Do you have any clue how hard it is for a father to get primary custody? In my fight for primary, I was arrested. After the 2nd arrest in 2018 the military refused my re-enlistment. My OCS slot was gone too. It took over a year to get the arrest records sealed. I was arrested a 3rd time (exonerated). Courts still sided with my ex. My past career as a teacher was no longer an option (can't leave this state) where it wouldn't be an issue. I retrained myself during the pandemic and started a career as a network engineer.
Court made me wait a couple of years to start court hearings again. I started court again and was again accused of a crime. That time it didn't result in me getting arrested, but I barely managed to keep my job after the sheriff came in force to serve me with a RO.
I spend my entire salary last year to pay for a lawyer, for the RO, child custody case, to fight off Child Protective Services, and pay for investigators for both parties, because I had to pay most of the fees apart from her lawyer costs.
My ex basically skated on smuggling 46.5 pounds of cocaine in 2004, felony theft against the elderly the week I filed for custody, multiple DV charges, and I couldn't get the family court to listen. The Army's background check failed on the drug smuggling. Had I known I would never have even attempted to date her.
Finally, yesterday they found that my ex was not the person who should have primary and granted me primary custody of my daughter. I can't home school her, but I am sending her to a private Christian school till I can afford to go back and request that.
I now can focus on a 2 more certs and should finally be able to jump to a 6 figure income by the end of the year.
My life has been a series of failures, rarely my fault (injury on deployment during a rescue op that went bad, having a 1SG decide he hated me and charge me with UCMJ that I was faking my injury and managed to beat, and getting a Dear John call from my fiance after waking up from surgery), some my fault (getting the mother of my daughter pregnant) but finally I feel like I had a success for once.
My walk with God is a struggle, I feel like I am the bastard son and would never treat my daughter as I feel I have been treated, but I continue to try to walk with Him.
My name isn't Israel, but it should have been: "For I wrestle with God".
I am grateful I can protect my daughter and can raise her right, even though she will still see her mother regularly.
I probably will never find a wife (too much damage from the past) and have more kids, but I hope to raise her to want to get married to a Christian man early in life and to have a lot of children. We need more people who aren't leftists in this country.
Anyways, just wanted to share.
EDIT: Wow, never thought this would take off. I just wanted to share, because it was such a long and difficult battle. Thank you so much for the kind wishes.
2nd EDIT: Some posts are saying I left out the bad things I did to get arrested those times. I did nothing wrong and they were false charges that were ultimately dismissed. In fact the military has me in a database as a victim of DV. Others at the bottom are saying this is all made up for internet points, here is at least one document showing that I really was a victim.
In fact, the guys in my unit called me "Unicorn" because it was so rare for a guy to be labels as a victim of DV.
You saved your daughter's life by fighting off CPS -- wait until you learn the part they've played in delivering children to others (it will be in the EBS).
Remember a couple of things--don't make hard and fast decisions when you're in a turmoil; remember that each of us is put through things to make us stronger or to learn, things that once you look back at them will start to make sense.
Ease back, appreciate what you've accomplished, what you've survived, and relax, because in not too long from now a wonderful lady is going to walk past. . .
This pede speaks truth.
Being a responsible single dad is an even bigger draw than a wedding ring 🤔
That has not been my experience, but then again I also don’t put myself in situations or places where I would encounter women like that and politely brush off flirting (which is rather easy because I really find most modern women morally repulsive).
I will admit to having a fondness for chaste ladies with a small silver cross and no wedding ring, but at this stage I’m not compromising my children’s inheritance because way too many women wear Christianity as an affectation.
Still reppin that username lol
Hope all is well homie
Peace and Love in Jesus Christ
It’s inevitable though, and has happened many times since the escalator — just too hectic IRL to worry about it yet lol
Most women see a single father who is responsibly bringing up his child as a massive attraction. It shows that he can be reliable, dependable, compassionate, and caring. All of those traits lend themselves to be great boyfriend/husband material.
Life just turned a big corner for this man. I pray that God continues to bless him and reward him with the just fruits of his labor.
I just don't want a train wreck of a woman. The single women at church all seem to have multiple kids. I know in Christ all things are made new, but I don't want the baggage. I dated a single mom and it crashed when she decided to defend her child's bad behavior. It wasn't childish behavior it was well over the line bad.
That was the end of that. Maybe if a good woman without a lot of baggage comes along, but I am going to keep grinding toward bettering myself and my daughter.
That's a good outlook to have.
If and or when the time is right, God will put the right person in your life.
Put your Daughter First and then consider what else God May have in store for you. I've had to do that since my husband passed away when my daughter was nine. Now she is about to turn 18. The time flies. Our relationship with another person can wait until our children are first taken care of. You'll never get that time back. A new relationship takes so much time. Godspeed.
