I didn't go the transsexual route originally because I didn't want to make changes to my body I could regret later. Heck, I hate tattoos for this reason.
I figured I'd go far enough to make the pain stop. Occasional crossdressing was enough.
Years later, I had a therapist who tried to push me to go farther. That gave me a stronger hit of dysphoria than any other time of my life.
And after I got married and had my second daughter... a lot of the desire just... went away.
I also learned about the idea of Autogynphelia which is taboo in the trans circles. It means a man who gets aroused by the idea of becoming a woman, a sort of fetish. It sounds sick on one hand. But which is easier to deal being a man with a certain fetish than a "woman trapped in a man's body." Okay, so I liked dressing as a woman whereas other men liked redheads with ponytails. Whatever.
Maybe I'm getting older, or maybe its being a father. My sex drive dropped a bit, which brings other problems. But a lot of things I found repulsive about myself just don't bother me as much anymore....
I'm also firmly against same sex marriage. It sends signals to the young people that these infertile relationships offer the same fulfillment in reality as one that can has children. And they just can't. It's a lie to deceive young people. Get the civil unions for the legal stuff, fine. But changing the meaning of marriage to negate the fact that it leads to the optimal reason for marriage? And suppress the votes of millions to do it? Wickedness. I cannot abide that.
Yeah, there's too many people who are too "into" themselves.
About halfway through the whole thing I are more religious and that was also helpful in phasing it down. Some people make it their religion. "I must be trans and that will make everything okay." That's different form: "This is forbidden by the Laws, and my punishment may be great or small, and it may be in the next world or in this one." And kinda realizing there's a lot of little (and not so little) punishments that do result in this one. I'm still paying for them in one way or another.
(Mostly because that since it was my main erotic trigger, I have trouble getting aroused without it, even today. That's a punishment.)
Thanks for sharing. I've never had gender dysphoria so I try to educate myself on the plight these people have, particularly since they want to encroach into other's rights and have access to educating children. Reading about autogynephelia (AGP) was very eye opening, it explained a lot of the fetishization and helped me understand why some people dressed and acted in a way that wasn't particularly female, but more of the blackface version of female that used to be comedic or self-empowering with the crossdressing community. There's definitely a difference between identifying as a woman in a man's body and feeling sexual gratification by being a little girl or wearing girl clothes both in and out of the bedroom. The trans community hates talking about AGP because there's likely a large number of people in their community that can be written off as having AGP, and there seems to be a correlation between AGP and being either too sexualized as a child or outright sexually abused.
Yeah, though drag queens are more the "gay man impersonating women" who really go over-the-top garish. Some trans are like that too, don't get me wrong. Though "supposedly" they aren't. But that depends on who you talk to.
Once when I was still active in the scene I got an outfit from the gap. I went to one of the nightlife clubs in this outfit, which included women's pants and tennis shoes. I was going low-key. One of the trannies confronted me. "Why are you dressed like that? Don't you have a dress? Pantyhose? High heels?"
And I was like: "Real women don't always wear those, why should I?"
You know, it was a gradual thing, really.
I didn't go the transsexual route originally because I didn't want to make changes to my body I could regret later. Heck, I hate tattoos for this reason.
I figured I'd go far enough to make the pain stop. Occasional crossdressing was enough.
Years later, I had a therapist who tried to push me to go farther. That gave me a stronger hit of dysphoria than any other time of my life.
And after I got married and had my second daughter... a lot of the desire just... went away.
I also learned about the idea of Autogynphelia which is taboo in the trans circles. It means a man who gets aroused by the idea of becoming a woman, a sort of fetish. It sounds sick on one hand. But which is easier to deal being a man with a certain fetish than a "woman trapped in a man's body." Okay, so I liked dressing as a woman whereas other men liked redheads with ponytails. Whatever.
Maybe I'm getting older, or maybe its being a father. My sex drive dropped a bit, which brings other problems. But a lot of things I found repulsive about myself just don't bother me as much anymore....
I'm also firmly against same sex marriage. It sends signals to the young people that these infertile relationships offer the same fulfillment in reality as one that can has children. And they just can't. It's a lie to deceive young people. Get the civil unions for the legal stuff, fine. But changing the meaning of marriage to negate the fact that it leads to the optimal reason for marriage? And suppress the votes of millions to do it? Wickedness. I cannot abide that.
Yeah, there's too many people who are too "into" themselves.
About halfway through the whole thing I are more religious and that was also helpful in phasing it down. Some people make it their religion. "I must be trans and that will make everything okay." That's different form: "This is forbidden by the Laws, and my punishment may be great or small, and it may be in the next world or in this one." And kinda realizing there's a lot of little (and not so little) punishments that do result in this one. I'm still paying for them in one way or another.
(Mostly because that since it was my main erotic trigger, I have trouble getting aroused without it, even today. That's a punishment.)
Just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience.
Thanks for sharing. I've never had gender dysphoria so I try to educate myself on the plight these people have, particularly since they want to encroach into other's rights and have access to educating children. Reading about autogynephelia (AGP) was very eye opening, it explained a lot of the fetishization and helped me understand why some people dressed and acted in a way that wasn't particularly female, but more of the blackface version of female that used to be comedic or self-empowering with the crossdressing community. There's definitely a difference between identifying as a woman in a man's body and feeling sexual gratification by being a little girl or wearing girl clothes both in and out of the bedroom. The trans community hates talking about AGP because there's likely a large number of people in their community that can be written off as having AGP, and there seems to be a correlation between AGP and being either too sexualized as a child or outright sexually abused.
Glad to hear you're in a good place.
Yeah, though drag queens are more the "gay man impersonating women" who really go over-the-top garish. Some trans are like that too, don't get me wrong. Though "supposedly" they aren't. But that depends on who you talk to.
Once when I was still active in the scene I got an outfit from the gap. I went to one of the nightlife clubs in this outfit, which included women's pants and tennis shoes. I was going low-key. One of the trannies confronted me. "Why are you dressed like that? Don't you have a dress? Pantyhose? High heels?"
And I was like: "Real women don't always wear those, why should I?"