2149
Comments (261)
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122
Vindalou 122 points ago +124 / -2

Shit Sheath. Bunghole Balloon. Gas Glove. Fartbox French Tickler. Rooter Rubber.

74
Mr_Rightside 74 points ago +74 / -0

Anal Armor

19
lovemylibs 19 points ago +19 / -0

Shitter's full hull

18
Wankerton 18 points ago +18 / -0

Pooper prober

16
dr_gonzo 16 points ago +16 / -0

Brown eye balloon

1
LiteraIIyHitIer 1 point ago +1 / -0

A Buttigieg.

7
ThisTrainHasNoBrakes 7 points ago +7 / -0

“Shitters full” would do on its own, just for the Christmas Vacation reference

5
MayorMcSixaplix 5 points ago +5 / -0

Pucker Pocket

5
spelunking_librator 5 points ago +5 / -0

Shitter Splitter

41
kennedyc5217 41 points ago +41 / -0

Taint tarp

15
TheBasedFriscoMan 15 points ago +15 / -0

Mitt Romney Mouth hole

3
Walt_Kowalski 3 points ago +3 / -0

lols

6
MrTexan 6 points ago +6 / -0

Dooky defender.

31
preferredfault 31 points ago +32 / -1

The El Disney Especial.

2
spelunking_librator 2 points ago +2 / -0

Butt Candy

20
Les_Deplorables 20 points ago +20 / -0

Prone Drone

15
deleted 15 points ago +15 / -0
88
MythArcana 88 points ago +88 / -0

The FBI will buy up the first batch, won't they.

41
BarronVonSaltzburg26 41 points ago +41 / -0

They've been participating in the beta testing, frequently.

28
plznosteal 28 points ago +28 / -0

I heard they were spearheading the project themselves, actualy.

24
alfredbester 24 points ago +24 / -0

They are the main thrust of the whole gay initiative.

8
Walt_Kowalski 8 points ago +8 / -0

Sounds like a pain in the ass if you ask me.

5
deleted 5 points ago +5 / -0
5
BidenLikesMiners 5 points ago +5 / -0

phizer sent a free batch to the offices

8
BilbroNaggins 8 points ago +8 / -0

Betas gonna beta.

5
South_Florida_Guy 5 points ago +5 / -0

They're currently the atm phase of testing

13
imnotdeadyet [S] 13 points ago +13 / -0

They were probably the control group when they did testing!

11
MythArcana 11 points ago +11 / -0

We're gonna have an anal lube shortage soon, aren't we.

11
JiubUnbound 11 points ago +11 / -0

Washington's Strategic Anal Lube Reserves are at their lowest recorded levels. Analysts project they may have to resort to buttfucking this country dry as early as June.

5
MythArcana 5 points ago +5 / -0

K3K! 🐸👌

3
Trumpsta4 3 points ago +3 / -0

Pretty sure we’re already being fucked sans lube.

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
6
MythArcana 6 points ago +6 / -0

Would be funny if someone mixed up Pelosi's martini with anal lube.

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
6
MythArcana 6 points ago +6 / -0

+1 for gummers.

12
Gwoz8881 12 points ago +12 / -0

No they like to go in raw

9
Pepedom 9 points ago +9 / -0

And shitty

6
Rooster-J-Cogburn 6 points ago +6 / -0

They're testing them on the Gay-TF

5
NomadicKrow2 5 points ago +5 / -0

GayTF will buy them second hand at full price.

3
MythArcana 3 points ago +3 / -0

+1 for GayTF. XD

58
Arkansas_Patriot 58 points ago +62 / -4

Regular condoms don’t work for anal sex? Am married, and not a degenerate so it’s news to me.

132
WassermanSchultz 132 points ago +132 / -0

They don't work at all. That's why Buttigeig got pregnant.