Yes, but it is usually the train wreck women that run toward me. "Oh, you are a good father, help me raise my 4 kids from 5 different dads."
That's the trick. Single dad almost always == responsible. Single mom almost always == irresponsible hoebag. Funny how that works...
Just pray about it. Not all single mothers are like that. I'm one of them.
I will, but like I said, I dated one and couldn't believe she took her child's side over me. All I did was scold him too. Not like I spanked him or anything.
Parents always defend their kids, even when the kid is awful.
No, but I told him firmly knock it off.
I'm also a single dad to a mom who popped off on drugs. It's becoming more common. Leftist ideology has eroded ideas of supportive motherhood and the courts are starting to see it too.
Well, custody court anyways. They won't fucking touch women for child support. My ex-wife owes our daughter $4,000 in back support, hasn't made a payment in a year. They won't even ask her if she has a job, and they want her to give them permission to prosecute her for nonsupport. You think I'm joking? I'm dead fuckin serious.
Anyways, none of that matters.
What matters is you're going to be a great dad and enjoy fatherhood and building a better woman than her mom.
Congrats OP 👏
Won't touch a deadbeat mom, but they'll fuck over any guy in a second.
My cousin married a single dad. The mom did drugs and just left one day and he never saw her again. After a length of time the court awarded him full custody. They've been married for over 10 years and have 2 kids of their own.
Sad isn't it? Men conceded to give women voting rights, etc, but the courts still treat women like the children they often are. So unfortunate, as they are playing with people's lives when it comes to family court.
That was my main concern. I don't want our daughter to turn into her mother.
I am teaching her to manage emotions, not be selfish, and to practice her faith.
Just Pearly Things on YouTube is interesting.
She talks about being a decent woman. Being agreeable. Easy to get along with. No arguing.
Don't have a high body count.
What to look for in a man and how to be the kind of woman who would attract that.
You'll have to preview it first, but the channel is on the right track.
She's also got a Wife School, I believe.
Thanks, subbed to the channel.
Wow. Well said. God Bless you for being a Wonderful Dad. Your daughter is blessed.
Solo dad here of two. Court orders for child support for over a year now. Backdated to like 2019. It’s over 20k now. Not one cent received yet. Whatever. Can’t make her want to support her children.
That really sucks my man.
Sorry we're both sort of hosed by the child support courts.
But at least the judges weren't blind by putting our kids with the parent who actually wants to be there, including support them.
The winds are changing.
And hey, just know that eventually she might get arrested for nonsupport. It happened to my kid's mom once a few years ago. Got a booking photo and everything.
My sons are all in their mid- to late 30's today.
But I got full custody of them in the latter half of the 90's in New York.
Like for you, it was Hell for them and me... But it turned out well in the end.
Although that's the funny thing. There IS no end. My ex will always be there... Their mother...
The one piece of advice I lived by and suggest all others heed: Do not say anything bad about their mother. Even though the things she might be doing seem like evil from Hell, do not speak of those deeds, or her, to your kids. Ever!
That's how you will matter...she will not.
As for finding a partner? A woman worth knowing? Take your time! Do not jump at the first chance. I did, and that mistake cost 8 more years of my life. (I fell for a woman who wound up having hidden her borderline personality disorder. A second round of Hell.)
I learned my lesson. Wife number 3 I dated for 3 years. Learned all her quirks and she mine before committing. 13 years in, we're still fine.
I'll disagree with you about not saying anything negative about their mother. Once they start asking questions about why things happened the way that they did I answer honestly, but they have to be adults. If you shielded them from everything that happened, then they'll be wondering. Especially if they are having issues adjusting to adult life and their own relationships. I can honestly tell them that their mother was a whore and cared only about herself and I wasn't putting up with it.
I disagree, I came from a divorced family and my mother never said a bad word about My father. He never really bothered with us unless he was seeing someone new as a way to impress the new girlfriend.... anyway as I grew up my mother would remind us to call him on his birthday and father's day and every holiday. When I was in my late teens I realized what a piece of shit he was and how hard it had to be for my mother to never say a bad thing and to continue to remind us to reach out to him even though we never heard from him once he got married.
Kids eventually see for themselves and without having my view of my father shaped from what my mother said, she allowed me the opportunity to make my own judgment and realize what a useless person he was. I don't have to worry about asking myself if my views are my own or she lied about him. I know who he was and for that I'll always love and respect my mother.
I have notes and court documents. I have gotten better about not saying anything negative about her mother and I have gotten to where I don't argue on the phone anymore.
Someday, I will take that packet of her texts, court documents, arrest records, police reports, etc and provide it to my daughter. That way when she asks why it didn't work out with her mother, she'll understand without me saying anything.
You should try and wait until she's grown up and is curious about why and what happened to your family. I never said much about my ex around my kids while they were growing up. When they started to ask questions I just answered honestly. Not out of anger or spite, but just in a normal tone of voice. I find it funny that they then go ask their mother further questions and that must be making her feel really uncomfortable.
