4 points ago +4 / -0

Exactly. Protections for donors in most of the USA are appalling.

8
TruuthSeeker 8 points ago +8 / -0

Yeah.. I'll spread my blood line

2
vegaspatriot1776 2 points ago +2 / -0

joke's on them. they will just have to self serve themselves my vaccectomized juices!

5
Quietam_Unum 5 points ago +5 / -0

You remind me about the story of the British dykes who had a friend impregnate one of them so they could "have a baby." When they broke up, the birth mother went after the man for child support.

Poor bastard. Try to help someone and...

4
DudeAlmighty 4 points ago +14 / -10

It is immoral to violate your sexuality and donate your sperm. God created reality in a way where of you break it with sin, you are fundamentally going to inflict consequences on yourself. The Buddhists recognized this phenomena and called it Karma, none the less, it is a real thing.

3
inquisitivedave 3 points ago +3 / -0

can you explain why or is it just superstition? there are plenty of surrogate families who do a better job than real parents.

4
DudeAlmighty 4 points ago +4 / -0

Jordan Peterson who is a clinical psychologist has said he has never seen anyone get away with anything. Which in his view is a chilling observation. You can be the most buttoned up individual, but if you are doing something immoral, you are one way or another going to naturally recieve the consequences. Whereas if you continually do things that are right, striving for the highest moral and personal ideal, your life will naturally be better. As a Christian it just makes sense God has organized reality this way and you can see it in the outcomes of your own actions.

1
Husky 1 point ago +1 / -0

As much as I like his philosophy discussions, that's anecdotal. In my entire life, I've seen the opposite prove true as often as the claim.

1
inquisitivedave 1 point ago +1 / -0

So you're saying we should just get rid of the justice system because people will naturally recieve the consequences of their actions? Why are we wasting all this money putting people in prison then?

2
DudeAlmighty 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yeah that's exactly what I'm saying

2
inquisitivedave 2 points ago +2 / -0

you're an idiot.

0
DudeAlmighty 0 points ago +1 / -1

I'm being sarcastic

2
sixfingerdildo 2 points ago +2 / -0

It's ok, they're getting paid for it

3
CA4Newscum 3 points ago +3 / -0

You can refuse service to anyone you want, so impregnate only MAGA women!

2
Kiss_The_Ring 2 points ago +2 / -0

A million bucks a squirt? Fuck yeah I'll squirt 10 times a load.

79
Toollespaulhero 79 points ago +81 / -2

Found my new job lol. The Lord provides.

34
NoTimeToBleed 34 points ago +34 / -0

"God put me on this earth to masturbate furiously."

🤔

10
Kamalas_a_Bitch 10 points ago +10 / -0

But it’s not for self-gratification it’s more of an Alley-oop

9
DarkRiver 9 points ago +9 / -0

CNN's Jeffrey Toobin enters chat

6
MikesBigJockstrap 6 points ago +6 / -0

He doesn't need a dirty magazine, just put him in a zoom call.

2
sixfingerdildo 2 points ago +2 / -0

Thou shalt not masturbate in anger!

7
chickeninoven 7 points ago +9 / -2

How to bust for real while thinking Godly thoughts though. That's the trick.

-12
BigMikey -12 points ago +2 / -14

Just think of a gender-bent Jesus giving you a BJ

7
BrianSolo 7 points ago +7 / -0

Fuck outta here.

-2
BigMikey -2 points ago +1 / -3

Fine. Imagine fucking Jesus up the ass if that's what gets you off.

2
BrianSolo 2 points ago +2 / -0

You’re disgusting.

-1
deleted -1 points ago +2 / -3
2
Godan 2 points ago +2 / -0

We need the link to the article.

1
skyhawk 1 point ago +1 / -0

Company with only 1 employee, OSHA mandate on suicide watch.

64
Ellessargolden 64 points ago +65 / -1

FUCK em. These women don't deserve my DNA. Don't do it fellas. They will put you on child support. ITS A TRAP!

1
BidenCrimeFamily 1 point ago +1 / -0

Does that actually happen

10
5
MagicBanana 5 points ago +5 / -0

"The documents show that the lesbian couple whom Marotta helped conceive a child say they performed the artificial insemination procedure at home." No doctor involved KEK

2
micaarzur 2 points ago +3 / -1

I highly doubt it, though nothing would surprise me at this point.

1
Ellessargolden 1 point ago +1 / -0

Yes it does

49
mojorisen 49 points ago +50 / -1

I wish I would have known this sooner, I wouldn't have wasted millions of dollars of product over pornhub.

22
Kekintosh2020 22 points ago +22 / -0

Billions

9
ScottButNotBaio 9 points ago +9 / -0

HUNDREDS

2
trumpORbust 2 points ago +2 / -0

Dozens

1
Kwyjiboy 1 point ago +1 / -0

Literally one

4
cleancutcutlet 4 points ago +4 / -0

What's pornhub?

