2309
NYET (media.patriots.win)
posted ago by handpeople +2309 / -0
Comments (143)
sorted by:
224
TampaMAGA 224 points ago +227 / -3

I wouldn’t trust their numbers same for China

96
Bob383 96 points ago +99 / -3

This is what I was thinking. They’re probably just conflating it with the flu.

77
deleted 77 points ago +80 / -3
47
123breadman 47 points ago +48 / -1

Perfectly normal for people to pass out and not wake up in Russia

41
deleted 41 points ago +42 / -1
18
ticl 18 points ago +19 / -1

WEW VLAD

8
NvJohansson 8 points ago +9 / -1

Underrated.

7
BakeRatDotWin 7 points ago +8 / -1

IN SOVIET RUSSIA, FLU CATCHES YOU!!!

5
DrVSGGEOTUSPhD 5 points ago +6 / -1

If your wodka is 210 proof, maybe is find other wodka.

2
deleted 2 points ago +3 / -1
2
MAGAngelo 2 points ago +3 / -1

That’s the spice daddy likes

18
RiverFenix 18 points ago +19 / -1

"He's sleeping"

0
orcwordlaugh 0 points ago +1 / -1

At least they won't have to dress so heavy in the Russian cold if they have a fever.

-6
DeeboIsBack -6 points ago +25 / -31

That's what this is is the flu. It's a hoax. Live your lives.

3
deleted 3 points ago +22 / -19
5
flyover_deplorable 5 points ago +13 / -8

The fact that you are downvoted and he is not is scary. Fortunately it's only -2 now with my upvote.

5
Smokin11 5 points ago +6 / -1

Heheh

0
DeeboIsBack 0 points ago +1 / -1

"You is is a dumbass"

Lol

54
The_Real_DonaldTrump 54 points ago +57 / -3

It's not unreasonable though, the Russians shut their borders to China almost immediately. Also, in the dead of winter, nobody is really going outside anyway, and nobody is going on vacation to Russia either.

17
themightykekfish 17 points ago +18 / -1

I would! Not in winter though.

27
DivvyDivet 27 points ago +27 / -0

What about for your honeymoon?

23
themightykekfish 23 points ago +23 / -0

Da comrade

4
INK10 4 points ago +4 / -0

Yeah, but it would have to be former Soviet Russia. Only thing that gave Bernie a boner during his honeymoon there.

7
Bob383 7 points ago +7 / -0

They do have some amazing historical architecture. Pre-communism though.

6
themightykekfish 6 points ago +6 / -0

Nah i wanna go into the wildlands where the pre-reform Christians live in the mountains.

4
Kek_Johnson 4 points ago +4 / -0

The size of ten Alaskas. Population just slightly larger than Mexico.

0
themightykekfish 0 points ago +1 / -1

why do russians like cities so much

0
Kek_Johnson 0 points ago +1 / -1

Because they kill each other.

1
themightykekfish 1 point ago +1 / -0

Most Russians I've met are pretty cool. They were the ones that got out though... Now SLAVs yeesh don't get me started on Slavs.

Their women are smmmmookin' but all the one's I've met are certifiably nuts.

20
RussianBot2 20 points ago +27 / -7

May be. But there is another thing. Most of Western media belongs to the same Cabal. Russian media don't, totally different Cabal, different agenda.

What if chin-chin virus exists only in media space, what if it's not the real thing?

My stepdaughter is a doc in Siberia, basically next to China, with huge traffic of goods and people back and force, and she is saying there is nothing, no cases at all, and no one knows anyone who has it.

11
Stegosaurus_Soup 11 points ago +15 / -4

I don't know anyone with it or anyone who knows anyone with it either...but better shut down our economy for the sniffles just incase!

4
deleted 4 points ago +6 / -2
5
deleted 5 points ago +5 / -0
5
BakeRatDotWin 5 points ago +5 / -0

i mean, you don't think that anyone would go online and tell lies do you?

3
catbertz 3 points ago +3 / -0

They would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for you damn Pedes!

6
qweerty 6 points ago +6 / -0

They closed their borders early though.

3
DaLaohu 3 points ago +3 / -0

Yeah. They're hiding the numbers because, Why not? It's not all that dangerous and there's no Orange Man to make look bad.

60
_RODNEY_DANGERFIELD_ 60 points ago +63 / -3

What's the old saying...
"Good borders make for good pandemic immunity."