I'll wait, but it will be when she wants to discuss it, which may be sooner rather than later.
One of my friends didn't find out until adulthood that her dad would write in the memo of the child support checks "money you don't need".
By that time, she had definitely figured out he was a worthless POS.
You must have read my post very quickly. You should go back and read it again and you should be able to realize that I never said that you talk bad about the other parent around your young children is okay.
I did read your post the first time and I stick by what I said. Let the kids figure it out because they will, without you having to say anything bad even if they are true. People like your ex and my father never change.
So when a 30 year old man asked about family history, then you just should let them figure it out for themselves?! I think that you failed at reading comprehension.
You said "adult" ... not 30. Adult to me is early 20s, your definition is 30. My reading comprehension is just fine. It shouldn't take until your 30 to figure out that someone you've known your whole life is trash unless they aren't and the other person doing the telling is just bitter.
Have a good day.
Actually as an old guy, I would recommend that when you are ready that you go to your Dad and ask him what really happened. Then you can query your mother for her side. You sound like a young guy who's ignorant of the world and I'm not saying that as an insult, but its to be expected from any young person. Unless you experience something or are taught something, you wouldn't know. You might be rushing to judgement against your Dad and not even know what really happened.
PS - My Dad died when I was in my early 20s when I needed his advice more than ever, so I had to wing it and learn from my mistakes. I apologize everyday to him for being so stupid and not listening to him when he was alive. Give him a chance and you just might be surprised.
There is a difference between having calm, rational, honest discussions about the other parent's problems and vitriol filled rants and name calling. Kids see everything. They need help dealing with things. They need help with balancing the bad and the fact that person is still their parent they may being trying to love.
This kid was 30 years old when I was asked about what really happened. My divorce was decades ago. How much of a desire to rant about it do you think that I would have? My only feeling of satisfaction is the discomfort that his mother must feel when they go and ask her about it.
My reply was geared towards kids who are still kids trying to understand what the hell is going on. I don't disagree with you if they are adults and asking questions.
Maybe in your case--but I doubt it.
The haul is a lot longer than you realize.
Like I said...it's NEVER over.
The haul pretty much ends when you are far away from your ex and your kids are doing alright. It took a woman telling my son that she didn't see a relationship going anywhere with him because he lived in someone's basement before he started asking questions and quit fighting me. He's 30. My youngest daughter is doing much better but does live far from her mother and I talk to her everyday. My oldest daughter hasn't spoken to me in years, but she lives close to her mother. Two out of three isn't bad in my case. I absolutely hate that my family turned out this way and it did take ten years before I got an apology from my ex that she screwed up, but you have to own what you do. Women don't ever seem to own up to anything. Your relationship is nothing more than a business agreement that she'll just change if she thinks that she'll get a better financial deal. I really hate that I have to say that. Meanwhile, my son is trying to understand women... I told him that he never, ever will.
We're in Texas for the past 20 years.
She's in New York.
They still speak; they still meet up--but only on occasion.
They're close to me. All of them. Very close.
That's because I never dissed her. I let them figure things out on their own.
It never ends...
They can't figure things out unless you tell them the truth. My kids still see their mother on occasion and I always keep my distance. I have less animosity towards her due to the passage of time than my last ex girlfriend, but I don't pull punches anymore and say to them exactly what happened. They deserve to hear the truth.
I had a woman try to explain this to me once. She said, "Women grow up thinking they're going to find this one great love. He'll be everything to her and she'll be everything to him. And no, they don't just get that from the movies. Young girls/women really do want that and the movies & books just reflect it.
"Then, one day, her one great love teaches her a lesson that she never gets over:
That no matter what she does
What she tries to offer
What she looks like
How great she is in bed
or anything else
She will never, ever be enough for him.
He'll always have female 'friends' on the side that she's not supposed to know about
and he will fk other women. Then, when she finds out, he'll tell her that it was just sex and sex means nothing... even though she thought it did.
So, the one thing women want most in life - a man she loves who truly loves her in return and doesn't need any other women for sex or 'friendship' -
is the one thing she can never have.
She will only be told how unrealistic and stupid that is and get an immediate, overwhelming argument about how he should be 'allowed' to spend time with 'female friends' if he wants to because everybody has 'friends.'
He doesn't argue that he wants to spend more time with her. He argues about how much time he can spend with his female 'friends.'
She never forgets this.
And that's why women are crazy.
Epilogue: Women react to this in different ways. Some decide they'll do the same thing as men are free to do and fk their way through life, taking whatever and whoever they want - but women still get emotionally involved through sex until they have so many partners that they can't bond anymore.
Or they start drinking/drugging to kill that bond, and to kill that pain of knowing she'll never have the life she really wants because that's just the way it is.