3
Bandanna1 3 points ago +3 / -0

There is more truth in what you are saying than you might know.#nofap life

1
Trythisagain 1 point ago +1 / -0

I would have not gotten clipped!

41
POTUS_DonnieJ 41 points ago +41 / -0

Don’t do it men! As enticing as the money may seem, NEVER sell your DNA. All other moral and ethical issues aside, courts have set precedent that those who have donated sperm can be held liable for child support.

Never let crazy leftists cat ladies pervert your DNA line

9
Kamalas_a_Bitch 9 points ago +9 / -0

Whut! Has that really happened don’t the donors get to be anonymous?

11
POTUS_DonnieJ 11 points ago +11 / -0

Its a murky subject. There have been cases where the donor provided sperm not via a sperm bank. Some cases have been upheld, some have been struck down. I think you’re safer if you go through a sperm bank, but at the same time, with how fucked the law is, I still wouldn’t trust it.

6
Zepp87 6 points ago +6 / -0

Trust or not always read the paperwork if you're doing.... well anything

30
probablyacoincidence 30 points ago +30 / -0

Link?

3
trashaccount76901 3 points ago +4 / -1

I’m calling BS but you never know ¯_(ツ)_/¯

3
probablyacoincidence 3 points ago +3 / -0

Lol, a man can dream

29
swutalk 29 points ago +29 / -0

lol. is there an age bracket? too old age?

26
Kamalas_a_Bitch 26 points ago +26 / -0

I think they have strict parameters. Please research and I’m ready to bargain. $.99/sperm

28
Faulkner 28 points ago +28 / -0

I’d be willing to “do it” the old-fashioned way, using a pretty strict set of parameters of my own.

4
brundlefly777 4 points ago +4 / -0

Fucking laffo, thanks for that.

2
Texar1991 2 points ago +2 / -0

THIS is what I’m holding out for.

18
fuckthealphabetsoup 18 points ago +18 / -0

I don't think they'll have much of a choice soon.

5
swutalk 5 points ago +5 / -0

lol

4
CanadianTrump 4 points ago +4 / -0

That would be INSANELY great pricing lol.

19
ThemWVHills 19 points ago +19 / -0

The new Bitcoin

13
MI_MAGA 13 points ago +13 / -0

Jizzcoin lol

1
skyhawk 1 point ago +1 / -0

Nutcoin

3
WinnerChickenDinner 3 points ago +3 / -0

The term "blockchain" should not be referring to my nether regions.

15
deleted 15 points ago +15 / -0
22
JerryNadlerBeltFund 22 points ago +22 / -0

In the cup, just as directed.

9
deleted 9 points ago +9 / -0
4
TurdeauStinks 4 points ago +4 / -0

https://ifunny.co/picture/unvaccinated-sperm-commanding-400-price-premium-at-sperm-banks-in-tJ6YWU869 I’m assuming. He doesn’t reply to it either so it’s obviously a meme cut in half to try and be misleading. Some people want to believe this is true so it’s easy to see a fake article and confirm your bias.

4
Brucesky420 4 points ago +4 / -0

Not sure, I can't find this article even using duckduckgo. Not saying it doesn't exist, because all the fucking results are mainstream media making fun of the idea but it's concerning there's no link provided by the OP

14
Vermino 14 points ago +15 / -1

Don't do it. It's a trap! No amount of money should be given for your pure DNA.

  1. Find the right woman
  2. Get married
  3. Have lots of kids
  4. Teach them to be good humans
  5. Your boys will repeat steps 1-4

Single mothers coddle their children and typically turn them into weak vengeful humans (god bless single mothers that try; but a nuclear family is the true path, since Adam & Eve)

10
Isolated_Patriot 10 points ago +10 / -0

You are otherwise spot on but this:

but a nuclear family is the true path, since Adam & Eve

Is bullshit. It's called the nuclear family for a reason, because the idea of a tiny independent family unit consisting of mom, dad, and a couple of kids came from the nuclear age.

You missing out on the fact that the first wave comunism in the 20s-40s already succeeded in destroying the Family by making everyone think a small, isolated unit controlled entirely by their tv was the "real" family.

No.

Family isn't meant to be spread out across five to ten states and only occasionally getting together to argue about politics on holidays. Families used to be a force to be reckoned with, with unified goals, ideals, religion, AND politics. There was a time where a little punk wanna be commie would have gotten the snot beat out of him by dad, granddad, 5 uncles, 6 cousins and partridge and a pear tree. THAT was the family since Adam and Eve.

2
markjefferson 2 points ago +2 / -0

Sounds legit

2
Huginn 2 points ago +2 / -0

Huh. I had never realized that. It makes so much sense.

5
Vermino 5 points ago +5 / -0

If you don't understand this. Read Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life (book or audio).

4
stagolee 4 points ago +4 / -0

The alternative is that your sperm most likely goes to a blue haired dyke and her trans boyfriend/girlfriend and they raise another mentally ill drain on society.

