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Comments (126)
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138
TacoBot 138 points ago +138 / -0

"But I don't want to pick fruit"

"Fine, stand next to this open ditch and someone will be right with you and deal with your complaint"

57
ExileOnRedditStreet 57 points ago +57 / -0

And remember that said ditch is already filled with people who didn't want to deal with those kind of complaints.

45
NotAnotherNPC 45 points ago +45 / -0

Almost correct. You dig the ditch first then stand by it.

22
Pissed_American 22 points ago +22 / -0

"hey look he's escaping!" Guard turns to look, gets a shovel to the throat. I never understood why you wouldn't just go for it. Who wants to die dirty and tired just so they can have an unmarked grave to be buried in.

41
BigIronBigIron 41 points ago +41 / -0

Go look at the line of shoeless people getting their balls x-rayed at the airport and you'll have your answer

12
Mamapedia 12 points ago +12 / -0

The wisdom of the ages, right here.

5
Dirk_Diggler 5 points ago +5 / -0

Sounds like a plot for a shitty Seth Rogen film, but in this case it’s reality.

4
Wolfebane84 4 points ago +4 / -0

Why'd you say shitty twice?

16
Side-o-Beef_Curtains 16 points ago +16 / -0

Nature has a way of abundance. For every apex predator there are a thousand extinct creatures. The sad truth is God loves everyone, but the majority of people choose not to matter and live as cud chewing cattle.

12
NotAnotherNPC 12 points ago +12 / -0

100% with you. If you're knowingly being ended.... take em all out with you. Democrats think we'll get on a train peacefully.

5
wiombims 5 points ago +5 / -0

They literally taught you how to shoot an AK so you could, if need be, shoot the other dumb bastard that wouldn't pick the fruit. In SCHOOL. At TEN YEARS OLD. These fantasy marxists are HILARIOUS. They'd take your fruit, can it, and sell half of it overseas and eat the other one at their fancy party dinners. Then they'd beat you within an inch of your fucking life if they caught you stealing some fruit. KEK. I legitimately wish every single marxist the future they deserve.

4
Feral_Frog_Warrior 4 points ago +4 / -0

I think about that all the time. All the people slaughtered by communists, the mass shooter victims, or the passengers on 9/11, why wouldn't you at least fight back?

3
wiombims 3 points ago +3 / -0

Because they kill you one by one as you rise up until the other half sits down because they don't want to be next. The ONLY way out is for everyone to come at them until they run out of bullets. Problem is sometimes they don't run out and they end an entire population. Life's not pretty sometimes.

5
Feral_Frog_Warrior 5 points ago +5 / -0

Still, I'd rather get taken out trying to fight, even if it's hopeless, than be slaughtered cowering in fear. Valhalla isn't going to fill itself.

2
MegoThor 2 points ago +2 / -0

Look at this guy, all shiny and chrome!

4
BigIronBigIron 4 points ago +4 / -0

The ditch needs to be decontaminated with lye. Maybe that could be xir's job.

1
gamexa 1 point ago +1 / -0

Communists sound a lot more efficient about mass executions than the Nazis allegedly were.

98
n4freedom 98 points ago +98 / -0

They actually think they'll get to choose lol

42
Goldsteinbergsky 42 points ago +42 / -0

Yup. They think they'll have full freedom too. Sad part is, the truth of communism is in plain sight but retards still refuse to accept it. Muh NoT rEeEuL cOmMuNiZmZ.

34
ProphetOfKek 34 points ago +34 / -0

It will be different when I’m in charge

-3
wiombims -3 points ago +1 / -4

Truth be told, sometimes it's not so bad. You can be a teacher or whatever, even rise up in the ranks and go on trips abroad or have a luxurious life. You gotta do what they tell you and find ways to make THEM MONEY and maybe they'll give you that. Digging ditches and shit isn't so bad either. You do it, you have kids, they do it, they have kids. Life of the pleb for millenia.

20
BigIronBigIron 20 points ago +20 / -0

The funniest part of this whole thing is that the blue collar professionals would be doling out work assignments for bridge repair or whatever. You know who THEY are, right? People who spend all day welding sheet metal in the sun, and whose necks are red?