(RIP Rodney Dangerfield)

30
RiverFenix 30 points ago +30 / -0

So There I was at the Border

The Guard Tells me there's some pandemic

I can't go through

I came back a few minutes later in a turban and blackface

carrying an AK!

Honk Honk; He let me right through!

(RIP Rodney Dangerfield)

20
_RODNEY_DANGERFIELD_ 20 points ago +21 / -1

So there I was at the border...
The guard tells me there's some pandemic.
I can't go through.
I come back a few minutes later...
Had on a turban and blackface.
Carrying an AK!
Honk! Honk!
Guard asks, "That you, Justin?"

(RIP Rodney Dangerfield)

13
RiverFenix 13 points ago +13 / -0

I'll accept your refinements

8
_RODNEY_DANGERFIELD_ 8 points ago +9 / -1

Rodney Dangerfield's stand-up style is the wrapping and ribbon on the jokes I post.

99% of the inspiration for those jokes comes from reading other posters comments.

Hat tip is to you, River.

10
VetforTrump 10 points ago +10 / -0

My favorite dangerfield joke. "I don't get no respect...my wife, she says darling...I want to make love in the back seat of the car...will you drive? Hahaha haha still makes me laugh.

7
NvJohansson 7 points ago +7 / -0

Rosie O'Donnell walks into a bar with a duck under her arm, bartender asks who's the pig, Rosie O'Donnell's responds it's not a pig it's a duck, bartender says I know I was talking to the duck.

42
PezzShivers 42 points ago +43 / -1

Lmao

21
Taxation1STheft 21 points ago +22 / -1

They found an effective treatment......leadAK47

11
Basedkekistani2020 11 points ago +11 / -0

7.62x more efficient

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
7
cuckslasher 7 points ago +7 / -0

the treatment is not giving a fuck

33
Muffinman 33 points ago +34 / -1

Unless it's a soviet virus and they engineered to not infect the Soviets.

puts on tin foil hat

32
I_Love_45-70_Gov 32 points ago +34 / -2

Okay, first, they're Russians; Secondly, the Russians are supporting Donald Trump in the 2020 election; and second, they're our friends.., I mean, the Russians are our only hope to re-elect Donald Trump for the U.S. Senate; and first off you lying, dog-faced pony soldier, it's not the China-man Virus, it is called Yellow Fever, Buddy boy.

Get your facts straight, Jackoroo, and first, let's take this malarkey outside because Joepedo is gettin' cold feet, Bucky.

15
IvIA6A 15 points ago +15 / -0

I'm the guy that got it done. I'll take you outside and slap you. Don't be a horses ass

14
Wheredidiputit 14 points ago +14 / -0

look, fat. that makes the most sense of anything and why am I stopping?

8
MikesBigJockstrap 8 points ago +8 / -0

Joepedo runs with his bad boys: Cornflake, Snap, Crackle, Pop, and Captain Crunch. They are waiting outside on their pony dogs in dungarees to dole out justice to any jacks, delinquents, deplorables, or hoodlums spreading any hogwash, baloney, poppycock, or mumbo jumbo.

You can take your sun-bleached leg hairs to the bank, Fat, and challenge the bank teller to a push-up brawl if you think for one second I won't sniff out any hoodwinking attempts.

4
123breadman 4 points ago +4 / -0

You forgot his bad dude, cornpop

1
blumenkraft 1 point ago +2 / -1

Oh dear, that Russiagate stuff. Please, have some respect while on here.

5
RiverFenix 5 points ago +5 / -0

That would give Canadians an unintentional immunity...

So I like this theory.

takes off gas mask and opens the window

3
Independenceforever 3 points ago +3 / -0

needs more vodka

28
Pelviskick 28 points ago +30 / -2

Probably not accurate.

However, that huge part of Russia, the Northern part of Canada, and central Australia are pretty desolate areas with very, very low population densities.

18
RiverFenix 18 points ago +20 / -2

As a Canadian, i can assure you we only leave that space wide open because we're racist...

Oh, I meant to say, because the natives don't really want it. We only build cities/towns in places that were REALLY important to the natives; hence everything built on 'native land'..

Those vast white parts of Canada is just white spray paint to represent the patriarchy. I dunno why Russia does it too..

3
Shroudedf8 3 points ago +3 / -0

I think I detect a smidgen of sarcasm somewhere in your comment.

2
RiverFenix 2 points ago +2 / -0

It takes one [racist] to know one [another racist] ;) lol

3
NvJohansson 3 points ago +3 / -0

90% of Canadians live within 100 miles of the US border. You love us.

