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Rittenhouse, Sandmann Agree To Share Joint Custody Of CNN (babylonbee.com)          TOP  KEK    
posted ago by masshole3 ago by masshole3 +4547 / -1
Comments (105)
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64
KingOfTards 64 points ago +68 / -4

Sandmann needs to marry Kyle's sister, have babies, so we can groom the ultimate President for our future generation!

63
NZ_Pede 63 points ago +64 / -1

I understand what you are saying but the way you put it sounds creepy as fuck to me lol

25
KingOfTards 25 points ago +28 / -3

Kyle should introduce Sandmann to his sister. Hopefully they marry and have kids. We mentor their kid to become a future President.

28
BehindTheSatan 28 points ago +28 / -0

You were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, you didn't stop to think if you should.

21
ProphetOfKek 21 points ago +21 / -0

Life, uh, finds a way.

8
unknownz_kek 8 points ago +8 / -0

What's crazy is when something changes gender in jurassic park it actually changes gender.

5
War_Hamster 5 points ago +5 / -0

Banana slugs and green sea turtles can change their sex too.

7
Brokenmatrix2021 7 points ago +7 / -0

Yeah but they don't tell us how to live.

5
SupremeDearLeader2 5 points ago +5 / -0

the word slug brings up a mental image of Jerry Nadler drooling on himself

[ actual slugs are more graceful ]

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
MuhNameJeff 2 points ago +2 / -0

Wow....ok then

2
Brokenmatrix2021 2 points ago +2 / -0

😅😂

5
NZ_Pede 5 points ago +5 / -0

👍

3
notCIA 3 points ago +3 / -0

Perhaps Sandmann has a sister as well? We could arrange a double whammy. A so called Gohan and Trunks from which an undefeatable team could form.

2
KingOfTards 2 points ago +2 / -0

Brilliant. It would "fortify" our future.

4
nickybops 4 points ago +5 / -1

Its called drastic measures for drastic times.

0
HowDoYouLogIn 0 points ago +1 / -1

You're supposed to trade the women of your family to other families, that's literally how it's supposed to be.

9
MapleBaconWaffles 9 points ago +9 / -0

The Kwisatz Haderach?

5
KingOfTards 5 points ago +5 / -0

Gesserit is that you? Yes my old friend. Breed effectively and efficiently.

2
War_Hamster 2 points ago +2 / -0

Frightening comment, but nice reference.

8
keepamericagreat102 8 points ago +8 / -0

Sandman isn't much, just a nice kid. But Kyle... that's a pure alpha gene right there.

8
RegularAmerican 8 points ago +8 / -0

I keep saying that too. They don't even compare. Sure Nick was probably going through some serious pressure when that happened. I couldn't imagine that happening to me as a teen. But Nick didn't even come close to losing his life. Kyle did. He avoided death with the slightest of hand. He is and always will be a legend. I believe he had the help of God who sent his angel to that riot.

7
Carry_Your_Name 7 points ago +7 / -0

He has a sister?

8
KingOfTards 8 points ago +9 / -1

Yes. She was cleaning graffiti with him in the photo. Purdy hot

11
NomadicKrow2 11 points ago +11 / -0

We should ask how old she is first...

5
KingOfTards 5 points ago +6 / -1

She is of age.

4
chris82tk 4 points ago +6 / -2

She's only 17 years, 364 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds old you sick fuck

2
MuhNameJeff 2 points ago +2 / -0

This pedes knows

4
nickybops 4 points ago +5 / -1

Shes kind to the eyes ngl. All respect to Saint Kyle.

3
1
Hanging_Chad 1 point ago +1 / -0

What's she packin'?

2
DonttrustChina 2 points ago +2 / -0

some serious firepower!

3
TearofLys 3 points ago +3 / -0

Yes, and she is a little hottie.

3
montominco 3 points ago +3 / -0

Sandmann/Rittenhouse offspring would have a killer smirk that never misses.

1
KingOfTards 1 point ago +1 / -0

Haha ain't that the truth. Kyle has that Babe Ruth baby face. When he smirks his whole face transforms to an adult. Sandmann has a smirk that causes others to question themselves immediately. He isn't a judgemental person so a smirk from him goes a long way.

You put both together, wew! That's a deadly smirk.

38
pushbackv2 38 points ago +38 / -0

Neither party has decided what to do with Brian Stelter, who may have to be put up for adoption.

kek

18
Pinochet_Was_Right 18 points ago +18 / -0

I'm okay with a 432-month abortion

Also, that fuck looks horrible for only 36

9
MustafaJones 9 points ago +9 / -0

He's only 36?! All that lying must be having sapping his life force or something.

12
okboomer59 12 points ago +12 / -0

Satan does that

4
MuhNameJeff 4 points ago +4 / -0

Kek

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
19
Big_Don_45_2020 19 points ago +19 / -0

The Bee is great, but this post is exceptional.

2
ancillasedet 2 points ago +2 / -0

It is.

16
TheSaltyVet 16 points ago +16 / -0

he needs to sue CNN directly. Then every Anchor individually that defamed him.

12
TheSaltyVet 12 points ago +12 / -0

I want to see Brian and Don Lemon selling there ass at a local Circle K or QT.

4
SupremeDearLeader2 4 points ago +4 / -0

Lemon has spray on hair and a gross body, he'd only be worth 5$ on the corner

2
TheSaltyVet 2 points ago +2 / -0

Well that was my point. lol just complete scum CNN and anchors..

