I sent my resume directly to the White House.

WHITE HOUSE STAFF APPLICATION FORM:
POSITION APPLIED FOR: Shit Poster
TELEPHONE: 555-776-2323
SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER: Expired
YOUR NAME: Dangerfield, Rodney
ADDRESS: 1212 Elysian Fields, Paradise NV 89169
LEGALLY ELIGIBLE FOR EMPLOYMENT IN THE U.S.A.: Yes
SEEKING PERMANENT POSITION: Yes
ABLE PERFORM DUTIES W/OUT ACCOMMODATIONS: Require booze and broads.
SHIFT WORK: Whenever
OVERTIME: Whatever
DRIVERS LICENSE Yes, with a Fairways Endorsement.
EDUCATION
High School: Yes. Graduated. Voted Most Likely To Underachieve
College/University: Yes. Graduated. Physical Education. Soccer Team, Diving Team.
BUSINESS/TECHNICAL: Entertainer/Restaurateur/Author/Actor/Singer/Photographer.
MILITARY SERVICE: None. Amateur Sniper.
REFERENCES:
NAME: Boombatz, Vinnie / Doctor (contact info avail on request)
NAME: Popanese, Nickie / Lawyer (contact info avail on request)
EMPLOYMENT:
NAME: Silhouette Cafe (contact info avail on request)
NAME: The Jinx (contact info avail on request)
NAME: Aldo's (formerly Vito's, formerly Nunzio's)(contact info un-avail on request)

(RIP Rodney Dangerfield)