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52
Be3Al2Si6O18 52 points ago +53 / -1

...Is she serious? Over the past four years alone, D&D has been damn near overrun by SJW types, people weirder and more gatekeeper-like than the original basement trolls. Nowadays I can't play or run a game without Captain Edgy McDarkness, Critical Role Ripoff #5822, or Homebrew Magical Girl Furry Fetishist - typically all three at the same table! - making things bizarre or overly political.

Besides, maybe I just want to tell stories about saving the innocent, taking on villainous monsters, and winning the day, all in a high-magic fantasy setting, without involving modern politics in any way, shape, or form.

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CisSiberianOrchestra [S] 46 points ago +46 / -0

Lately a few social justice types have been pushing the idea that D&D is racist because orcs are a common enemy in the game. Orcs are violent, not very smart, and usually evil. So apprently orcs are supposed to be a stand-in for minorities or something.

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Be3Al2Si6O18 36 points ago +36 / -0

LOL, they are the ones going there, not you. That makes them the racists. How dare they, with all their human privilege, denigrate such a stunning and brave race? #OrcLivesMatter

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deleted 17 points ago +17 / -0
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deleted 9 points ago +9 / -0
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deleted 10 points ago +10 / -0
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deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0
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Emperorvoid 1 point ago +1 / -0

ORC LIVES MATTER!

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45fan 12 points ago +12 / -0

Did you that orcs are 13% of the Faerun population and are responsible for ...

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ColbyP 9 points ago +9 / -0

But the orks in DnD are just based off of Tolkien-esque traditional fantasy orks. Their entire purpose is to be a generic evil humanoid that you don't have to morally justify killing because they're evil monsters by default.

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just-a-pleb 4 points ago +4 / -0

But Orcs are literally evil, their alignment is evil...

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Throwawaycuzmeh 2 points ago +3 / -1

Meanwhile, there are black and brown humans already in the game...

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Scooby721 19 points ago +19 / -0

I don't know if this helps, but my group and I play under the massive Trump flag hanging in my living room.

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REDorDEAD2020 6 points ago +6 / -0

Wish I could join your game!

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TheDespotofCartoons 6 points ago +6 / -0

And my axe!

Wait, something's amiss...

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ryvrdrgn14 11 points ago +11 / -0

Sad to hear. I just played it with friends back then. Some of them were weird as fuck, but we still got along at the end of the day.

And no, we had no furries.

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Be3Al2Si6O18 8 points ago +8 / -0

My friends are weird as fuck too, but back in the early days, nobody had to say "Leave your politics and your dirty laundry at the door" - it was understood that you were there to hang out, roll dice, and fight monsters. Now, thanks to everything becoming an exercise in making realities into fantasies, more people I try to introduce to the game seem to lack basic courtesy than those new players from the past.

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TheDespotofCartoons 4 points ago +4 / -0

We should start our own post-to-play campaign! I still have my 3.5 books (I refuse to upgrade).

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deleted 34 points ago +35 / -1
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lerm4comptroller 14 points ago +14 / -0

OT nerd talk time:

I always thought of lawful evil as the "objective evil" of that compass, as a chaotic evil character was generally more driven by personal motives or lack of empathy than just outright EVIL. Trying to take over the kingdom so you can become a wealthy tyrant is bad, but taking over the kingdom so you can summon Cthulhu and sacrifice all life to his unending glory seems worse.

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deleted 15 points ago +15 / -0
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deleted 11 points ago +11 / -0
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TheDespotofCartoons 3 points ago +3 / -0

Eggs-actly! :P

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deleted 11 points ago +11 / -0
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45fan 4 points ago +4 / -0

"Beholders might turn people to stone, but they're just trying to live their best life!"

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just-a-pleb 4 points ago +4 / -0

I think leftists might be beholders.

Narcissistic and want to control everything, and anything that doesn't serve them must be destroyed....

Damn, they're literal beholders.

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GGJanitor 27 points ago +27 / -0

So sick of these SJW hargravens

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rasulatab 5 points ago +5 / -0

Just Wait until you see their gender-alignment chart...