65
CorradoSoprano 65 points ago +65 / -0

Slow clap

26
plznosteal 26 points ago +26 / -0

plz clap

19
TexasPiper 19 points ago +19 / -0

Clap ya stupid bastards

6
NavySTG 6 points ago +6 / -0

Fags get clap.

13
doug2 13 points ago +13 / -0

LolZz

12
K3719er 12 points ago +12 / -0

Top Kek Fren 🤣

12
Arkansas_Patriot 12 points ago +12 / -0

Hahahahahahahaha

11
Krat 11 points ago +11 / -0

Bravo

36
RStroud 36 points ago +36 / -0

It is just a regular condom with a new approved indication on the box. Most doctors would advise not put anything in the butt. The rest know that's the correct answer, but are faggots.

11
Arkansas_Patriot 11 points ago +12 / -1

Well, maybe suppositories and the occasional finger to check your prostate, or are you telling me my Doc is one of the fag ones?

11
unicornpoop 11 points ago +13 / -2

"Check" the prostate. You guys are gullible.

7
Arkansas_Patriot 7 points ago +7 / -0

I haven’t had an prostrate checks yet as I’m 37, but I had some weird butthole checks for a couple cool guy schools in the Army, and once as a child for hemmeroids. I’m starting to think something was off.

6
kung-flu-fighting 6 points ago +6 / -0

Did you feel two hands on your back?

4
BidenLikesMiners 4 points ago +4 / -0

its not normal when a lib doctor wants to put his dick in your butt? its for the test guys, his name is dr barry

6
reagan2024 6 points ago +6 / -0

If a doctor puts a condom on his penis before checking your prostate, he might be one of the fag ones.

12
imnotdeadyet [S] 12 points ago +12 / -0

I guess they don't work well enough! If they wear a mask they will be more safe!

2
spelunking_librator 2 points ago +2 / -0

Wrap it around and push it in.

1
Gyrfalcon 1 point ago +1 / -0

Same question I had.

1
Olds777 1 point ago +1 / -0

This one is made of the same stuff they make colostomy bags out of.

30
brotatofarmer 30 points ago +31 / -1

Wait... I've been pounding my catboy's bussy with an unapproved wrapper?

I didn't know i was a fringe extremist.

20
BeBest 20 points ago +20 / -0

Nick Fuentes, is that you?

9
InternetPersona 9 points ago +9 / -0

Whoever he is, he's DEFINITELY a Bill Mitchell

2
brotatofarmer 2 points ago +3 / -1

Yes, it is I. Nicholas J Fuentes. My sister is Daisy Fuentes. She was on MTV

3
Ghostberserker69 3 points ago +3 / -0

Your sister was hot, in a weird way, 30 years ago...

3
Pissed_American 3 points ago +3 / -0

I remember when I was a kid I would check out the daisy airgun site to see if they had any new bb gun I could ask for Christmas and she was always the first result.

-1
BidenLikesMiners -1 points ago +1 / -2

gay millennials are fucking retarded. just say youre a faggot dumbass.

4
brotatofarmer 4 points ago +4 / -0

Catboys cant get pregnant. I'm pro life. Does it make you mad i can splooge anywhere i want consequence free?

1
flashersenpai 1 point ago +1 / -0

trolled

19
DJT2020 19 points ago +19 / -0

What will they think of next?

8
deleted 8 points ago +8 / -0
1
bubadmt 1 point ago +2 / -1

But will they be FDA approved?

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
5
Sumarongi 5 points ago +5 / -0

FDA approved condom for Chili Dogs?

FDA approved plastic for Warm Carls?

FDA approved fiber pills for Cleveland Steamers?

17
ThePastDays 17 points ago +18 / -1

It's not monkeypox it's an autoimmune blistering disease reaction to the shots. They're trying to hide it by claiming it's a virus.

8
PaigeAshley 8 points ago +8 / -0

I think you're right about that

5
BidenLikesMiners 5 points ago +5 / -0

but even if hes wrong- theyll have the cure to the problem they caused in a few months and sell it to us for a markup!