2
RiverFenix 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yeah, I was spreading the same stat a few years ago in relation to some other 'issue' at the time..

3
NvJohansson 3 points ago +3 / -0

My brother-in-law who lives with my sister in Montreal once told me that if you drew a straight line between Quebec City and Edmonton, you couldn't fill a soccer stadium with all the people who live north of that line. l don't think he's off by much.

1
RiverFenix 1 point ago +1 / -0

Yeah but that's a stupid line..

Like saying if you draw a line from Portsmouth New Hampshire to Miami Beach, 95% of Americans are to the west of that line. lol it's obviously true...

Edmonton is in Northern Alberta and Quebec City is kinda mid-north Quebec (as far as latitude goes)..

Montreal is at the same latitude as northern California.

15
Independenceforever 15 points ago +15 / -0
  1. Pro-organic food
  2. Took steps to end "homosexual propaganda
  3. feminine women who like masculine men

I look forward to days of warm diplomatic relations and trade with Russia

-3
deleted -3 points ago +1 / -4
14
tsdouglas 14 points ago +15 / -1

In Russia, coronavirus catches you.

2
JudicialDredd 2 points ago +2 / -0

In Soviet Russia, Vodka Virus like real man!

11
latinolizards4trump 11 points ago +12 / -1

Lmao

9
Whoopies_tds 9 points ago +9 / -0

And now for today’s lesson in geometry kiddos.... https://doc.arcgis.com/en/arcgis-online/analyze/find-centroids.htm

(this post is not racist and does not imply that snowflakes studying genders are low IQ even though they are)

6
TheBroodwich 6 points ago +7 / -1

The map is also treating Russia as one entity whereas a lot of other countries are have a polygon for each province/state.

4
TheNatureOfBobo 4 points ago +4 / -0

This post is fine and memeworthy, but that map is pretty shit.

3
Sealith 3 points ago +3 / -0

Kinda surprising they don’t split Russia up given its significantly bigger than both China and the US. I understand they don’t have as many cases but whether there are infections in Moscow, Kaliningrad or freaking Yakutsk is a big difference.

2
Imransgarage 2 points ago +2 / -0

It’s only as good as the raw data so if they report for the country’s only then they only get one dot.

1
almond_activator 1 point ago +1 / -0

There were several cases in Moscow as a result of travel to and from Italy and Iran, last I heard. If the bubble is located around there, it might be hidden by neighboring countries.

I agree, the map is crap.

8
xiao_maga_part2 8 points ago +8 / -0

Maybe vodka stops transmission of the virus? But I wouldn’t know I’m just a Russian bot. beep bop beep

5
LoneStarDangler 5 points ago +5 / -0

25 kopeks has been transfered to your account. For motherland!

4
xiao_maga_part2 4 points ago +4 / -0

аплодисменты

2
PraiseBeToScience 2 points ago +2 / -0

Good thing I'm like 24% Moscow Mules by volume.

7
BestTimeToBAlive 7 points ago +7 / -0

Russia don't play!!

Apparently they put a rule in place last month: if anyone comes back from another country with the virus & gives it to someone else, you get 1 year in jail. If you give it to someone who dies, you get 5 years in jail.

"Yeah, because you'd be in jail"

2
blumenkraft 2 points ago +2 / -0

Not the information I read. If you break quarantine then you get a fine and possibly get forcibly put in quarantine. If you infect someone and they die -- yes, you get 5 years in jail. Theoretically.

6
Andthen 6 points ago +6 / -0

🤣 i agree with tampaMAGA but its still damn funny

4
Brulz_Lulz 4 points ago +4 / -0

Notice how few cases there are in eastern europe vs western europe. I wonder what variable is at work here?

4
Larka 4 points ago +5 / -1

Clearly, having more vodka than blood in your veins makes your body inhospitable to the virus.

4
deleted 4 points ago +6 / -2
4
blumenkraft 4 points ago +4 / -0

Some of you are suggesting Russian govt underrepresents the numbers. Well let me put a counterargument. Have you seen the underground in Moscow or St Pete? Thousands of people pressed together at rush hour. If the Coronavirus DID manifest itself in large quantities, there would be epidemic-scale outbreaks in major cities in Russia. Clearly, that's not the case. Ergo, it's safe to assume that the incidence of Covid-19 in Russia is indeed low.