2
FlauntandStraunt 2 points ago +2 / -0

They can bunk witk Keith Olbermann in his mother's basement.

1
TheSaltyVet 1 point ago +1 / -0

I agree

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
Induceddrag 1 point ago +1 / -0

One of the key points in Sandman’s case was the msm “talent” were all putting out defamatory statements on their company Twitter accounts. This may explain Olbermann deleting his tweet after the verdict that Rittenhouse was a murderer.
Twitter could turn into a goldmine for Rittenhouse.

1
TheSaltyVet 1 point ago +1 / -0

I hope so. Cause he will not be able to do shit, since everybody knows who he is now. I want that dude buried in pussy and beer.

2
Induceddrag 2 points ago +2 / -0

Concur. I would be content with a bunch of out of court settlements and Rittenhouse living in a big house, driving a Corvette to college. He will have to go to Hillsdale, since nobody else will have him.

1
TheSaltyVet 1 point ago +1 / -0

Yah i'm not sure. But his name will be known for a long time, he will have a target on his back, with the lefties and the idiots that believe he killed black folk. All i can say he should lay low while we take back America and get the real President back into office.

10
alienjesus 10 points ago +10 / -0

If I could buy CNN, I’d then rent a cruise ship big enough for all the employees. I’d say we are going on a team building retreat, then sink that bitch out in the middle of the ocean with only one life raft.

6
OakiaPyre 6 points ago +6 / -0

And attached to that life raft is a bomb with a timer and a message reading "when the weight of the cargo is reduced to that of a single person the bomb will deactivate." A bag with a loaded AR-15 tied to the boat.

4
alienjesus 4 points ago +4 / -0

Hell yeah! Straight up squid game their assets!

2
RocketSprocket 2 points ago +2 / -0

You can call it the SS Eastland.

2
BehindTheSatan 2 points ago +2 / -0

And guns for everyone!

Although you may simply create one of the largest pirate ships known to mankind.

1
ancillasedet 1 point ago +1 / -0

Helicopter rides.

6
MustafaJones 6 points ago +6 / -0

Kyle definitely needs to sue a whole lot of people for defamation. Even after the verdict there are still politicians and pundits calling him a racist, murderer etc. Assuming he isnt swindled by some dirtbag lawyer, he stands to get a lot of compensation. Both of these guys have set very important legal precedents.

6
Pinochet_Was_Right 6 points ago +6 / -0

Shit, they should sell their stock and buy DWAC

5
masshole3 [S] 5 points ago +5 / -0

What a great day! First the Rittenhouse verdict, and I get a STICKY! Woo hoo !!!

3
SupremeDearLeader2 3 points ago +3 / -0

Congrats to you and everyone here 🍻🥂🍷🍾🍸

2
Firespawn 2 points ago +2 / -0

While Napoleon Blownapart never amounts to anything in life except the dumbfuck that got his bicep vaporized courtesy of his own dumb decision making skills.

2
doghouse 2 points ago +2 / -0

i heard rosenbaum may have raped cnn

2
Pickles 2 points ago +2 / -0

2 genuinely great people. And the media and leftists had no problem ruining their lives. In the end, the truth showed they were not only "not guilty", but pretty fucking amazing young people.

2
DannyCanusa 2 points ago +2 / -0

Though I guess I shouldn't be, I'm floored at all the people who aren't aware he didn't shoot any blacks.

1
Deplora 1 point ago +1 / -0

He's a pretty sorry excuse for a white supremacist, shooting only white guys when there were all those black and brown guys running around the riot area.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
Richard_Dangler 1 point ago +1 / -0

Shit I think Sandmann needs to grant custody to Rittenhouse, and then like top comment said, marry his sister.

1
DudeNoOne 1 point ago +1 / -0

Kenosha Covington alliance.

1
FredRedd 1 point ago +1 / -0

Super fuckin’ KEK.

1
Zanthippe 1 point ago +1 / -0

As we write, Garland is looking for a federal charge to appease the looney squads. Diligence patriots. If we know anything about these lefty assholes, they don't care about justice for normal white people.

1
hey_spike 1 point ago +1 / -0

Absolutely savage!

1
Steady3 1 point ago +1 / -0

Lol. Awesome

1
RabidZoo 1 point ago +1 / -0

Brian Stelter may have to be put up for adoption...lmao! Oh Bee...you so funny!

1
Joe_Snow 1 point ago +1 / -0

SoUrCe?

1
Blindsummit 1 point ago +1 / -0

I would abort it , if I was them.

1
Paxelmania 1 point ago +1 / -0

I'm okay with a child having two dads in this instance.

1
Perhelion 1 point ago +1 / -0

Lmaooooo

0
SaveUsSCOTUS 0 points ago +1 / -1

Lin wood still won’t hand over the 500k his sister raised for him. Muh kraken

-1
PAinsider -1 points ago +0 / -1

Ya can't beat the Bee; they get to the gist of the funny side of things!

-7
deleted -7 points ago +2 / -9
4
Unapologist 4 points ago +4 / -0

I'll take "putting words in OPs mouth he didn't say" for 300, Alex.

2
RocketSprocket 2 points ago +2 / -0

Handshaking Hijacker.

1
ThrushLimbald 1 point ago +1 / -0

Way to underplay the harassment and threats and weirdos fucking with him too and the media 24/7 making him out to be a hitler youth.

Begone handshake