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147
I almost hired a woke developer who told me they couldn't work for a company that didn't have a "diversity and inclusion statement" on their website. I mean, I get it, but it's not like we're making nuclear weapons. We're just building a site that tells people how to make their own sourdough bread.
posted 66 days ago by CerebralPimp 66 days ago by CerebralPimp +147 / -0

:D

43 comments share
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Comments (43)
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▲ 20 ▼
– Ex-libtard 20 points 66 days ago +20 / -0

As a fellow dev, I'm glad you passed. It's really hurt the culture.

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▲ 11 ▼
– Braineack 11 points 66 days ago +11 / -0

Seconded. Young woke devs suck anyway. They can barely write vanilla JavaScript and just use other people's code/components/libraries. Any I've dealt with write hacky code, don't follow best practices, don't have experience/incite, can't deal with customers, and don't write error handling or know how to debug .

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▲ 17 ▼
– Tittysniffy 17 points 66 days ago +17 / -0

I will never ever ever ever hire a woke anything if I have literally any other option.

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▲ 12 ▼
– jimzumaca 12 points 66 days ago +12 / -0

Personal pronouns on a resumé guarantee its gets tossed in the trash.

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▲ 15 ▼
– Wolf_22 15 points 66 days ago +15 / -0

Wait until someone litigates over your default repo branch being named MASTER...

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▲ 8 ▼
– CerebralPimp [S] 8 points 66 days ago +9 / -1

If only they could see the word SLAVE in all caps of any branches under the master :)

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▲ 3 ▼
– shaven_llama 3 points 66 days ago +3 / -0

I’m doing contract work for a company that has an “inclusive language scan” as part of the CI pipeline.

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▲ 4 ▼
– CerebralPimp [S] 4 points 66 days ago +5 / -1

I so want to call bull, but you’re probably right.

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▲ 5 ▼
– shaven_llama 5 points 66 days ago +5 / -0

Oh, it searches for terms like master/slave, whitelist/blacklist, etc. right after the static analyzer runs, this thing fires off.

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▲ 4 ▼
– CerebralPimp [S] 4 points 66 days ago +5 / -1

“Excuse me, human code writer, you seem to have named a variable on the do not use list and I’m going to need you to refactor all of your code after your essay on why “let freedomRing” is a bad name for a variable and may offend others who come across your code in the future or in the present.”

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▲ 9 ▼
– deleted 9 points 66 days ago +9 / -0
▲ 7 ▼
– Clownpepe14 7 points 66 days ago +7 / -0

Only hire christians.

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▲ 5 ▼
– Stolen 5 points 66 days ago +5 / -0

The non LGBTQ Christians. Mainline Churches are compromised except for the Orthodox

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▲ 2 ▼
– GrayManNumber333 2 points 66 days ago +2 / -0

So Christians are incompetent?

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▲ 5 ▼
– MrDonaldTrump 5 points 66 days ago +6 / -1

Because we all know if a company includes it on their website they actually follow it. And, if they don't have it, it means they're automatically the exact opposite. Clowns.

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▲ 4 ▼
– Losferwords 4 points 66 days ago +5 / -1

Bread is racist!

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▲ 4 ▼
– CerebralPimp [S] 4 points 66 days ago +5 / -1

Nah, just white bread 😎

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▲ 0 ▼
– MikeObamasVeineyCock 0 points 66 days ago +3 / -3

HFCS bread is dogshit.

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▲ 1 ▼
– some_random_dude 1 point 66 days ago +1 / -0

HFCS makes anything poison.

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▲ -5 ▼
– SessionsAssKraken -5 points 66 days ago +2 / -7

Ayo why you aint got no pumpernickel?

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▲ 4 ▼
– shaven_llama 4 points 66 days ago +4 / -0

I just took a job at a startup where I’ll be deeply involved in building the dev team. I dread the interviews - I know full well how many wokesters are in the software industry and I really don’t want to build a culture I won’t be happy in.

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▲ 3 ▼
– me-no-likely3 3 points 66 days ago +3 / -0

Just look for pronouns and you’ll know

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▲ 2 ▼
– Watermelons 2 points 66 days ago +2 / -0

Just buy a bunch of rubber ducks.

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▲ 1 ▼
– shaven_llama 1 point 66 days ago +1 / -0

That’ll work.

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▲ 4 ▼
– FreeFire 4 points 66 days ago +5 / -1

Wow. A bullet that missed. . ! Don't want to get stuck with one of those nitwits.

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▲ 4 ▼
– Boruzu 4 points 66 days ago +4 / -0

Nice Dodge. There have been several TikTok videos here in the past week or two about what it might be like to hire somebody as woke as your garbage sack. Typically what might happen is they destroy the moral of the entire department in the company before getting fired.

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▲ 3 ▼
– AuPhalanx 3 points 66 days ago +3 / -0

I chuckled. Cool story, bro. I mean it!

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▲ 2 ▼
– CerebralPimp [S] 2 points 66 days ago +3 / -1

😎

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▲ 3 ▼
– Tookens 3 points 66 days ago +4 / -1

"There's the door. Sorry, I can tell this isn't going to work out".

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▲ 3 ▼
– deleted 3 points 66 days ago +3 / -0
▲ 2 ▼
– Habu 2 points 66 days ago +2 / -0

Nuclear sourdough bread?

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▲ 0 ▼
– CerebralPimp [S] 0 points 66 days ago +1 / -1

Only if it’s from a legitimate mother… land :)

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▲ 2 ▼
– HerbertBailBondsh 2 points 66 days ago +2 / -0

I hope you told them to get the fuck off the property and go suck a black dick.

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▲ 2 ▼
– deleted 2 points 66 days ago +2 / -0
▲ 0 ▼
– CerebralPimp [S] 0 points 66 days ago +1 / -1

It’s too powerful!

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▲ 2 ▼
– slag 2 points 66 days ago +2 / -0

bigot

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▲ 1 ▼
– me-no-likely3 1 point 66 days ago +1 / -0

Hope you told him you don’t hire retards

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▲ 0 ▼
– deleted 0 points 66 days ago +4 / -4
▲ 0 ▼
– CerebralPimp [S] 0 points 66 days ago +1 / -1

The mother dough is a trade secret :D

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▲ 2 ▼
– Capitalism_Fuck_Yeah 2 points 66 days ago +2 / -0

Do you know w a good way to make it? It's costing like $4-5 at Aldi lately...

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▲ 2 ▼
– CerebralPimp [S] 2 points 66 days ago +3 / -1

Honestly you can find any recipe online, BUT what you want is someone who has a very old mother dough they’ve had in their family for years and then build off of that and never let it go bad in your fridge.

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▲ 3 ▼
– Capitalism_Fuck_Yeah 3 points 66 days ago +3 / -0

Oh so the true essence of it is in the bacterial colony.

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▲ 1 ▼
– CerebralPimp [S] 1 point 66 days ago +2 / -1

…that’s pretty much correct!

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