A whole lot of them get angry and bitter and stay that way for life. We've all seen that. And this is where it comes from. Was she like this at 16? Almost certainly not. But at some point she found out how things really are and now she is angry, bitter, and miserable.
in the worst cases, she will find out how stubborn, angry, nasty, and violent he can get if she dares to interfere with his girlfriends. This is how domestic violence happens. This is how wives get killed. Look again. You'll see it.
Nature has played a cruel trick. Young women want a strong romantic bond that lasts a lifetime, while young men just want to screw their way through life and have The Best of Both Worlds - a comfy wife at home with all the fun of secretly dating on the side - and honestly don't see what's wrong with that as long as they're paying the bills.
Who wins? The one who is strongest and cares the least. That's why it's a man's world.
And that's why women are crazy.
Please remember I'm just the messenger here. Yes, i'm only reporting one side as it was given to me by an actual woman. I looked again, as she suggested I do, and I started seeing it, too.
Yes, I know you have all kinds of stories about how bad women can be to men etc etc. But right now I'm just giving the other side. Use or discard the advice as you like.
But if you look a little closer at the crazy women in your life, and look for that inciting incident where she found out how she'll never be enough to have a man want/need only her for love, sex, and companionship - you'll see it. I'll be very surprised if you don't.
There are many of us who married our one love and saw her as exactly that. The thought of wanting other women on the side is repulsive and alien to me. There is not one point in my life that I ever wanted anything like that, and I know plenty more like me.
Not saying you're wrong about a lot of guys, but the thought that no woman will ever be "enough" is far from the truth if you're looking at a man with character and honor.
If a woman said anything like what you described, the hair on the back of my neck would stand up. That sounds like justification for why they themselves do bad things in a relationship. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, because I've seen it before, but regular guys are not like that. I've witnessed an investment banker that was on the phone to his wife and the match website was up on his computer. I didn't start to whore things up until my 40s, but frankly it is too much work to juggle women for what you get out of all that time and effort. A regular guy who has his needs met at home isn't going to be looking anywhere else. A woman though wants to feel that burst of feel good brain chemistry that only happens at the start of a relationship. I don't know your age, but I would make the assumption that you are young and probably a male feminist. I'm just an old guy on the Internet though.
No, but as long as I am in control, I can handle it. I'm not vengeful, but no longer do I need to rely on her capricious behavior and decisions.
There’s no good answer. Divorce hurts everyone, but it’s especially bad for the kids. You can’t help them by not telling them the bad things and you can’t help them by telling either.
Divorce is truly a lose-lose situation for the kids.
I agree. It is why I stuck with her for 2 years. My body had literal stress sores all over and I was still trying. A doctor finally realized what was going on and told me I was going to die if I didn't escape. I offered to deploy to a combat zone to escape the stress. They gave me a month to sleep on the Army's dime and then I filed for custody. That is when I was arrested and the battle began.
I don't think it is a win for my daughter with this court decision, but I think it definitely prevents my daughter from losing.
Yeah, no good answers to be found - sadly you have to just make the best of a bad situation. I'm 50 years old and sometimes I look back at my parents divorce and the entire rest of my childhood and teenage years and all the misery involved for everyone and it just makes me furious at my mother for leaving - which caused every bit of it to happen.
I still have a hard time letting it go. But I turned my anger into resolve, or at least I try to - by the grace of God.
If they ask and you don't say.. they're also gonna ask the mom. What are the odds the mom will be honest and admit fault. Judging from most western women maybe .001% of them.. that means she's gonna need a villain an that's gonna be you. Now if you continue to not tell them when they ask it's gonna seem an awful lot like you really were guilty. Might as well just be honest with them in the most polite face saving way possible so they can still have a relationship with their mom but allowing your kids to know their mom might have some issues they're working through.
My mom tried to gaslight my brother and I about how horrible my dad was and it was all his fault theyre not together, and it worked until we were teenagers.. Now my brother and I are no contact with her. I'm going on 8 years and my brother about 2.
And through all the gaslighting and my brother and i treating my dad like shit, he was always there and never said a peep bad about my mother. Now though, we all talk shit about her because she is a narcissistic pos. I'm just thankful my dad saw it for what it was and never gave up on us, he's an amazing dad and grandpa.
Congrats on that.
I am pretty good about not bad mouthing her, but the only time I really said anything is when my daughter said she knows I choked her mother. I just said that didn't happen and her mom was lying. Took a few days before she realized it or decided to not bring it up. She is 6 so I am not sure what she decided, but it no longer became an issue.
Just know its going to be a roller coaster ride, just always be there, no matter what and never take anything to heart while theyre young!
Congrats! I definitely am not trying to get back into the dating pool.
I want to switch jobs and continue to live Spartan. I want to open a laundromat near my place and then recycle the income into new stores.
