2017
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139
Pepedom 139 points ago +143 / -4

I'm looking for some indication that this is a mockery... but I can't find any.

How can a grown man have so much soy in his system???

Menopausal women are less emotional than Doughy McDoucheFace....

His wife's bull must work so hard to counteract this disgrace of a man.

51
deleted 51 points ago +51 / -0
39
PurestEvil 39 points ago +39 / -0

As a programmer currently in Germany I am literally positively affected by the virus. I can work at home full time, I save around 3 hours per day moving to office and back and dinner time. I can watch / listen to whatever I want while working, and my productivity is the same - although I needed some initial time to adjust. And for the future I can now evidently make a deal to work from home wherever I want to (some nice rural place far away from people) while getting paid well. Living in a city, especially a big one like this is hollowing out my soul.

I want to go out every day and cut brushes with my 2 machetes... putting in full strength into every swing, and that for half an hour or more. Only few men get the opportunity to do something like that. I want to see the stars at night. I want to be able to step outside whenever I want, on my property.

Alas I am merely slaving away. But opportunities might have opened up for the future.

16
YouKnowWhatItIs87 16 points ago +16 / -0

Take advantage of it since you can! I’m still open, but had to lay off a few folks while we’re busier than ever, but this pandemic has forced me to go into the warehouse everyday and work alongside the rest of my guys (I do eCommerce importing/packing/shipping) but I’m really enjoying it. My manager does 90% of the C.S. And paperwork and she’s just working from home but can easily do 99% of everything from home and just text me with questions of inventory, wholesale order status etc.

I will add, when you cut your bushes with a machete, wear safety glasses for God’s sake. I was doing the same with hedge trimmers a few days ago, and debris flew into my eyes and cut my cornea. Wasn’t out of work, but it’s so annoying having a cut on your eye and no eye Doctor was open willing to write a script for drops to prevent infection, luckily an urgent care place offered to do it, but it’s still annoyingly painful like constant dirt in your eye 24/7. Would not recommend, so from now on, when I’m doing the most benign yard work, I won’t be careless and lazy and make sure to grab a pair of glasses just in case. The cornea does heal super fast so after 3 days and a few prescription eye drops, today it’s finally almost better but it’s one of those injuries that just eats away at you a la Chinese water torture.

8
PurestEvil 8 points ago +8 / -0

You are right. I should get some safety glasses. Even though I did that for ~14 years now, it could still happen. And there are indeed some nasty brushes riddled with thorns.

6
FRONT_TOWARD_LEFT 6 points ago +6 / -0

I am also a programmer who has been working primarily from home for over fifteen years, and we moved to a larger property ten years ago.

Wear eye protection whenever you go out in the yard. You never know when you will see something that you want to take care of immediately. It sounds to me like that will be a rule for you going forward.

I recommend the Gateway Safety UL-Certified StarLite glasses. I got a ten pack in amber off of Amazon for less than $20, and I keep pairs near my doors. They are very comfortable and durable. They are also cheap enough to hand-out to friends or family if you work together outside or go shooting.

I also recommend hearing protection. I bought a pair of 3M Worktunes, and they have great battery life. Only problem is that they don't have a circuit for letting ambient sounds and voices through, but those tend to cost a fortune.

4
PurestEvil 4 points ago +5 / -1

You are right. I should get some safety glasses. Even though I did that for ~14 years now, it could still happen. And there are indeed some nasty brushes riddled with thorns.

8
SemperFree 8 points ago +8 / -0

That is a huge bonus. Corporations need a culture shift that allow employees to work from home. So many jobs can be done from home.

Save time as you said.

Environmentally friendly as it significantly reduces traffic.

5
Southern_Belle 5 points ago +5 / -0

I love it!

This is the kind of new normal I can get behind.

Why commute to an office if you don't have to? It's dangerous being on the roads. You waste time. You spend money.

Working remotely gives you a chance to spend more time with family.

And it helps the environment.

I've worked remotely quite a bit in the past but Corona might just be the thing that makes the paradigm shift permanent.

8
poliphilosophy 8 points ago +8 / -0

I have been a programmer working from home for a decade, the biggest adjustment is having the wife and kids around :D

5
PurestEvil 5 points ago +5 / -0

Yeah, I wish I had these things around too.

3
VetforTrump 3 points ago +3 / -0

Good luck sounds like being free suits you.

2
YouKnowWhatItIs87 2 points ago +2 / -0

Especially now a days when someone can just write a story based off some famous person’s Tweet from the comfort of their own home. I don’t like judging a book by its cover, but this guy does look like a whining bitch so I’m really not shocked, and one day my phone will crash with so many open tabs in the browser cause I have to always look these people up not already knowing who most are. I’m outta touch I guess 😀.

2
womp-womp-twice 2 points ago +2 / -0

Ignorance is bliss when it comes to the Brian Stelters soy boys of this world...

1
Tonightm01 1 point ago +1 / -0

99% of journo work these days is sitting on Trump's twitter. Then complaining when a new tweet pops up.

22
thisguy883 22 points ago +22 / -0

This.

The dude is seriously a bitch.

I've been enjoying this stay at home garbage mainly because I work IT and its been a great time to catch up on vidya and movies.

Plus my bro in law got a sweet computer because his school was closed down, so we've been playing games this whole time.

7
TrudeauIsAsshoe 7 points ago +7 / -0

Those with brains larger than the size of a pea can find productive ways to spend their time indoors. Does it suck that I'm not able to do some of the things I could before all this happened? Of course. But I'm not about to break down like a soy boy just because life's temporarily a little different. And yet, are these not the people who think that the stay at home orders need to be kept in place for even longer?

8
SemperFree 8 points ago +8 / -0

No wonder that the country (half anyway) is in such a sorry state. This is the weakest shit I've read in a long time.

Can we get some testosterone back in the world please?

Him and Cuomo both breaking down, maybe trying to 1 up each other with weakness.

3
Salt-N-Pepe 3 points ago +3 / -0

Nipple barbell curls are painful

2
mintyfresh 2 points ago +2 / -0

I think it's a characteristic of pear-shaped people, but I don't want to come off as a shapist.

2
monk_of_trump 2 points ago +2 / -0

Bottle gourds are my people.

2
cuckslasher 2 points ago +2 / -0

cut my life into pieces

http://s1.webmshare.com/Wxgxq.webm

1
womp-womp-twice 1 point ago +1 / -0

Had to figure how to open webm videos on my phone but it was well worth it 👍