12
JerryNadlerBeltFund 12 points ago +12 / -0

I wonder how many linkedin profiles will change from "Government contractor" to "Professional jacker" after they get fired for being unjabbed.

9
RandyMarsh420 9 points ago +9 / -0

It was... it was a spooky ghost.

2
markolbb 2 points ago +2 / -0

Fucking nailed it with the quote and the username!

Here King, you dropped this 👑

8
TruuthSeeker 8 points ago +8 / -0

Holy shit! We are the chosen ones

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
2
TruuthSeeker 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yeeeyeee

8
Buck_Fiden 8 points ago +8 / -0

Wow. At those prices, Kamala is going to have to switch to swallowing caviar.

8
Demijinx 8 points ago +8 / -0

Ha! We called it. OP you got a link? I want to read this.

6
TheMadManDidItAgain 6 points ago +6 / -0

Just asking.... like, I have a friend who wants to know. Just how much can somebody get for donating sperm? Suppose they have good genes... no history of cancer, muscular builds, smart.

6
Jemmy 6 points ago +6 / -0

Post a fucking link, or I don't believe it.

5
sleepingbeautyc 5 points ago +5 / -0

Link?

5
HermitKidd 5 points ago +5 / -0

No sauce. I can’t find this story. Calling this out as BUNK until OP can prove he’s not fucking with us.

4
TheWhitestOfFangs 4 points ago +4 / -0

💯% with you on this.

5
terrapin11 5 points ago +5 / -0

I'd never let a vaccinated female have my sperm, let alone a total stranger.

4
Calipede4Life 4 points ago +4 / -0

Can I get a link? Want to know where this is happening

4
MrJethro 4 points ago +4 / -0

this was joked about last week, now it's real

4
556y308 4 points ago +4 / -0

Struggling getting pregnant? Have no fear, Bitcoin Sperm Man is here!

4
Flightgirl1 4 points ago +4 / -0

Same should go for unvaccinated blood.

3
johnfist1 3 points ago +3 / -0

This same image keeps being posted, but never a link. On a side note - maybe I should moonlight.

3
MaximusOrwellius 3 points ago +3 / -0

I'm willing to make direct deposits, pm me.

3
Puppy528 3 points ago +3 / -0

Now I just need to convince my wife of its value for the next time she says she wants fine dining.

3
Trump2024 3 points ago +3 / -0

Yeah, I've got an add on craigslist. The application fee is on a sliding scale. Some hotties I even waive the fee.

3
f_bastiat 3 points ago +3 / -0

I told my wife she needs to do 4x the work around the house before I donate any more sperm to her, she called my bluff and now I'm fucked.

3
probablyacoincidence 3 points ago +3 / -0

EDIT: now you ARENT fucked

3
johnqpublic864 3 points ago +3 / -0

The Tulsi simps around here could fill buckets.

3
SBOJ_JOBS 3 points ago +3 / -0

Open 24x7: no waiting!

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
3
MonkPepe 3 points ago +3 / -0

Searched on both Brave and DDG and did not find this. Anyone have better luck?

2
Zixxzy1 2 points ago +2 / -0

In China?

2
Jimmyjetfuel 2 points ago +2 / -0

I'm keeping my kosher baby batter until the price tops out.

2
HairSniffer 2 points ago +2 / -0

I see what you did there.

2
Rvnyx 2 points ago +2 / -0

I can only assume my kids out there will be abused by their retard parents and the state.

2
okboomer59 2 points ago +2 / -0

Imagine the premium Kyle could charge

2
TheWhitestOfFangs 2 points ago +2 / -0

Source? I doubt "articles" without source attached.

Edit: Couldn't find it myself at put a source. So far, assumed false. Correct me if you can.

2
zentoco 2 points ago +2 / -0

Well Pinky, I know what I'm doing every weekend for the rest of my life. I mean, I heard a friend say that, yeah, that's it.

2
PonySoldier66 2 points ago +2 / -0

TAKE MY uh you know what-

GIVE ME MY MONEY!

2
cajun_robear 2 points ago +2 / -0

Any more for Aged? Asking for a friend.

2
The_C0lLING 2 points ago +2 / -0

It's becoming the new Bitcoin.

2
GreenLivesMatter 2 points ago +2 / -0

This is humor, right?

2
bakahed 2 points ago +2 / -0

Unvaxxed sperm is the next bitcoin

2
PaulieM91 2 points ago +2 / -0

Time to make it a new crypto PNC PureNutCoin, backed by unvaxxed sperm

2
CharlieMike 2 points ago +2 / -0

I only believe in direct deposit, no proxy donations.

2
DuesImperator 2 points ago +2 / -0

PURESPERM!!!!

2
ItsOKtoVoteTrump 2 points ago +2 / -0

*cumming true

1
BUTERBALZ 1 point ago +1 / -0

And here I am giving my sperm to bitches for free...