I have a couple of other business ideas, but none as as recession proof as a laundromat. Hopefully when Trump gets in in 2024, I'll have the funds and ability to start those other businesses too.
I want to take the wealth I create and put it to spreading Christianity and America First. I have a friend wanting to start a charter school in the inner-city of Phoenix and provide a Classical Christian education to them there. We think education is one of the ways to change the voting pattern of people in the inner city. He was going to start it next year, but has delayed it, because Hobbs sucks and is making things hard for new charter schools.
Well done! Congrats bro. Same here #GirlDad
Needs a sticky
Thanks mods ❤️🇺🇸
Praise God. Well worth it.
you are blessed pede, great story, you won.
Thank you for saving her.
Girls need a strong, loving Dad. Please give her your time now you have her.
Ever week I drove twice a week over 260 miles through rough traffic so i could spend about 48 hours with her (and about 8 of those hours were driving with her). Factor in sleep and it worked out about 26 hours of time with my daughter.
I literally was on the road 16 hours a week to see my daughter for 26 hours for over 4 years. Only time I missed was 5 trips due to weather, covid, and vehicle issues. I didn't attempt the trip of course when I had charges which worked out about 7 months of the 4 years.
Spending time won't be a problem at all.
Prayers up for you, you have friends here.
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
Congrats on withstanding a rigged system.
This why you have to keep going when you are at your lowest. Way to keep going and dig yourself out. Good job on teaching yourself networking. It's not terribly complicated if you have the right computer background, but some of it can get really hairy if that's not a world you are at all familiar with it. When your daughter grows up and realizes what you've gone through for her, I hope it gives her a feeling of gratitude and strength. Keep fucking going dude.
Also, call/text one of your vetbro friends. Too many people can't find the strength you did. We've got to look out for one another before it's too late.
I called the entire platoon. It kinda was vindication for being pushed out my a female CPT who blamed me for the arrests even though I was exonerated.
Before the deployment with the ODA I had planned on attending SFAS. The injury delayed that, and when I started prepping for it again, I was pushed out. I kinda thing that mental strength I trained to use for SFAS was used in this battle.
It is the one failure in my life that eats at me. Never attending SFAS is my biggest regret in life. I wanted that Green Beret more than anything except my daughter.
Well I'm glad you made it out the other side. I've had my own struggle and while it was different, I'm sure I can relate on some levels. Mental strength is something that is overlooked until it is tested.
Definitely, you have to get very comfortable being uncomfortable.
Great to hear you’ve made it through Hell, sir. I have had a helluva time on a similar ride. Tapped out of 401k’s so that my son can continue to see his sister. The courts can suck a dick- they’ll let child molesting grandpa’s and abusive malicious mothers have full control of our kids including the covid jab shit and beyond.
It doesn’t have to be this way, but it is and I pray that it happens for a reason. For all the lady pedes who just screech ‘incel’ or whatever feminist jingo- this should be applauded for your continued fight. You could have easily went John Wick but stuck to your love of God in fighting to protect yours.
Much love to you, Op and to all here. Wishing you and yours the very best.
My 401k's all went to the arrests. The custody was just me barely managing to pay it.
I bet. Reading your story is bittersweet. It’s amazing to see you get to the red zone with custody. But seeing the rap sheet mom has- makes my battle feel useless in my ability to make change. I haven’t given up as I still go to court to fight to stay in my kids life.
I fell off support for a few months and face incarceration despite being destitute while abundantly being in my daughters life. I have almost 50/50 time but still have to pay ridiculous back support based on income I didn’t have after relocating to be with my daughter after being forcefully separated for a year.
Her mother enjoys the fact it causes pain to my family esp since that witch comes from a family of money. A fake family at that but plays the part of “single mom”. Magistrates are disgusting pieces of shit and deserve the hell they get.
I’ve shared your story with my family and I hope others can find hope in your experiences. A lot of guys on here don’t understand the importance of faith especially in these damning situations. Sometimes it’s all we have. While we struggle with the same issues that straight men in this country face everyday. Thanks again for sharing this and I wish the best to you and your princess. You may still find that queen in your life to join you but the Lord will take care of that in due time.
Keep going, work as hard as you can and try as many side hustles to get the debt paid. Definitely not fair how CS is used by the courts. Good luck.
In a world where there are parents who don't want their own kids, and many who do the unspeakable, I'm glad to have people like you in it.
Don't let one person stop you from being happy in the future, and always remember- the lower you get the more satisfying the good times.
Well done King, sleep well tonight. You've earned it 🙏
Case was on Tuesday, we had a snow day on Wednesday. I drove 4 hours from the court. I arrived home, ate out with my parents to talk about it. Went to bed, and woke up to go to work when I was told snow day. Went back to bed and didn't wake up till after 4pm.
My body needed the sleep to recover.