3
PaigeAshley 3 points ago +3 / -0

Yup!

15
South_Florida_Guy 15 points ago +15 / -0

Most popular product in Washington DC

15
SNRNXS 15 points ago +15 / -0

"The first condom specifically designed to prevent the transmission of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections during anal sex has been approved for sale in the United States"

I thought condoms were supposed to prevent transmissions of ANY STDs in the first place?

5
BidenLikesMiners 5 points ago +5 / -0

inb4 phizer says condoms real efficacy is somewhere around ~10%.

14
StraightWhiteCisMale 14 points ago +14 / -0

The United States of Sodom

13
TommyJarvis 13 points ago +15 / -2

No matter the design, when you pull your dick out there is going to be shit on it. A little, a lot, that's all a crap shoot.

But I bet no matter what you'll smell it.

10
doug2 10 points ago +11 / -1

Hot go on

5
rdvs34283 5 points ago +5 / -0

The voice of experience. LOL

-1
TommyJarvis -1 points ago +2 / -3

No just common sense. Poop comes out from there.

4
Covfefeandcream 4 points ago +4 / -0

No shit?

5
catvideos3 5 points ago +6 / -1

I hate it when it gets in your pisshole and comes out like a play-doh fun factory.

10
Covfefeandcream 10 points ago +10 / -0

What a bad day to know how to read

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
1
BidenLikesMiners 1 point ago +1 / -0

banned for being gay&retarded

3
reagan2024 3 points ago +3 / -0

It's only smellz.

3
TommyJarvis 3 points ago +3 / -0

Dey eet dee poopoo!

1
flashersenpai 1 point ago +1 / -0

Wai ah yu gey???

-11
The_RedWolf -11 points ago +3 / -14

Kink shaming? Mean. Lol

22
deleted 22 points ago +24 / -2
0
kratomlol 0 points ago +1 / -1

What's wrong with fucking your wife in the ass on occasion though?

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
kratomlol 1 point ago +1 / -0

I'm not participating in same sex behaviors or cheating or being immoral, so not sure if that applies.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
-8
The_RedWolf -8 points ago +4 / -12

I generally don't care what other people do willingly to each other in a bedroom. Any time spent thinking about it is a waste of time in my opinion. Same reason I don't give a shit about Malaysia. Doesn't affect me in any way.

If people want to go to hell, that's their problem not mine

2
BidenLikesMiners 2 points ago +3 / -1

"its only animals fucking, dont kink shame, bigot!"

2
Bionic_Unicorn 2 points ago +2 / -0

Then why wash your hands after pooping? Stop doing that. Will you? No. Because its unsanitary and spreads disease. Ever heard of Typhoid Mary? She repeatedly sickened people because she'd touch her ass n not wash her hands. Sodomites are disease vectors. It is not to be tolerated.

5
HebronHammer 5 points ago +5 / -0

Ah yes, the dookie-worm.

2
The_RedWolf 2 points ago +2 / -0

Fuck I laughed take an upvote

10
deleted 10 points ago +11 / -1
9
sustainable_saltmine 9 points ago +9 / -0

Thats an exit not an entrance, faggots

9
NotAnotherNPC 9 points ago +9 / -0

That's not sex. It's ass abuse.

8
UnitedStatesofSmash 8 points ago +8 / -0

I mean.....what the fuck would you change to make it more suitable for buttfucking? It's the most simple object (a piece of latex formed into a donger shaped thing and rolled up into a small circle).

I feel like this is virtue signaling on some level. I'm not a degenerate though, so I have no clue about the ins and outs of buttfucking. 🤷‍♂️

11
imnotdeadyet [S] 11 points ago +11 / -0

Probably think they can charge more for these "special" condoms!

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
3
imnotdeadyet [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

Love the handle. Could change to The Sphinxter!

