come on guys don't you want to also be a bunch of soulless authoritarian murderers

We're not like you people and we don't want to become like your side. That doesn't mean we don't want you to hang for your crimes. We certainly do. Even just someone that thinks "it's just a little trolling" is subject to the Nuremburg codes. I don't see why they aren't coercing or providing intentional undue duress.

An innocent family member has nothing to do with this.