"BREAKING NEWS ALERT ON THE CATASTROPHIC COVID-19 PANDEMIC CRISIS! There's now been ANOTHER confirmed potential infection! This will bring the state total to 5, as soon as we get confirmation that it's not just a regular case of the flu! We're advising that everyone skip work until this epidemic is under control. Next up, are your elderly parents going to die? We let you know, but the answer is 'probably'. Later, we have a doctor here who agreed to say that you should sell every stock you own and invest it all in toilet paper for some reason."
In MN, one local channel has where you can text VIRUS to some number and get all your COVID-19 updates! They won't be happy until there is no toilet paper in the entire state.
"BREAKING NEWS ALERT ON THE CATASTROPHIC COVID-19 PANDEMIC CRISIS! There's now been ANOTHER confirmed potential infection! This will bring the state total to 5, as soon as we get confirmation that it's not just a regular case of the flu! We're advising that everyone skip work until this epidemic is under control. Next up, are your elderly parents going to die? We let you know, but the answer is 'probably'. Later, we have a doctor here who agreed to say that you should sell every stock you own and invest it all in toilet paper for some reason."
In MN, one local channel has where you can text VIRUS to some number and get all your COVID-19 updates! They won't be happy until there is no toilet paper in the entire state.