3
MagicBanana 3 points ago +3 / -0

"Ins and outs" kek

2
catvideos3 2 points ago +2 / -0

The ol’ in out, in out?

2
ParticleCannon 2 points ago +2 / -0

They come in "Extra Extra Small" now

1
doug2 1 point ago +1 / -0

What's a donger

2
UnitedStatesofSmash 2 points ago +2 / -0

Pecker, weiner, dong, schlong, dick, penis, etc.

7
Insanejub 7 points ago +7 / -0

Lol Why the fuck they showing a red ribbon as the stock photo for this article?

14
elcomedian 14 points ago +14 / -0

It’s an AIDS ribbon

19
bubadmt 19 points ago +19 / -0

WHO DOES NOT WANT TO WEAR THE RIBBON?!

1
MapleBaconWaffles 1 point ago +1 / -0

Do I have to wear the ribbon?

2
bubadmt 2 points ago +2 / -0

I GUESS WE WILL JUST HAVE TO TEACH HIM TO WEAR THE RIBBON!

6
MobileDev4Trump 6 points ago +6 / -0

Somewhere out there is a gay guy who had sex with a monkey, gross

5
deleted 5 points ago +5 / -0
6
KAGwave 6 points ago +7 / -1

Instead of lube, it’s coated with anti-psychotic drugs 😂

1
todiwan 1 point ago +1 / -0

I don't get the joke, explain?

1
permissible_missile 1 point ago +1 / -0

World peace in a week

1
todiwan 1 point ago +1 / -0

I'm so confused, lmao.

1
permissible_missile 1 point ago +1 / -0

The joke is that alphabet crew is psychotic

6
plznosteal 6 points ago +6 / -0

So they create and unleash HIV/AIDS and now are gonna cash in again with another "double-dip?" Gotcha. What a bunch of actual fags.

These people are really the wolves to their sheep.

6
RedditStillSucks 6 points ago +6 / -0

I'm pretty sure you can't get pregnant that way anyway....but I'm not a biologist.

6
doug2 6 points ago +6 / -0

Its about aids and sheet

-3
The_RedWolf -3 points ago +1 / -4

Sheet is pretty much why I used a condom when fucking my girl in the ass.

1
spelunking_librator 1 point ago +1 / -0

Everyone knows it's best to go raw, hence downvotes.

5
KekistanPM 5 points ago +5 / -0

What does sex have to do with getting someone pregnant, anyway?

/s

3
Bionic_Unicorn 3 points ago +3 / -0

Not true. Where do you think lawyers come from.

1
RedditStillSucks 1 point ago +1 / -0

Fair Point

6
RusherOfDin 6 points ago +6 / -0

Does this condom somehow prevent bottoms from losing their sphincters and have to start wearing adult diapers after just a few years of being designated boipussy?

3
Ghostberserker69 3 points ago +3 / -0

Depends....

3
imnotdeadyet [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

I would guess the answer to that would be "shit no!"

5
TheBasedFriscoMan 5 points ago +5 / -0

Homos don't wear condoms. That's why we have Monkeypox.

5
lordvon 5 points ago +6 / -1

sodomy condomy

3
rdvs34283 3 points ago +3 / -0

...running to file trademark.

5
Trumpdup4prez 5 points ago +5 / -0

This needs a NSFW label

5
Scumbag-reddit 5 points ago +5 / -0

Isn't that just called a condom?

5
Kek_The_World 5 points ago +5 / -0

Anal sex should not be a thing. How do they keep from destroying their poop chute? I’m going to invest in the company that makes depends because 20 years from now, there are a lot of folks who are going to be depending on them.

5
EvensoAmen 5 points ago +5 / -0

Utterly wicked. Poophole entry is sickening.

4
imnotdeadyet [S] 4 points ago +4 / -0

They use them now. A lot of female porn stars have to wear adult diapers because their sphincter has been destroyed and they can't hold back their feces! I assume the same for Big Mike and Obama!

