1408
Comments (84)
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27
TheImpossible1 27 points ago +27 / -0

Plot twist, Elon was born female.

9
Here_we_go 9 points ago +9 / -0

Ellonna

5
FreeOrDieNH 5 points ago +5 / -0

Ellen

24
Dereliction 24 points ago +27 / -3

Dems are on the phone with Amber Heard right now.

But seriously, this seems like a bad play by Elon. Yes?

18
Jemmy 18 points ago +18 / -0

If he's innocent as he claims, how is this a bad play?

23
EvJohn 23 points ago +24 / -1

"I'm innocent because you don't know what my cock looks like."

(ring...ring...ring..."Hey Amber, what is unique about Elon's cock?" "Oh, it's got xyz feature. Thanks for asking...")

"Elon's cock has xyz feature. See? I know! Therefore, by his standards of proof, he waggled it at me."

In other words, by Elon's argument, if she can describe his cock, he did it. Dumb spot to put yourself in when that data is available from sources besides direct cock-waggling.

15
Jemmy 15 points ago +15 / -0

Ahh, the Amber Heard comment went over my head, lmao.

6
that_sound 6 points ago +6 / -0

#metoo

1
Jackhererer 1 point ago +1 / -0

Big Mike is Mia. Where's Lady Graham at?

3
Proud_American 3 points ago +3 / -0

I don’t know when they split, but he could have added identifying “marks” since they broke up. Things even amber wouldn’t know would absolutely undermine your theory of why it’s bad to have his position.

5
EvJohn 5 points ago +5 / -0

Believing "Amber" is only Amber Heard and not an example of any woman with whom Elon has been with - at any time (including recently - read since the alleged cock waggling) - might undermine yours.

Embarrassing I have to make this point.

0
Proud_American 0 points ago +1 / -1

Please. You really think the friend can get unknown, intimate details from from a source that isn’t built on hearsay?

No way. Elon is dead on here. Allegations can’t be substantiated and he knows it. Even if they tried to pass off knowledge of “identifying marks,” it would require communication between them that would undermine how that knowledge was acquired.

It’s a dead end for the story tellers.

1
EvJohn 1 point ago +1 / -0

You're right. Because hollering "that's hearsay" in the court of public opinion wins every time.

3
LawNmowermaN 3 points ago +3 / -0

added identifying "marks"

Pence Protocol 2.0: add tally mark tattoos to your tallywacker after each crazy bitch sees your junk, preventing them from colluding about your story.

0
anon2309011 0 points ago +1 / -1

They can just make up anything.

"Hey Elon, we know you have a Prince Albert"

Elon denies.

Still the same situation. Now idiots beg to see his dick.

1
Dereliction 1 point ago +1 / -0

It only takes the Dems to find someone who knows the detail and is willing to pass it along. Like Amber Heard. Then he looks guilty even though he isn't.

0
OGPatriotKing 0 points ago +3 / -3

"innocent" good luck

1
Jemmy 1 point ago +2 / -1

I have no idea what you're trying to say.

6
DrJosephWarren 6 points ago +6 / -0

It does to me, but he's done pretty well without my advice.

3
Judiwont 3 points ago +5 / -2

Why? I don’t like Elon. I’m not a fanboy like most P_W posters. I do think it’s important he calls this out and follows through.

4
Mintap 4 points ago +4 / -0

Sure, but the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

4
EvJohn 4 points ago +4 / -0

Whatever your take on the man himself is (I'm not a fan of transhumanism, electric vehicles, etc.,)...he's sure been amusing me lots recently.

3
utfanx2 3 points ago +3 / -0

Information laundering is plausible.

19
Ex-libtard 19 points ago +19 / -0

A unique cock for a unique man

2
SirPokeSmottington 2 points ago +2 / -0

A unique cock for a unique man

TBH, it's nice never having to worry about an "allegation".

All I gotta do is say... "Describe it".

1
Ex-libtard 1 point ago +1 / -0

That is a quite nice power.

We need cock uuids.

13
FitOfficial 13 points ago +13 / -0

Honestly it's a pretty great line. The fact that he may have no tattoo at all increases the possibility of incorrect answers.