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1st_Covfefe 4 points ago +8 / -4

I just imagine them naked and laugh at them now. I fuck them in the mouth to shut them up if they keep yammering.

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GenericInsult 20 points ago +21 / -1

Leftists literally have to ruin everything.

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45fan 10 points ago +10 / -0

"I'd just like to say during our character creation that I think gender is an outdated concept and I hope to see it gone from this and society soon."

Yes, yes I was told this by a leftist.

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ColbyP 7 points ago +7 / -0

Which is such a stupid thing to even bring up, because gender is mechanically irrelevant in every possible way in DnD. The rules literally couldn't care less if you left the spot blank or not. It's just for you to customize your character to fit what you want to play.

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just-a-pleb 3 points ago +3 / -0

Ewwww.

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Vegans4Trump 6 points ago +6 / -0

leftists are the new church ladies.

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Rob_Belmonte 18 points ago +18 / -0

... in the D&D group I occasionally play with, literally everyone but me is some form of liberal. I'm probably the only conservative, NRA-supporting, card-carrying Republican in the group.

How the hell do they arrive at this kind of conclusion?

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Scooby721 21 points ago +21 / -0

In the group I run, one of the players has a spell that creates a brick wall 12 ft high by 60 ft long. Its the favored spell of the whole group.

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TrumpBrickBot 11 points ago +11 / -0

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET THIS PATRIOT A BRICK! THAT'S 168413 BRICKS HANDED OUT!

We are at 23.7207524631202889024535904% of our goal to BUILD THE WALL starting from Imperial Beach, CA to Brownsville, Texas! Let's make sure everyone gets a brick in the United States! For every Centipede a brick, for every brick a Centipede!

At this rate, the wall will be 1851.87674204167314840169156 MILES WIDE and 493.541710017988551977703261 FEET HIGH by tomorrow! DO YOUR PART!

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ca18det 12 points ago +12 / -0

Tabletop as a whole is now a SJW stronghold. They use it as a base of forward operations to attack video games as well. Not into tabletop much but watching them get their claws into even Warhammer of all things tells me there is no safe haven. They will spread like cancer until they infect every "nerd" hobby. At least they stay away from motorcycles and firearms.

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RosieODonald 4 points ago +4 / -0

All the people I know who do tabletop are super liberal.

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Labyrinth9000 6 points ago +6 / -0

Where are the rest of guys like you?? Our entertainment is being fucked by communist sjws.

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Rob_Belmonte 6 points ago +6 / -0

Like me, they probably know how to read the room and don't want to ruin a fun night of beer and D&D just because the other players are trashing on Trump.

As a side note, I've seen a lot of liberal players role-play as religious or sometimes "conservative" style characters. Not sure about the implication, but it's interesting to watch.

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TheDespotofCartoons 5 points ago +5 / -0

I'm kinda at the opposite end of that. I've been excluded from my friends' group (not for political reasons, thankfully), but I really don't feel too badly because I'm the only conservative, and I'm perfectly fine with not having to hear every variant upon the theme of "Orange Man Bad."

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Brevityamongstchaos 17 points ago +19 / -2

"I don't know who needs to hear this" is the equivalent of "I think with my sphincter and if you don't agree then you should be killed."

Don't ever listen if someone that tells you "why" you should think like they do. If they make a valid point, it will stand on it's own merit.

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Ekgamut 11 points ago +11 / -0

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but Trump will win the reelection.

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Brevityamongstchaos 5 points ago +6 / -1

There are certain posts/replies that I wish I could upvote more than once. This is one of them. I second that comment!

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Paradisio 14 points ago +15 / -1

Church ladies were the original Karens. No disrespect to Christian ladies that can think.

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CisSiberianOrchestra [S] 18 points ago +18 / -0

I'd say Tipper Gore was the proto-Karen when she was lobbying in favor of music censorship.

BTW, if you've never seen it, look up the video of Dee Snider from Twisted Sister testifying before congress. He basically accuses Tipper of having a dirty mind because of how she chose to interpret his lyrics. Al Gore looked pissed. It was great.

