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posted ago by IvermectinWorks ago by IvermectinWorks +1305 / -3

I was in the grocery store yesterday, and this karen was behind me in line. She asked me, "Can you please move your cart up so I can put my basket down?" I responded, "Sure, just move my cart if you need to." She said, "Oh, I can't do that because you've been touching it."

I looked at her basket she was carrying, and I said, "Hmm, I wonder how many people touched that box of cereal in your basket before you did or that basket you're carrying." Her face turned a deadly ashen white as the truth of the matter dawned on her. It was a total look of complete Armageddon. Her world just ended. She slowly walked up to the checkout counter to put the offending article down so as to avoid further contamination, after narrowly avoiding the contamination just waiting to jump on her from my cart that was blocking her way.

The checkout clerk then started processing her groceries, handling each item with his Covid-infested hands and then bagged them.

So I decided to really stick the knife in, and I asked her, "How are you going to get those groceries to your car after he just handled all your grocery items there? And just remember, you'll have to quarantine your groceries now for 72 hours, because Covid lives that long."

I don't think she had enough blood left in her face at that point to allow her to even speak.

And that's what it looks like when karens get smacked in the face with reality.

Comments (68)
sorted by:
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deleted 96 points ago +99 / -3
50
BidensButtWiper 50 points ago +53 / -3

And then, as she walked out everybody clapped and chanted "LETS GO BRANDON " while carrying OP out on their shoulders.

The OPs real name? Albert Einstein.

4
AHonkTooFar 4 points ago +4 / -0

Dude this was obviously written by Abraham Lincoln, not Albert Einstein. If you can't see that then I don't know what to say to you.

11
deleted 11 points ago +14 / -3
-2
Xahnel -2 points ago +3 / -5

Op wasn't paying attention to them because they didn't matter. OP only describes one person because he was only looking at one person. You know what that is? It's called not "setting the stage", and is generally a good way to tell that someone isn't bullshiting you. A man watching one thing isn't going to know how the people around him are behaving.

4
Forbidden_outcast 4 points ago +4 / -0

Obviously you don’t know wannabe writers write. this is how they act

1
Xahnel 1 point ago +3 / -2

Obviously you don't either, because I am a wannabe writer, and I set scenes all the time, and that is not how anyone wanting to write a good short story sets a scene. Just because it's written correctly, and the OP has a good basic sense of how to arrange words on a page without spelling or grammar errors, does not automatically make every well written story about IRL events false. Much more likely, it just means they hold a higher standard of communication than you.

2
Forbidden_outcast 2 points ago +2 / -0

Read the room, dude. Seriously. Being linguistically and grammatically correct does not equal effective writing.

2
Xahnel 2 points ago +2 / -0

read the room

Not an argument. Just a fallacy.

-1
sub-collector -1 points ago +4 / -5

Boomers will believe ANYTHING on the internet: https://patriots.win/p/140JKA4CHe/x/c/4JIPLklsxXC

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BulletsForTeethORG 35 points ago +37 / -2

Bitch slapping Karens one red pill at a time.

Priceless.

Thanks for sharing Pede. ;)

34
Kamalas_a_Bitch 34 points ago +40 / -6

And then everyone clapped

10
bill_in_texas 10 points ago +11 / -1

They friggen' should have, if they didn't actually!

7
WisestGuru93 7 points ago +7 / -0

Please clap.

28
RighterThanU 28 points ago +28 / -0

Saw someone wiping down their groceries including the inside of their foil Turkey pan with bleach wipes in the supermarket parking lot before loading it in their suv.

I just stood and stared dumbfounded.

20
Mrs.Frostbite 20 points ago +20 / -0

And if the clot shot won’t kill her the chemicals from her disinfectant wipes will. Total insanity!

6
tom_machine 6 points ago +6 / -0

She should’ve just injected that bleach.

3
brundlefly777 3 points ago +3 / -0

Many horseshoe theories are proving correct, including, apparently, this one. Is it the Circle Back effect?

3
hotdogsforsale 3 points ago +3 / -0

don't forget the cheap hand sanitizer carcinogens!

https://www.beckershospitalreview.com/supply-chain/carcinogen-found-in-44-hand-sanitizer-brands-introduced-during-pandemic.html

and don't you DARE go outside for some vitamin D, science-denier

2
splink 2 points ago +2 / -0

I have a family member who would sit there and wipe off ALL of his groceries with rubbing alcohol before putting them away, then wipe off everything in his kitchen they might have touched. He is still an insane masking hermit to this day.

3
user365927285937 3 points ago +3 / -0

Had. You had a family member.

1
splink 1 point ago +1 / -0

Believe me, we're all wondering how long he will last before his pronouns become was/were. Used to be a conservative (or so we thought) but the propaganda made his brain fall out.

17
Shmioighan 17 points ago +17 / -0

Fear is the mind killer and all that.

15
SHILL_DETECTOR 15 points ago +15 / -0

Kek!

11
JustOhKay 11 points ago +14 / -3

She wasn’t a bitch, or yelling. Karen is not a proper name for this story. We need a better one for uneducated lemmings.

7
Tcrlaf1 7 points ago +7 / -0

How about “ Uneducated Lemmings”?

5
deleted 5 points ago +6 / -1
2
HiddenDekuScrub 2 points ago +3 / -1

Yeah, she wasn't being mean.... Everyone meets the red pill differently.