5
DebbieinDallas 5 points ago +5 / -0

That is what I was thinking too. He is setting them up with claiming false descriptions that don’t exist.

7
TrumpingTheStorm 7 points ago +7 / -0

No joke would be a great move for someone who has money to loose like Elon, add some type of marker to the area around your junk and share that info with no one. Great way to avoid situations like this.

1
NullifyAndSecede 1 point ago +1 / -0

As others have pointed out, for this to truly be effective you'd have to add/change features after any partners.

3
TrumpingTheStorm 3 points ago +3 / -0

Why not, start small, do it by yourself with a tattoo gun so there is no 3rd party that would know. As long as your not a degenerate you won’t have to change it much. Could be something as simple as a couple of dots or a single letter.

3
NullifyAndSecede 3 points ago +3 / -0

The smaller it is, the easier it would be to claim that it was not noticed especially in the context of flashing someone.

1
Simple_Question 1 point ago +1 / -0

Yes that is true and I would bet he has unary numeral system like tally marks or binary 1s.

My argument would be who in their right mind would tattoo their dick/sensitive regions and If they did wouldn't they maybe want to go for the straight line for the less pain?

idk im not a doctor. I just see that the richest man is Autistic, super smart, very organized and really good/involved with numbers.

id gamble it.

0
anon2309011 0 points ago +1 / -1

Accuser would just have to lie.

Then its on you to prove they're lying. You gonna post your dick online?

Lets say you do take of a pic of your junk and prove it.

They'll just claim its not your dick.

6
Judiwont 6 points ago +6 / -0

It’s like Michael Jackson

10
TheMadManDidItAgain 10 points ago +10 / -0

Prosecutor : What if I told you that the accusers correctly described Michael's penis to investigators?

Dave Chappelle : Sir, I have never seen Michael's alleged penis, but I bet you that I can describe it all right? Let me guess... there's a head, a shaft, some balls, hair - maybe pressed, permed hair, with glitter sprinkled on it.

Prosecutor : That's correct.

Dave Chappelle : Whoa... how'd I know? Come on dude, I couldn't pick my own penis out of a line up, all right? And me and penis is like this, son.

6
Mintap 6 points ago +6 / -0

Note to self: for future security, tattoo dick

6
deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
5
SuperMagat 5 points ago +5 / -0

He's frontrunning them. Which seems to be the core of his business and personal model. Get out ahead of your competitors and make them run to keep up with you.

Let's take for example, SpaceX vs. Blue Origin. Bezos can talk smack, but he can barely get into orbit. SpaceX is carrying cargo on the reg, for customers, added human transport, shot a car to Mars for fun and is currently deploying a LEO based Internet connectivity game changer.

Bezos gets on TRT loses half his fortune over his mexican neighbor with bolt-ons. Musk? He gets hair implants and now he's leaving a trail of heirs across the landscape and tagging who knows how many Amber Heards on the way.

I think king troll has got this, and trolling the establishment will become an even bigger blood sport going forward. They lack the creativity to respond to it.

2
Au_contrarian 2 points ago +2 / -0

Internet connectivity based on Law Enforcement Officers!

1
SuperMagat 1 point ago +1 / -0

Connectivity is only minutes away, shooting you with data at 2200FPS.

5
catovadreams 5 points ago +5 / -0

These are the statements of a man confident in his innocence.

1
AussieTrumpFan 1 point ago +1 / -0

And engaged in a literal dick measuring contest.

4
CommiesAreFags 4 points ago +5 / -1

Elon has a spaceship tattooed on his dick

1
TrumpingTheStorm 1 point ago +1 / -0

He had his dick turned into a spaceships

4
EagleOverTriumph 4 points ago +4 / -0

It's okay, she'll go through every possible tattoo he could have and after 1,000 guesses she might get it right and the left will be like "oMg ThE tRaUmA mAkEs It HaRd To ReMeMbEr" if your memory is that bad, you probably aren't well enough to be a capable adult.

6
Star_Commander 6 points ago +7 / -1

You know, the thing I can tell you about trauma survivors, REAL trauma survivors is that they remember EVERY fucking detail.

3
Star_Commander 3 points ago +3 / -0

Time to rewatch Down Periscope.

3
JohnDoe81627 3 points ago +3 / -0

Someone recently watched Down Periscope...