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stepping_razor123 10 points ago +10 / -0

That's right we had that attempted censorship phase. It involved rap music too. I used to watch football and I like the end zone dances that some of the brothers did, the Icky Shuffle was a famous one that comes to mind, it was good entertainment. But the No Fun League banned all that stuff and over time I lost interest.

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Choctaw 6 points ago +6 / -0

hah, yah, that was good

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Rob_Belmonte 10 points ago +10 / -0

"Harry Potter is the devil!"

Actually it's just a poorly-written Child's fantasy by an egotistical SJW.

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Wess-mantooth 12 points ago +12 / -0

So fuck off and make up your own fantasy reality nerd, keep your hands off of our good shit!

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deleted 12 points ago +12 / -0
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GunRat 7 points ago +7 / -0

They can't. That's why everything is being "remade, but with black lesbian women!" these days.

NPC's are incapable of original ideas and the ones who actually do go out and make their original concepts (good on them for trying) usually flop.

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Wess-mantooth 4 points ago +4 / -0

Lol, only protagonists can meme

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TheSwiftPepe 8 points ago +10 / -2

Feminist furries are a thing now? Every day we stray further from God's light.

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stepping_razor123 8 points ago +8 / -0

I've witnessed society slide downhill fast since the 1980s. Church ladies were probably right.

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Ekgamut 3 points ago +4 / -1

Yes and no. Without commies, the church ladies will be wrong.

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Rockmanneo 6 points ago +6 / -0

The left is the pearl-clutchers of yesteryears.

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RussianLimbaugh 6 points ago +6 / -0

It makes sense to me. If it were a left-wing commie game the DM would decide that everyone is a Half Elf, nobody can have a familiar, arrows have to be redistributed before each roll, all gold goes to the DM so they can decide when/if players spend it, a majority vote decides what each person’s task is, everybody dies, & no one has fun.

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Be3Al2Si6O18 5 points ago +5 / -0

Nope. Worse than that. If it's a left-wing commie game:

  • Every player is some non-human in-game race, with several monsters thrown in, most of them being homebrew, all for the sake of diversity and everyone being their own special snowflake. If anyone does dare to play as a human, they're gay by default.
  • Each of those characters has some tragic backstory and some flavor of psychological trauma - anything from being transfigured into their current race, to alcoholism or drug dependency, or the loss or murder of someone close to them, or all three if you're really batting a thousand - because it's commonly understood that tragedy == depth.
  • Each player spends approximately 20 minutes in-session detailing their dark and tragic backstories, with a couple of characters meekly chiming in to pretend there's some development therein, despite session after session of the same nonsense resulting in no character development whatsoever.
  • Oh wait, that's right, there's actually a game to play! whereby the DM spends what little money he makes on elaborate dioramas and miniatures and settings for the players to barely interact with in between lamentations. For one combat. With a monster miniature the DM purchased just for that session. So the wizard with daddy issues could fireball it once and be done with it so the other characters can go lament at the non-player characters the DM doesn't want killed right away.
  • Occasionally in the middle of all the lamenting someone actually starts crying. Hugs are had all around.
  • Any newcomer invited to the game for a "guest appearance" is immediately perturbed by all the grossly personal and sexual questions that are suddenly being asked of his human champion fighter and acolyte of Pholtus. At some point he scores a critical hit against a goblin (one of the other character's distant cousins) and the DM rejects it out of hand.
  • After two years of this, two of the players will have their characters fall in love, resulting in an awkward attempt at romance followed by an explosive destruction of the table, whereby the group will scream at each other about how bad the others are at lamenting and how nobody has any fun.
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Regnad_2720 4 points ago +4 / -0

I'd make some popcorn and watch this if I did not have to be in the same room.

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RussianLimbaugh 3 points ago +3 / -0

Hahaha! You’ve nailed it.

So the wizard with daddy issues could fireball it once and be done with it so the other characters can go lament at the non-player characters the DM doesn't want killed right away.

If you were the writer, I would watch the shit out of a web-series on this. You could call it Progressive DnD: Diverse n’ Disabled.

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Be3Al2Si6O18 2 points ago +2 / -0

Hmm... Yeah, I'd be down.