"My life has been a series of failures," - In the software development world we call success "fail fast" for agile processes.I tell my team to look at it another way. I call it Learn FAST. That is the method of growth. You see God gives us all types of challenges. Some that almost break us, some that do.Being a Jar head myself I become injured by crazy politicians ordering crappy equipment for the Marines. I looked at it for years as yet another failure in my life.
Looking back, I did not know that was the path God needed me to go down for growth.I now see it was all part of his plan. Many a tear along the way. However, growth and many proud moments that I know I stood on my own. With my integrity and also loosing it at the same time. My story while I did not have your challenge is different but yet the same.
I am sure I am not the first one to come up with this - but how I see it. Learn FAST - Fail Achieve Start (again) Transformed (something new) - it works in our business world and it works in our private lives. In other words, you have already been living this way. God gave us a mind to learn, to be curious, to seek his design and plan. Your path while maybe more painful than others, it was made for you.Way to go - keep your head up, the challenge is not done (I have two girls I know).
“The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
Numbers 6: Aaron's Blessing
Probably the most touching post. I will learn that acronym.
Still eats at me that a 3 second window in either direction and I would have been fine. No one else was injured on that rescue op. To this day it eats at me my chance for attending SFAS was taken from me of no fault of my own.
Really happy for you. You persevered and did the right thing in fighting the anti-male system. Have you see the documentary Red Pill? Keep your daughter in Christian school and hopefully homeachool soon. Never govt school. Stay in the Word and find a faithful church that preaches expositionally and believes scripture is authoritative. Stay on the path and watch how God blesses! Your new life for your daughter and you begins today. https://www.wscal.edu/blog/basics-of-the-reformed-faith-jesus-christ-the-covenant-mediator
Evenso...Great link. Riddlebarger, that whole crew, are worthy of the attention of any who wish to follow Christ.
Thanks for the link. I haven't seen it, but I definitely know just how anti-male the system is.
The biggest problem in our society, apart from the lack of Christianity, is the lack of fathers. Growing up in the inner-city with parents who did ministry in the inner-city, I saw the problems that the lack of fathers created.
I think the biggest thing to help the black community would be to make fatherhood a priority.
Protecting that child and raising her the best possible way will be your greatest archivement in life. I wish you the best and a huge family in the future
WOW you did the impossible! Congratulations!
Also, a big big thank you because you are establishing precedent and paving the way for fair treatment of males in this country which will also save a lot of kids.
I was told it was unlikely, I was told it was near impossible. I was told it probably wasn't worth the cost and then only lose. I found a lawyer that was willing to go to war with me. I retreated on every single battle we faced, I felt like Washington. I just hoped that the hearing I could have a Yorktown moment.
I did...I just didn't have the French show up. I was in court alone with my lawyer. The future is now ahead for myself and my daughter.
Amazing. Congratulations. How disgusting that she didn't show up in the end. It shows what your daughter truly meant to her and the hell she would have experienced. Future is bright, papa pede! 😎
You speak of a series of failures. I read about only successes. You attempted a resuce mission that went bad? Just attempting to rescue is a success. And you got your baby girl. You did it. You retrained yourself. It sounds like you have had a lot of very big and serous challenges, but you should hold your head high. Keep her in the private school until you can homeschool. Heal. Find a good woman. They are out there. The Lord wants good for his followers. I'm so happy for you.
It was a success, but a failure for me. Three second window. If I was at a different place 3 seconds in either direction and I would have been fine. Worse, the injury happened a bit before contact and so it wasn't considered caused by the enemy, so I didn't get a Purple Heart. Worst of both worlds.
Should stay as a sticky for a week.
God bless you!
I am happy for you, but I cannot help but notice that you freely mentioned what your ex did, but did not mention what you did.
The court found that what I did was yell at my ex on the phone a few times. Literally spent over an hour having to go through every short coming I have ever had with dealing with my ex.
The court found that every one of my arrests my preponderance of the evidence were based on false accusation.
The Army, even though they pushed me out, declared me a victim of DV. They declared that there was no evidence of me ever abusing my ex. The board was 10 members, 5 military (including JAG, CID, and a military psychologist) and 5 civilians (including psychologists, social workers, and other professionals).
My company called me Unicorn, because it was so rare for a man to be declared a victim of DV.
I'm not saying I was perfect but I sure as hell didn't do anything criminal.
