Welcome back, Centipedes. It’s time for another Dementia Debate Disaster

After a pump fake presser to take shots at GEOTUS, Bernie said he required more time to prep the buttholes and empty the pockets of his supporters before ultimately being crowned supreme cucklord.

(Be sure to remind Berners and lefties you encounter that just because Bernie sells out, they should not. Come on put those soy boi wrists and fists in the air and do a muh revolution lol…#BernieorTrump #BernieorBust #DemExit)

In yet another sexist and racist Democrat maneuver, Tulsi Gabbard was robbed of her space onstage when the DNC changed the rules to exclude anyone with pock marks greater than 4 cm in depth and 100 in number. Tucker Carlson has reportedly offered her a space inside his hazmat suit.

There will be no studio audience at tonights debate in order to curb the spread of the virus known as communism. You won’t be able to notice at home, since other than the Bloombucks-purchased audience members they’ve never audibly clapped or reacted to the malarkey at all.

Following the CDC’s new social distancing guidelines for Biden public appearances, the podiums will be 6 feet apart to prevent physical attacks.

Trump Curse strikes again as Jorge Ramos stepped down from moderating due to possible COVID-19 exposure. GO BACK TO UNIVISION

Live from the swamp in DC, this is likely the final debate of the 2019 Democrat Primary. Get comfy in your tp forts and gather round with thousands of frens as we enjoy the death throes of the party.

HONK HONK