13
Pepe1776_ 13 points ago +13 / -0

I saw a similar post where they thought they'd be allowed to own private property like a farm lol

9
Geralt_of_Rivia1 9 points ago +9 / -0

Not only allowed but just given to them

4
wiombims 4 points ago +4 / -0

While I would like to say that's a complete fantasy, it's in fact not. Early on in a lot of the soviet republics, they did hand out generous portions of land. As they ran out, they started shafting people but even then they usually gave them enough to scrape an existence on corn and potatoes in their backyard IF they hauled the water on their backs like burden animals. They didn't want to be responsible for feeding their plebs anymore than they had to. They wanted to be able to say "tough shit, shoulda worked harder ivan". Which, in a twisted way, is kinda fair if you ignore the fact that you let this man/woman inherit 1/8th of an acre in an arid climate where the only thing you can grow is grass and buffalo shit and they need to feed a family of 7 beacause the child mortality is 9 in 10.

10
Side-o-Beef_Curtains 10 points ago +10 / -0

You have to wonder at the mental imagery. Like it's a communist job fair in the highschool gym, but they have to hire you. The lines for "product tester" at Ben and Jerry's ice cream, or Trojan condoms would be long as fuck. Not so many ditch diggers or janitors.

4
Angry 4 points ago +4 / -0

They actually think they'll get to live. LOL

60
jnic815 60 points ago +60 / -0

And they really truly believe that they will get to pick a useless job like that, and get paid for doing so, under an authoritarian communist regime that is willing to kill dissenters.

Completely delusional.

18
Brez 18 points ago +18 / -0

Temporarily embarrassed commissars.

13
BigIronBigIron 13 points ago +13 / -0

Pig butcher? No... How about grease trap cleaner? No... Ballerina? Sorry, I meant unwilling prostitute for Beria waiting in the car over there...

13
America1stAndOnly 13 points ago +13 / -0

Also, notice that... it, wants to be a teacher. Because it assumes that it is so important that everyone needs to here what it has to say.

10
D__1 10 points ago +10 / -0

It wants to show "media" to kids that for some reason it can't right now. Sounds like another pedo teacher.

54
remembercovfefe 54 points ago +54 / -0

Wow what luck! Better than working in the mines.

37
jdog 37 points ago +37 / -0

Very good fate Comrade.

3
wiombims 3 points ago +3 / -0

I wish they'd let us post at least based memes on here. Bauxite.jpg is exactly what you were referencing.

48
BeerAndCope 48 points ago +48 / -0

The correct answer is whatever you are told. That’s the correct answer for everything under communism. Do exactly what you are told without complaint or you and your entire family are killed. The reason these people want communism is because they are mentally ill and have delusions that they would be one of the people giving orders. In reality 99% of leftists would be executed immediately following a communist takeover.

36
_Sully_ 36 points ago +36 / -0

Yep, every single Antifa member would be immediately killed. They don't want a bunch of worthless retards with delusional fantasies getting uppity.

41
MarcusAurelius 41 points ago +41 / -0

In the USSR work is a duty and a matter of honor for every able-bodied citizen, in accordance with the principle: "He who does not work, neither shall he eat".

1936 Soviet Constitution

It is time to go to Siberia comrade, so we may cure you of your bourgeoisie thoughts. Through agricultural work, we will eliminate the harmful elements of society. Do not think of such jobs as becoming an art teacher when there are so many with empty stomachs.

26
Tcrlaf1 26 points ago +26 / -0

Besides, the niece of the local Party Commisar for Fish and Wildlife wants that job. She isn’t qualified for it, but you aren’t related or banging anyone important, so she gets it. Now go pick the damn apples, comrade!

19
BigIronBigIron 19 points ago +19 / -0

To be fair, you're describing Congress in 2022

6
CaptainButthurt 6 points ago +6 / -0

The Bolsheviks here would do the same thing. Probably gulag camps in the Pacific NW or Rockies. Places where there is lots of empty spaces and lots of trees for chopping and mines for digging. Perfect jobs for dissidents working 16 hour days until they die of exhaustion. If they survive they can be executed and the very very lucky ones may just survive.