8
2020isKAGtime 8 points ago +9 / -1

What gets me is that one of the biggest ways of spreading germs is with touch. Yet, no one is forcing a glove mandate. No one is making sure you wash your hands before you leave a public restroom. No grocery cashier is made to wear gloves in which they should switch for a clean pair with each customer. When this bullshit first started, hand sanitizer was the new toilet paper for panic buying. Now it’s available everywhere without purchase limit.
Why is no one asking what’s up with that?

6
IvermectinWorks [S] 6 points ago +6 / -0

RIght? I thought about adding the part where nobody ever washes their hands after using the restroom, but I thought it would be a bit too much for her to handle.

4
hotdogsforsale 4 points ago +4 / -0

Must be that a lot of the people who sanitized constantly are busy with their new hobby, chemotherapy:

https://www.beckershospitalreview.com/supply-chain/carcinogen-found-in-44-hand-sanitizer-brands-introduced-during-pandemic.html

2
user365927285937 2 points ago +2 / -0

The worst is when restaurant workers handle cash with gloves, use the bathroom with gloves, then serve your food with gloves. Pretty sure that defeats the fucking purpose.

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NPC01001101010000010 8 points ago +8 / -0

My friend's crazy wife ACTUALLY made him quarantine their delivered groceries.

So fucking dumb. He still isn't allowed to come to the gym. She is psychotic.

7
suckmycorona 7 points ago +7 / -0

People are so fucking dumb

7
slickfiddy 7 points ago +7 / -0

Love it!

7
corntortilla 7 points ago +8 / -1

That was a beautiful story. Really heart warming.

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xBigCoffinHunter 5 points ago +5 / -0

That’s not even reality. That’s just fucking funny.

5
PopMaca 5 points ago +5 / -0

Haaha! I love you man! (in non-gay way)

5
PhantomShield72 5 points ago +5 / -0

Then all the spike proteins clapped.

5
Johnny108 5 points ago +5 / -0

REEEE-tality

5
Chopblock 5 points ago +5 / -0

that's what it looks like when karens get smacked in the face with reality.

Kek

5
IntrepidBurger 5 points ago +5 / -0

COVID is a disease of the anxious. It's never been about the virus or health.

Anxious people are 100% controlled by their anxiety, that's why no amount of facts or debate will end this. Only mockery and non-compliance.

Well done OP

4
FUCKCHINA1776 4 points ago +4 / -0

She deserved every little bit of that. Dumb unhappy cunt. Probably fat too.

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formersenatorbiden69 4 points ago +4 / -0

The Karens are the worst part of all of this.

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thelastlast 4 points ago +4 / -0

smacked in the face with their manufactured reality, not objective reality. just wanted to make that point.

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Crappydatum 3 points ago +3 / -0

Everything you said was NOT reality. Just her programming causing a kennel panic

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Omni420 3 points ago +3 / -0

When this all first started my wife did that type of education on some karens.

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LightBringerFlex 3 points ago +3 / -0

Haha. Karens are so funny.

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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Geyck 2 points ago +2 / -0

No one is scared of this anymore. But there are people that make sure you are following "the rules", no matter how contradictory they are. A real person would argue with you about not caring than realizing anything new.

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splink 2 points ago +2 / -0

I know people who are still this scared. Yes, they are that stupid. Being fearful has become a habit, it's the way they live now.

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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Geyck 1 point ago +1 / -0

Damn dude. I stand corrected. Thought it was pure virtue signaling at this point. Even everybody from the church I left, because they were mask and touch Nazis, were sitting shoulder to shoulder yesterday at a restaurant having a great time. Glad they came around, but it was a year too late for me.

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keeptherepublic100 2 points ago +2 / -0

You are my hero

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JZSquared 2 points ago +2 / -0

Remember, none of these people gave a second thought to any of this before the coof. That's how you know they're brainwashed.

2
Jleinf 2 points ago +2 / -0

I bite my fingernails and Covid didn’t touch me because my immune system said: Been there done that GTFOOH

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trumpreallywon 2 points ago +2 / -0

But did you cough repeatedly?

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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IvermectinWorks [S] 2 points ago +2 / -0

lol. I know, right? They think all that shit just magically appears all by itself on the shelves.

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d_lock 2 points ago +2 / -0

My wife used to work at a yuppy grocery store, and she heard very similar about lasers from the clerks in front. Usually once they explained that everything had been scanned entering the warehouse, leaving the warehouse, arriving at the store, and during price checks, the person would let them scan the barcode.

Glad to hear the same crazy is spreading.

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Canuck4Trump2020 2 points ago +2 / -0

She probably dropped the bag off in Food Donations Bin on the way out ...the poor thing

2
docdarling 2 points ago +2 / -0

Tbh she doesn't really sound like Karen. Just poorly educated (quallity of education, not quantity) and hopelessly naive.

2
Forbidden_outcast 2 points ago +2 / -0

Lol

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JokerPede 2 points ago +2 / -0

I always enjoy the idiots refusing to use carts that aren't in the cart return at the front of the store when they tell, usually their children, "We don't want that cart because someone may have used it. '

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Xahnel 2 points ago +2 / -0

Well, she's off to kill.her children then herself.

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MmmSoup 1 point ago +1 / -0

Did you help your mom with her groceries after all that?

1
SuperUser9 1 point ago +2 / -1

Karen most likely has OCD and was a germaphobe before covid hysteria.

0
PROBE 0 points ago +2 / -2

This story is fake and gay, but I enjoyed it anyways. Bravo.