  • Episode 1: The Newcomer is introduced to the group. No one actually plays the game as everyone spends the entirety of the session introducing their characters/lamenting. The Newcomer disappoints the group with his straightforward character and 30-second elevator pitch introduction; the group concludes that his character is a closeted homosexual and invites him to the next session anyway.
  • Episode 2: Next Session. After an hour of lamentation (during which the largest blue-haired member of the group horks down most of the pizza), a combat breaks out between the party and a goblin horde. The party tries to RP through the scenario while the Newcomer slays most of the monsters, including getting a few crits denied owing to DM bullshitting. The Newcomer leaves one goblin alive to the satisfaction of the "positive, roleplay-focused" party... who then mercilessly torture the goblin.
  • Episode 3: Cosplay Session. Everyone but the Newcomer shows up in costumes representing their character, much to the horror of the viewing audience. The DM proposes a "LARP" component for this session's combat, with himself dressed in an elaborate monster costume he spent months preparing. Owing to shenanigans involving a dildo being used as a cleric's spiritual weapon and the wizard using a lighter and aerosol to produce his fireball, the session ends with medical, police, and fire department intervention.
  • Episode 4: Romance. Two of the players involved in the dildo incident make their characters fall in love as they openly, in the middle of the session, begin exploring their own attraction to each other. The Newcomer gets hit on by an envious member of the party, both in-game and out-of-game, and has to politely reject her. The party then turns on that member for her heteronormativity ("...Hetero-what?") and kicks her out of the group.
  • Episode 5: The Falling Out. A careless word from the Newcomer starts a major argument, whereby the DM, the dildo couple, and other members get into a shouting match over the shortcomings of their game; incidentally, the Newcomer isn't mentioned once throughout the entire debacle. The fight concludes with the fattest girl (one of the dildo couple) body-slamming the DM into the table, breaking it clean in half.
  • Episode 6: After the Campaign. We check in on the members of the party. The DM is paralyzed from the waist down and has developed a nervous tick whereby he shits himself when he sees large spherical objects or creatures (such as a beholder). The dildo couple is no more, with the fat girl attending regular therapy sessions and the other getting a job as a barista across town. Other members get their due on-screen, concluding with the Newcomer, who joined a new group of normal people.
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RuccusRob 6 points ago +6 / -0

Only difference here is those church ladies were exposed to something actually strange to them. SJWs criticize things to get creative control over it, and ruin it.

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Be3Al2Si6O18 9 points ago +9 / -0

This. The media fed into it as much as the poor faithful who didn't really know any better.

Introduce any church lady to the possibility of them playing as a paladin destined to strike down Baphomet and his legions of demons, and she'd exchange the pearls she's clutching for a handful of d8's so she can smite to her heart's content.

Introduce a SJW to that idea, and they'd dither: "Yeah, but, like, what if I was a paladin of Baphomet, though?? And I, like, wasn't sure if I wanted to join him?? Because I was a tiefling?? But I still wanted to help my party though??" The church lady would kick the shit out of that little dweeb faster than you could say "Deus Vult".

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Choctaw 5 points ago +5 / -0

akkad daily had a episode about how orcs are waycis

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deleted 5 points ago +6 / -1
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HiddenDekuScrub 4 points ago +4 / -0

Please tell me nobody takes the furry seriously....

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45fan 4 points ago +4 / -0

AKA "White kids play this game"

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deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
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shadle2001 3 points ago +3 / -0

So that's what made me a conservative, I've always wondered!

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Ekgamut 3 points ago +3 / -0

Pearl clutchers and the left are the same. Both are moralfags.

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Ironlabel 3 points ago +3 / -0

I fucking wish. You know how hard it is to find good D&D players that have stable jobs and a income. I only know of three. The ones I play with. Unfortunately the average D&D and magic player is a sweaty in clean overweight man baby. Who can’t hold a steady job or has a low entry position and bitches all the time.

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Yucky 2 points ago +2 / -0

Technically, some people do apply paint to their lead and pewter figurines.

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Destineed369 1 point ago +1 / -0

Who the fuck would need to hear this lol.