4
Geralt_of_Rivia1 4 points ago +4 / -0

Yeah, no, you don't treat miners as borderline slaves because miners handle explosives and other dangerous shit

3
wiombims 3 points ago +3 / -0

Those are capitalist miners. Real comrades dig with a pickaxe and the stumps of their bloody finger corns.

4
Geralt_of_Rivia1 4 points ago +4 / -0

Dude with pickaxe vs dude with AK47 is simply a matter of who strikes first.

2
MaoHadOnly1Testicle 2 points ago +2 / -0

Innovation is for lazy capitalists.

Communism is about the working class, so get to work, comrade.

0
CaptainButthurt 0 points ago +1 / -1

So before explosives there were no mines?

1
MarcusAurelius 1 point ago +1 / -0

Pretty much. The truth is that most of these leftists would be either executed or live the rest of their lives in a labor camp, if "Communism" came. The new great leader knows that most of the leftists know how to throw a resolution, that the leftists are probably pissed that Communism hasn't let everyone pursue their dreams of being a twitch streamer in lieu of agricultural or industrial work, and they don't want to be overthrown.

Instead, the leadership looks to assorted dumb brutes to give some power and organization to, and let them terrorize the "harmful bourgeoisie element" and keep the rest of the people in line with casual threats of bodily harm.

2
CaptainButthurt 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yup. Biggest killer of communists is communism historically.

26
Wrexxis780 26 points ago +26 / -0

Your job is "face the wall"

20
Pederella 20 points ago +20 / -0

Rice field fertilizer... as a noun, not a verb.

11
Inquisitor_Corvus 11 points ago +11 / -0

So, commiefornia is allowing humans to be composted as fertilizer.

25
337733 25 points ago +25 / -0

Communism is a choose your own adventure paradise... I had no idea. Yay communism!

24
FelixtheMan 24 points ago +24 / -0

Or maybe you could get the super hot job of concrete pumper over a smoldering hole full of radioactive material at chernobyl and the the government can say only a few people actually died from it after they kill your whole family so they can't tell the story.

2
Junionthepipeline 2 points ago +2 / -0

Probably just back the truck up to the hole now.

1
Geralt_of_Rivia1 1 point ago +2 / -1

Radiation is significantly less harmful than you think it is, plus it dissipates rapidly the further you get away from it. Get 1

21
LesboPregnancyScare 21 points ago +23 / -2

i remember a Twitter thread asking commie women what they would do after communism was implemented. maybe this is the same one, maybe not.

But all the women posted trad-wife stuff. All of them. literally all of them could have exactly what they wanted right now as a trad-wife toa husband in some small town.

  • make coffee for people

  • teach yoga in my at home studio

  • gardening

  • sewing clothes

  • reading to children

  • teach kids how to paint

 

just endless posts like that, all trad-wife stuff.

16
BigIronBigIron 16 points ago +16 / -0

"Shoved into a limo and raped by a member of the inner party" isn't high on the list? Weird. These gals need to read about the USSR.

12
morememesplz 12 points ago +12 / -0

It's not about what they want to do. These idiots think they will get PAID GOOD MONEY for doing these things under communism. They believe the money generated from capitalists like Elon Musk will be spread more generously to them. That's how you know modern commies are dipshits who never read a history book in their life.

11
LesboPregnancyScare 11 points ago +12 / -1

they think their lives will be exactly the same under communism but the only difference is they receive a fat government check every month so they wont have to work to earn money for a living.

4
wiombims 4 points ago +4 / -0

Sometimes, in times of bounty, they'd almost get there. Then they'd devalue your life's savings in a bank crash. Babushka had enough to buy a villa and retire afre 30 years of work now she eats rice and water with no money for heating. Weird how that happens like clockwork!

3
MaoHadOnly1Testicle 3 points ago +3 / -0

Communists don't want to be communists. They want to be capitalists and everyone else to be communists.

2
MaoHadOnly1Testicle 2 points ago +2 / -0

Gotcha covered, fren

link

1
LesboPregnancyScare 1 point ago +2 / -1

thats it, golden. all trad wife shit

19
j2daeww 19 points ago +19 / -0

Hahaha they don’t even understand that they can’t follow their passion under communism

9
PresidentBidet 9 points ago +10 / -1

Passion is nonexistent.