3
Davdukes4 3 points ago +3 / -0

Now if only Trump managed to purchase Greenland.

1
OhLollyLollyPop 1 point ago +1 / -0

With what money?

3
MythArcana 3 points ago +3 / -0

How's that globalism working out? Right.

3
Cuck-WTF 3 points ago +3 / -0

Russia is gonna be one of the few that does not suffer from this. Not anyone's dog to kick anymore.

The sick man of Asia has returned, and Russia's borders are closed.

3
Choppermagic 3 points ago +3 / -0

Africa? because of their own malaria medicine?

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
3
cccpneveragain 3 points ago +3 / -0

Is it sad I really wish I was riding all of this out in Russia right now?

0
blumenkraft 0 points ago +1 / -1

Yes, it is sad. Even though Russia has good parts (e.g., women are nice), it's still a shithole.

3
cuckslasher 3 points ago +3 / -0

gota love how on instagram everyone id crying and i havent seen a single mention of this cuck virus on russian channels

based as fuck

3
citizenpolitician 3 points ago +3 / -0

yeah that's not possible. Me doth think someone is telling a fib.

2
CaptainChrisPBacon 2 points ago +3 / -1

NYET вирус

2
_-Th0r-_ 2 points ago +2 / -0

Spaceeba

2
_-Th0r-_ 2 points ago +2 / -0

Spaceeba

3
SirPokeSmottington 3 points ago +3 / -0

spasiba in case anyone cares.

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
wonderfreeheromale 2 points ago +2 / -0

Dyatlov 3.6 Roentgen Not Great Not Terrible

2
behemoth887 2 points ago +3 / -1

"if you execute everybody that gets coronavirus then you don't have to report deaths related to coronavirus" - some communist probably

2
remember1776 2 points ago +2 / -0

Also Mongolia. How tf? Their nomadic, long-distance lifestyle is the ultimate 'social distancing'? 🤔

2
BoughtByBloomberg 2 points ago +2 / -0

Russia's population is so sparse along the Chinese border that it probably couldn't cross the cold tundra.

Also cover ups. Lots of cover ups.

2
OhLollyLollyPop 2 points ago +2 / -0

Russia shut the border to China a long time ago when the WuFlu first broke out in China.

1
BoughtByBloomberg 1 point ago +1 / -0

Also Mongolia. Based Mongolia said NOPE shut that shit down. That's like half the Russian border closed by proxy.

2
KekBotSupreme 2 points ago +2 / -0

Bruh...

Kek

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
BurtReynolds 2 points ago +5 / -3

Let's be real, they either aren't testing, or not reporting... its Russia after all.

10
LikeAWombatScorned 10 points ago +10 / -0

Number of cases reported in Russia throughout the day:

08:27: 1
08:42: 0
11:14: 1
11:36: 0
15:23: 1
15:51: 0

4
GreekFreakFan 4 points ago +4 / -0

Little Rocket Man: Doose Russians storre ahr virus prevention strategy! Narrows his eyes but ends up closing them

1
Nikola_S1 1 point ago +1 / -0

No, it's that the virus still did not evolve cold resistance.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
2
redblaine 2 points ago +2 / -0

The virus should have brought a coat.

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
1
deleted 1 point ago +2 / -1
1
ThePopcornTape 1 point ago +1 / -0

How...?

1
MadRussian 1 point ago +2 / -1

Russia would sooner go extinct than publish the numbers.

1
telepathic_pepe 1 point ago +1 / -0

Nyet Cat

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
DisgustedByMisleadia 1 point ago +1 / -0

North Korea doesn't have any COVID-19 cases, either.

Any suspected cases are probably being cured with a bullet.

1
Satellite 1 point ago +1 / -0

Yes comrade, all okay here how are you?

0
Scumbag-reddit 0 points ago +2 / -2

Chinese virus is Russian virus confirmed. Covid-19 colluded with Putin to infect everyone else

0
Birdlawyer85 0 points ago +3 / -3

Russia, similar to China, Saudi Arabia and others, is a shithole ruled by a mafia. That is all, really.

0
AslanFan 0 points ago +1 / -1

I figure they're just not releasing numbers. Hey, WHO, get outta my grill!

0
deleted 0 points ago +1 / -1
0
Barbieblonde 0 points ago +1 / -1

Bold move, they must have a non aggression (infection) pact with China... like they did with Nazi Germany at the beginning of Word War II.

Lets see how it works out for them, Cotton.

0
deleted 0 points ago +1 / -1