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posted ago by DisgustedByMisleadia +37 / -0

My favorite, from "The Expendables 2"

Chuck Norris was bitten by a king cobra, and after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.

This joke was reportedly chosen by Chuck's wife to write into the script.

Bonus: Chuck reads a list of Chuck Norris jokes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQmPMZeN7JQ

My favorite, from "The Expendables 2" Chuck Norris was bitten by a king cobra, and after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died. This joke was reportedly chosen by Chuck's wife to write into the script. Bonus: Chuck reads a list of Chuck Norris jokes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQmPMZeN7JQ
Comments (9)
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4
BabaYaga 4 points ago +4 / -0

Chuck Norris threw a grenade. It killed 50 people ... and then blew up

3
runonce 3 points ago +3 / -0

Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal had a fight. It ended when Chuck punched Seagal in the stomach and pulled out a cheesecake.

3
FactsOverFeelings 3 points ago +3 / -0

What’s the difference between Chuck Norris and hand sanitizer?

Hand sanitizer kills 99.9% of all bacteria...Chuck Norris kills 100% of anything he wants to!

3
BuffaloReaper94 3 points ago +3 / -0

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris has never cried.

3
waddisme 3 points ago +3 / -0

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

1
DisgustedByMisleadia [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

Anyone can divide by zero. The true feat would be to come up with a valid result. 😃

3
Trump_2020 3 points ago +3 / -0

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

3
Slicer 3 points ago +3 / -0

The bogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

2
patoarch12 2 points ago +2 / -0

Brokeback Mountain actually refers to the pile of dead ninjas in Chuck Norris' back yard.