I’m a conservative woman so I don’t have “male experiences” to share, but I do believe the courts are very unfair to many amazing fathers. I have friends and family members, wonderful men, who have struggled for custody against horrible women who should not be mothers. Sadly, we see cases like this all of the time, for both mothers and fathers and the poor children are always torn between the two. I don’t envy your battle, but I’m grateful for your journey, your honorable path and your victory over a crucial battle in your daughters life. I come from a very long line of military family and there is something to be said about service men being the target of horrible women. I’ve seen it first hand with my cousin. We were thick as thieves growing up, inseparable. At 18 he enlisted, 82 airborne, 3 tours and is now contracting. I haven’t spoken to him in nearly 20 yrs because of the woman who sunk her claws into him. He hasn’t spoken to his mom in 13 yrs. There are women who prey on service men and drive a knife between them and their family. This happens SO often. Please stay on guard but ultimately do not close yourself off. There are wonderful, loving, Christian women in the world and you are deserving of love in your life for all of the love you have demonstrated towards your daughter. Walk in love and I pray you find a worthy partner, when you and your daughter are ready. We are all proud of you!
True about the barracks rats, I intentionally didn't date someone around the base and still got caught up in the mess.
That happened to my cousin as well. She was no where near base, they had a chance meeting and then she wrapped her tentacles around him. As a woman I’m disgusted and ashamed of many women. I have a difficult time understanding their mentality, it’s anti-woman if I’m being honest. I feel horrible for the good men who have to weed through such a mess! But good women have a similar battle. We are at a crossroads in humanity and I truly believe we are in a war of good vs evil. It’s important that we find each other and unite in such a time. I suppose that’s why I said to keep up your guard but not closed off. We need to surround ourselves with as many good souls as we can. You’ve experienced first hand some of the evil permeating our world. Draw good people to you, we all need love and support at a time like this! You are a hero to your daughter and to so many of us who face evil in our lives. Thank you for your courage and perseverance, you didn’t quit, that’s powerful!
Went through a similar nightmare nearly 30 years ago in CA.
Along the way, I lost my faith in God and stayed away from women in order to protect my daughter (as well as myself) from crazy-eyed women.
Eventually, I picked a non-crazy-eyes woman to be my wife; rediscovered God; and now have a second child (in a Christian academy).
You have layed a very solid foundation, so It will all fall into place down the road.
Godspeed to you and your child, Pede.
Congratulations, but expect to have the continued harassment by government officials and your ex all because you dared to have children and lose all rights to your privacy or how to raise your family. I was broken by this very situation decades ago. I was careful enough that I wasn't ever arrested, but the human nervous system can only take so much stress before it just breaks and you are never the same afterwards. PTSD can come from more than just getting shot at. I used to have to smuggle my children from place to place just so I wouldn't have the babysitter harassed by my ex. They will grow up and you can tell them the truth about their mother and they'll be shocked if you were a good Dad and managed to hide all of the BS from them. Good luck to you.
Yes, the court investigator said I have definite PTSD, but said that it is managed very well.
I have to go to the VA for counseling for a minimum of 6 months by court order. I'm okay with it.
I’m sorry for your trials, but I’m glad that you’ve triumphed despite them. Don’t give up on having more children. The right woman is a light in the darkness.
You are blessed to be able to ride out that storm. And hopefully you can finally be able to have peace and contentment in your life.
I would love to just have some peace.
I hope so. That is my hope for you.
Thank you, appreciate it.
Congratulations & good for you pede. I wish you and your daughter the best of luck!
Yes, the family court system is an absolute joke and men are treated like hot garbage while women are consider sacred cows that can do no wrong.
Congratulations Pede and good work. I fought for and won custody of my 2 boys when their mom left with another man, then changed her mind and decided she did want to be a mom after all and came after me with a divorce lawyer. I represented myself against her and her idiot lawyer and won. In a Mom state, in a Mom county. It can be done.
Forget all that. Focus on the kid now. Go buy her an ice cream and ask her to share stories about what she likes to imagine. Play catch. Ride a bike. Nothing serious for at least 1 year. Play. Hug her often. Build trust.
Your journey has just begun. Go with God.
The trust was there, it was broken when my ex tried to arrest me at Easter and I didn't see her for 2 months. Her mom convinced her that I choked and hurt mommy. I spent my entire time the last year building trust again. She knows.
For Christmas I had given plasma to be able to save up and buy her a piano.
We are now both learning the piano, never thought I'd be 46 learning the piano.
Brother, I am thankful that God made you and I am thankful that His plan is perfect because it's painful in the details. I'm 43 (widowed) raising two children solo, I come with more baggage than the tsa could screen. Day by day God pours out his goodness, he loves you brother, loves you enough to die for you. I just prayed for you and will continue as I reflect on your story.
I try to remember that this life is one bad night in a hotel compared to the glory of eternity.
Good work pede. Read stuff like this in new posts and try to write them something good. Its nice to see one pinned. Last night there were no new pinned posts on my way over to new posts saw it was filled with tranny pics (typically is early morning on PDW.
LNC PDW was a bust Wednesday. had the same 4 pinned post 6 hours later, went to new posts filled with pictures of trannys and finckles. Then checked back Wednesday evening to see they went and did something like this and totally redeemed themselves. Possibly one of the greatest roll call in PDW pinned history.