2
wiombims 2 points ago +2 / -0

The passion of the capacity test. KEK

15
NewAnon5522 15 points ago +15 / -0

ooh ooh ooh! I want to be a rebel! That one can be chosen under communist rule right. You know you get in friendly with the local brown shirt invite one of them over to show him something neat then choke him out with some piano wire you pulled from grandmas ol'e upright. Of course in minecraft of course...

8
MrSir 8 points ago +9 / -1

Then you dress them in your clothes and steal theirs.

Look at me, I am the comisar now!

9
Kramit 9 points ago +9 / -0

King in the castle, king in the castle... .I have a chair... Do this, do that

13
Winner45 13 points ago +13 / -0

“Why aren’t you a media art teacher today?”

“How much do you expect to get paid as an art teacher under communism?”

“Don’t you think you should develop this new way of viewing visual media before you start teaching it?”

13
healthy2legs 13 points ago +13 / -0

Imagine how nice it would be to spend all day everyday outdoors in a nice, well kept orchard. Unfortunately, those jobs are not available to Americans.

13
BlitheringIdiot 13 points ago +13 / -0

Alternatively, Please Face Wall.

12
RedditStillSucks 12 points ago +12 / -0

The people who fail under capitalism aren't going to suddenly be useful under communism.

2
CaptainButthurt 2 points ago +2 / -0

Does being a "useful idiot" count?

12
DarthVerminates 12 points ago +12 / -0

If anyone doesnt know; you didnt get to pick your job in socialist countries. My relatives were told to work in factories and a friend was a toll booth operator....

4
Geralt_of_Rivia1 4 points ago +4 / -0

Yep. For instance Cuba has a lot of doctors - they order you to go to med school and then give you two options once you graduate - live off 30 dollars a month in Cuba (not enough to cover your food costs) or go abroad while the Cuban government takes 98.5% of what the foreign country is paying to have that doctor, and you get left with a couple hundred a month and all vital expenses covered.

That is the basis of the Cuban economy

11
tholinz 11 points ago +11 / -0

Everything makes a lot more sense once you realize what most of these idiots believe these political systems to be:

Capitalism - everything that keeps me from having fun

Patriarchy - everything in traditional society I don’t like

Communism - being nice to other people and living my best life while somebody else pays for everything

8
Edinedii 8 points ago +8 / -0

Vigilante Citizen already does that. And Jay Dyers' Hollywood books.

8
thelastlast 8 points ago +8 / -0

these tweets will help us lock away dangerous mentally ill people.

7
thisisatestof2 7 points ago +7 / -0

Comrade, step on board this train to be taken to the finest art school in the mother land.

6
Ryanaissance 6 points ago +6 / -0

Sorry, we have too many people who are only skilled enough to pick fruit. You'll get the wall.

6
Regnad_2720 6 points ago +6 / -0

"Pick fruit"?!

No,no,no,no.

Comrade, you are "picking bricks"! By which I mean pick up bricks from that truck over there and carry them to the semi-skilled former Digital Media Content Expert building the wall around my suburban compound.

6
snifferno 6 points ago +6 / -0

kek

6
monskiactual 6 points ago +6 / -0

I think picking fruit is one of the better jobs. She's going to be working in the bauxite mine

6
Super_Dave 6 points ago +6 / -0

Minus the "sorry"

6
Pederella 6 points ago +6 / -0

Let's check the Pol Pot employment advisory manual to find the ideal position for you....

9
MikeObamasVeineyCock 9 points ago +9 / -0

Wear eyeglasses? You fertilizer. State of being, not occupation.

3
Geralt_of_Rivia1 3 points ago +3 / -0

You know how to use fertilizer? You also become fertilizer.

6
Syme84 6 points ago +6 / -0

Read about Shostakovich if you want to know how art "that doesn't fit" works under communism.

5
eupraxia128 5 points ago +5 / -0

communism is the single greatest crime humans ever committed against other humans.