3
FakeNametag 3 points ago +3 / -0

He's got a Neuralink implant on his penis that allows it to access Pornhub directly without going through Elon's brain.

2
TrumpAndGodWin 2 points ago +2 / -0

HAL 9000 series penis "I am completely operational, and all my balls are functioning perfectly."

2
OGPatriotKing 2 points ago +2 / -0

I like how they make sure to claim his penis was erect. lul

5
BaldyGull 5 points ago +5 / -0

Elongated

2
TheNightJanitor 2 points ago +3 / -1

$1 says his dick is tattooed like a rocket, and balls like the engine flames

2
becky21k1 2 points ago +8 / -6

They'll say he has a tattoo that says "Elate" on it and it will turn out it really says "Elongate"

3
SuperMagat 3 points ago +3 / -0

Welcome to Jamaica mon, have a nice day.

2
Crappydatum 2 points ago +2 / -0

Came here to tell this joke

2
SuperMagat 2 points ago +2 / -0

I love you too Wendy.

2
T_DforTrump2020 2 points ago +2 / -0

Gotta love the downvotes simply because they remember your username and how you don't agree with everything that is said on here sometimes. I feel like I'm on Reddit again.

-2
becky21k1 -2 points ago +3 / -5

I look at it this way, my fan club there now has a job to do each day, meaning I've created at least as many jobs as Biden actually has.

2
Philhelm 2 points ago +2 / -0

It's 15" long, 8" thick

Last name Almighty, first name is Dick

2
ThomasJackson 2 points ago +2 / -0

Elon Musk is just 2 days away from showing his dick on twitter

2
Jaybone86 2 points ago +2 / -0

That crazy bitch he had the kid with could be feeding the person info. Be careful.

2
HunterG22 2 points ago +2 / -0

You know it's genius if he did. What's my dick tattoo?

Lefty retard: Duuuhhhhhh?

Elon: Piss off.

It's a perfect defense

1
stagolee 1 point ago +1 / -0

Having a dick tattoo, or one right above it, is actually genius for someone in his position who isn’t planning on raping anyone for just this situation.

1
RulerOfFloppyKingdom 1 point ago +1 / -0

I’ll never believe another ‘MeToo’ style accusation ever again.

1
MohaveSkipper 1 point ago +1 / -0

If he does have a tat there, it should be a rocket.

1
RumovaVila 1 point ago +1 / -0

I bet he has Space X tattooed on it 🤣🤟

1
reagan2024 1 point ago +1 / -0

Elon Musk is an autist and is not to be fucked with.

1
GrayManNumber333 1 point ago +1 / -0

Damn. The memes write themselves or there is a deity that really likes dick jokes.

Named Elon

First accused is a woman saw his penis

Every scandal is ______gate.

1
TheMadManDidItAgain 1 point ago +1 / -0

They just want to see Elon's penis. Because everything about the left revolves around genitals.

1
DrJosephWarren 1 point ago +1 / -0

¡Tres Huevos!

1
FreeOrDieNH 1 point ago +1 / -0

Damn. My homebot Musk has got dick scars and dick tattoos? That's wild.

1
liveinliberty 1 point ago +1 / -0

Dick tattoo says, "69420"

1
spuger 1 point ago +1 / -0

Guys the mene potential here...

I dont have a twitter account, but if i did...

I heard elon has a 7.5 inch dong, but its hairy all over, from root to tip. When he whips it out for the ladies, he does that chewbacca sound.

1
KitchenBitch 1 point ago +1 / -0

Is there publicly available Elon dick info? I need to know for investigative purposes.

1
BaldyGull 1 point ago +1 / -0

It is a space shuttle. "This one can be relaunched...all night long".

1
DuesImperator 1 point ago +1 / -0

Maybe it’s tattooed to look like a rocket ship, and his balls tattooed like balls of flames coming out of the base of the rocket!!!

1
Gesirisi 1 point ago +1 / -0

AOC is down there

-6
becky21k1 -6 points ago +1 / -7

So he has a donkey dick?

1
Liberals_R_Idiots 1 point ago +1 / -0

Why you behaving like pervert?

-5
becky21k1 -5 points ago +1 / -6

Do you know what website you're on?