BREAKING! WHITE HOUSE ANNOUNCES Air Force One Upgrade https://media.patriots.win/post/NBd0KTXncdA5.jpeg https://patriots.win/p/16aT3ArH8b/breaking--white-house-announces-/c/
Train derailment season. Just trying to keep up https://media.patriots.win/post/PAcp70rRJlYT.jpeg https://patriots.win/p/16aT3ArH4V/just-trying-to-keep-up/c/
Wait for it…. https://twitter.com/i/status/1628500242055454720
https://patriots.win/p/16aT3ArH4S/wait-for-it/c/ , 6. Drink The Pride Water Bigot! https://media.patriots.win/post/j3aLbhN6Jd1g.jpeg https://patriots.win/p/16aT39jQqf/drink-the-pride-water-bigot/c/
Congrats bro! I'm curious what certs are you pursuing?
I can get wrestling with God, I rage at Him at times, but I also know he's shown up in tangible indescribable ways when I needed him most. I do believe the continued pursuit of Him is the answer to all life's problems, but sometimes I want to punch Him in the face for how things go. You'll be in my prayers this morning. Rock on.
So I have A+, Net+, Sec+. I am taking a quick course in advanced Active Directory.
I am currently working on CCNA and then want to get CYSA before the new version comes out.
After that, I'll do some AWS certs probably around the Fall.
That's a lot of width, AD will point you at jobs in the sys admin space, ccna in the networking space, aws in the cloud space and cysa in the cyber space, so which career path are you seeking?
Not exactly sure where I want to focus on yet. I just need a better networking job than the one I have. I absolutely love the staff, but the pay is garbage.
Well just my 2 cents...the biggest money is going to be in cloud and security or cloud security. With that being said highly specialized in networking is also big money, and you can add security to that (so network and security or network security) you broaden yourself and increase your pay more.
Also I am purposely separating cloud and security from cloud security and network and security from network security. There are general security certs like Sec+, CASP+, SSCP, CISSP, etc, and there are cloud security (CCSP) or network security CCNP Security, CCIE Security tracks. You might know all this, but I see people in our field spread out like that, which is probably fine for beginners but long term it's not sustainable, the cost and continuing education requirements of all the different certs gets overbearing and you end up with certs that aren't relevant to your day to day and over time you usually lose that proficiency so the cert becomes meaningless resume fodder.
In the end though, money aside, I recommend sticking with the stuff you enjoy the most, and once you've been in the field a few years pursing leadership track certs is another thing to look at if you want to go the management route instead of the technician/analyst/engineer route.
You'll find the most success, enjoyment, and by extension money in something you enjoy. I hope this helps some. If there was a confidential way to share personal contact info I'd be fine with exchanging emails, but not sure there's a way to do that here.
CISSP is what probably will get, but I can't take it for another 4 years, since I only really have 1 year of documented time in the industry.
I do think I'll focus on Security, because those seem to be the most common for the remote WFH stuff.
I really am a entrepreneur at heart, so I'd like to have local laundromats (near recession proof) till the economy turns and then start one of the businesses I wrote plans for.
Seeing how with driving, plasma donating (gas money) and everything my weeks were 70 plus hours, I don't mind doing work at night. I'll also bring my daughter along to do cleaning and stuff if needed. Some of my best memories of learning to grow was that my mother made us go to a law firm and clean it twice a week so we could make ends meet while my dad was doing ministry in the inner-city of Phoenix on Friday nights trying to save people from the despair that exists in much of the city.
If you've worked IT for the military for 4 years you can justify CISSP if you want to take that challenge now.
I guarantee that will be great memories and bonding with your daughter.
Also, if you want to learn from some great entrepreneurial cyber minds, look up Eric Cole, Ted Demopoulos and John Strand. Lots of free stuff from all three that is excellent material.
Thanks for the tips. I'll look into them.
No, I signed up infantry, broke my foot, and was forced reclassed into water purification. Ended up in an SF Group and tried to reclass and never could get approved, because my S Identifier kept me where I was due to needs of the Army. Found out the only way out was 18 Series, which I wanted anyways, so was going that direction when life happened.
So I don't have the time for CISSP yet.
I am so happy for you. Congratulations! And well done.
I don't have any words to express how this account moved me.
I just want to say if God could voice sentiments like this he could say the first line about humanity.
"Do you have any clue how hard it is for a father to get primary custody?"
Jesus bless and keep you even in the face of such travesty and may you know deep in your soul youry no bastard. You're daughter is so blessed to have a daddy like you.
So true. Satan being the mother of lies and all.
As a Saac son, I appreciate those words.
Keep fighting the way you are; with a strong conviction & humble spirit.
God Bless you. Thank you for putting your Daughter First. I pray you will some day find a woman that is worthy of such a wonderful man that truly loves his daughter and serves God. Your daughter is so blessed to have you as her Father and I pray she will have a wonderful life.