5
behemoth887 5 points ago +5 / -0

"i'm gonna do this thing that i can already do but then i'd have to actually work for instead of just be handed it in some kind of magic situation that's in my head!" this is what liberals actually believe

5
Lurker6 5 points ago +5 / -0

Except there's no fruit because communists can't create anything so you'll be flogged for not meeting your quota.

5
Formerlurker92 5 points ago +5 / -0

These threads are lol cows every time

5
justwant2beleftalone 5 points ago +5 / -0

These idiots will be the first to be executed when their true communist utopia is achieved. Then their executors will be executed because of the threat they pose to the stability of the system.

Then those executors will be executed...

Then those executors will be executed...

Thats communism folks.

5
malooch 5 points ago +5 / -0

YOU WORK IN BOXITE MINE

4
Dallasguy 4 points ago +4 / -0

That dude is retarded. There ain’t no motherfucking fruit.

4
ChynahIzAzzhole 4 points ago +4 / -0

Idiots... They're delusional to deny the reality of communism.

4
CatsandMoreCats 4 points ago +5 / -1

And the rest of the year (when fruit is not in season) you'll starve

4
Horseradish 4 points ago +4 / -0

Picking fruit is the cushiest job you are likely to get.

3
wiombims 3 points ago +3 / -0

Marxists never heard of the guy breaking rocks with a hammer or unloading a TRAIN CAR OF BRICKS for a loaf of bread. Poor bastards. Their imaginations are as tiny as their hearts.

4
WhoWasThatMaskedMan 4 points ago +4 / -0

Communists don’t want your decadent art.

4
HoganP 4 points ago +4 / -0

Love that cartoon where the guy is all "I'm going to game stream for the cause, Comrade" before they send him off to dig ditches or whatever.

I enjoy the creator space, but it's full of complete fuckwits who think that communism means you do whatever you want and other people make sure you get paid to do it. The rude awakening these people would have if it ever happened would be nuts to see. These are people who have week and month long meltdowns because a game publisher did something they didn't like or someone refused to use someone's pronouns.

The creative types, artists, musicians, etc are among the first to go. And it will be really easy this time because they'll just have to send the drones out to look for piercings and purple hair.

2
crashdaddy [S] 2 points ago +2 / -0

... they'll just have to send the drones out to look for piercings and purple hair.

This has some pretty dank meme potential.

4
TakenusernameA 4 points ago +4 / -0

Fruit Picking sounds like one of the better jobs in a communist society, assuming some retard doesnt outlaw fruit that isnt red because its not communist enough.

3
Pepe1776_ 3 points ago +3 / -0

There's no such thing as money or specialization under communism.

1
wiombims 1 point ago +1 / -0

They allow it to stem complete collapse. You're right, there isn't but .. there is.

3
eupraxia128 3 points ago +3 / -0

In real life they would cut JS's belly open to make sure she didn't steal any rice.

Pol Pot.

3
XDingoX83 3 points ago +3 / -0

Fun fact. One of the reasons why North Korea is in constant famine is because they refuse to use modern agriculture methods. They won’t use modern tools etc etc. This is because it’s cheaper to just send plebs to the fields till they die.

Communism is great right?

3
dr_gonzo 3 points ago +3 / -0

These people are so damn stupid. Creativity and art is completely dependent on FREEDOM. Compare the art that came out of the U.S. to what came out of the USSR in the 20th century. All the movies, TV, rock & roll, novels, fashion etc etc. Yet what was the communist contribution? NADA! As it turns out, creativity is completely stifled when you're not allowed to speak and think FREELY.

Communists are reprehensible. It's an outrage anyone even feels comfortable identifying with that cult ideology openly

1
Geralt_of_Rivia1 1 point ago +1 / -0

Eh, there is some media from the Soviet Union, some art, and so on. It didn't catch on in the US because of anti Russian sentiment. That being said US media was far more prevalent and advanced.

3
arkivx 3 points ago +3 / -0

You'll be dead.

3
ColonelKlink 3 points ago +3 / -0

You gottta do what you gotta do.

3
minotaurbeach 3 points ago +3 / -0

So true.

3
eupraxia128 3 points ago +3 / -0

Why does their profile photo have a black person with Pikachu??? That is appropriate Japanese culture. They should be ashamed.

2
Mungo 2 points ago +2 / -0

Nice