2
CrankyCrab 2 points ago +2 / -0

My uncle is gay and now that he is an older man (75 years old) he has trouble holding his shit. He can't figure out why this is happening to him. I think he knows, but is in denial.

4
ckover9000 4 points ago +4 / -0

Is this what the IRS is going to use to fuck me in the ass this year?

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
4
Ibimp 4 points ago +4 / -0

That doesn't look like a very effective condom.

4
MajorSkidmark 4 points ago +4 / -0

It should be brown

2
EvensoAmen 2 points ago +2 / -0

Uhhhhh...username checks out

4
Joshua55 4 points ago +4 / -0

Fauci and Gates personally tested it and own the patent.

3
imnotdeadyet [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

Well Gates wife divorced him because of his antics on Pedo Island. Maybe he is a switch hitter!

1
Ghostberserker69 1 point ago +1 / -0

Melinda Gates has a dick, it's a man...

3
imnotdeadyet [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

Well maybe Gates likes it that way!

4
based_trekkie 4 points ago +4 / -0

Why do they obsess about cramming things that expel shit and things that expel piss into things that output shit...

They do not seem to grasp the idea of workable input/ouput

4
imnotdeadyet [S] 4 points ago +4 / -0

Don't forget the gerbil fetching phase!

4
treefork 4 points ago +4 / -0

That doesn't look like an effective condom to me.

3
nickdallaslight 3 points ago +3 / -0

Bill Mitchell's favorite brand

3
BelfordBob 3 points ago +3 / -0

The Boot-edge-edge.

3
mytummyhurts 3 points ago +3 / -0

Fagpox

3
jypsy 3 points ago +3 / -0

haa! GAY!

3
Lowersidecustoms 3 points ago +3 / -0

Omfg. Just make it stop already, I’m not even remotely prude and I’ve seen enough of this shit (no pun intended). Can we go back to the family first, wholesome America we were less than 2 decades ago? That would be so much better.

3
imnotdeadyet [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

You aren't wrong!

3
Rommsey 3 points ago +3 / -0

🤮

3
dagoat4l 3 points ago +3 / -0

So they been telling them condoms for anal sex but they wasn't safe? Them poor gay and some straight women. They should all sue.

2
TheSaltyVet 2 points ago +2 / -0

Monkey Shines!!!!!

2
TheSaltyVet 2 points ago +2 / -0

Ohh shit i got dis!

2
556y308 2 points ago +2 / -0

I feel like they’re expecting us to go “ohhhhhhh this again, hah hah hah nice try Grouchy Fauci” and it be the real thing. We’ll have to see. Either way, no shut downs or any of that shiiieeett. No masks.

2
Snack_Destroyer 2 points ago +2 / -0

Remember the movie Kickboxer where they dipped their gloves in resin, then broken glass? Just saying.

2
Jaunty_Haul 2 points ago +2 / -0

That one seems to have a hole in it.

2
Visceroth 2 points ago +2 / -0

If it worked there wouldn't be a new outbreak of monkeyherps across the globe right now

2
geekesmind 2 points ago +2 / -0

Scampox!

2
CrankyCrab 2 points ago +2 / -0

I read about this awhile back and at first I thought it was from the Babylon Bee.

2
BumpForTrump 2 points ago +2 / -0

Monkeypox, mail-in virus/get injected or fired 2.0

2
RonohWrathmore 2 points ago +2 / -0

Kek + ||| finally some humor

2
tholinz 2 points ago +2 / -0

Wat?

Like anybody’s going to use that

2
imnotdeadyet [S] 2 points ago +2 / -0

Not sure why they put a ribbon on the picture. There is a link to the article.

2
jdog 2 points ago +2 / -0

The FDA just wanted to watch people having butt sex in the trials

1
reagan2024 1 point ago +1 / -0

They didn't just watch. Many of them were paid test participants.