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229
jughaid 229 points ago +229 / -0

It's only because Biden does so well on-camera.....

172
MaxineWaters4Prez 172 points ago +173 / -1

He has a 98% chance of beating Trump in November, followed by Buttigieg with 94%, Warren with 91%, Sanders with 88%, and an inanimate carbon rod with 83%... According to polls the democrats over sampled +22 then adjusted the results for fee fees.

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PROCIsAsshoe 117 points ago +118 / -1

Jeb! surge 2020 watch out for the dark turtle candidate!!!

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Wuzizname 53 points ago +53 / -0

GUAC BOWLS RAIN FROM THE SKY!

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Modus_Pwninz 27 points ago +27 / -0

Please ritualistically clap, as is custom.

Ooommmmmmolayyyyy

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deleted 10 points ago +10 / -0
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CharethCutestory 3 points ago +3 / -0

🤣 I forgot about the guac bowls. Might be better than “please clap,” probably not, but really close second.

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SPEZ_CUPS_CCP_BALLS 9 points ago +9 / -0

How does he keep doing it?!?!

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PROCIsAsshoe 10 points ago +10 / -0

Given that most entertainment venues remain closed, it remains a mystery where Jeb! is harnessing his clapping derived energy from. It's possible that he's tripled his guac intake and increased the frequency of pep talks from the strongest woman he knows!

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MisterClinton 3 points ago +3 / -0

SLOW and STEADY wins the race!

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QueenMAGA 50 points ago +50 / -0

I pray this backfired bigly on the dems and all their lazy supporters dont vote cuz they're afraid of corona and it's all too complicated for them

Meanwhile all the patriotic and fearless Americans show up in masses to vote for GEOTUS! 😁🇺🇲

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DonAtari 40 points ago +40 / -0

The way they are setting it up, their voters won't even need to vote.

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deleted 29 points ago +29 / -0
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Capitalism_Fuck_Yeah 12 points ago +12 / -0

Flaming rocks falling from the sky wouldn't stop me from voting. I could see dems avoiding public places for all year long not trusting when Trump says its OK to leave your homes.

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IroWide 14 points ago +14 / -0

10/10 would shoot my way to the polls if needed. I will not be denied my vote for the greatest President to occupy the White House in centuries.

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SPEZ_CUPS_CCP_BALLS 10 points ago +10 / -0

Would crawl over broken glass on my dick to vote for Trump

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Txponi 8 points ago +8 / -0

Why don't we set up the voting booths at Walmart or Home Depot or your local grocery store if it is Sooooo scary. Those are safe spaces aren't they?

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NocturnalPatrol 2 points ago +2 / -0

It won't make a difference if no polls are open.

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deleted 6 points ago +7 / -1
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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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deleted 21 points ago +22 / -1
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840726 11 points ago +11 / -0

Biden doesn't think about Trump because Biden can't even remember what day of the week it is, the office he is running for, or who his wife is.

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DoYouBelieveInMAGA 6 points ago +6 / -0

WRONG

His name is the Other Biden and he's running for United States Senate.

15
OutrageSells 15 points ago +15 / -0

honestly, I'd vote for a nice carbon fiber tube over any Dem who has showed their head in the past year.

11
DystopianDoubleThink 11 points ago +12 / -1

You know, an inanimate carbon fuel rod does a have a good stance on Japanese trade relations, I'll give him that.

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NocturnalPatrol 7 points ago +7 / -0

If we vote by mail, Biden has a 100% chance of winning. I genuinely do not understand why more people are not sounding the alarm on this. The Democrats are going full steam ahead with mail-in voting, and it's already a go in California and New York.

2
AlohaSnackbar 2 points ago +3 / -1

California and New York.

Where it might matter for a few house seats, but honestly they can't expect to flip +10 R seats and not get called on the carpet.

On the topic of California: Dear Pedes who live in Cali...... FUCKING MOVE TO TEXAS YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLES. I'm in a purple state that's actually swung red, but you are in a lost state that is sending its spores into texas. YOU can offset that by moving too. What's keeping you? Your love of spanish? Your love of high taxes? Your love of being told what to do?

Fuck that static. Move to texas!

2
NocturnalPatrol 2 points ago +2 / -0

They flipped a bunch of R seats in 2018, using ballot harvesting, and nothing happened.

I think the Democrats could actually destroy ballots by the truckload, on live television, and nothing would happen.

1
dykstra89 1 point ago +2 / -1

whats keeping me is my love for my home.

if you dont live here you cant possibly understand. so many patriots here. i'll never abandon this ship.

i will live to see california returned to america.

1
christianknight 1 point ago +1 / -0

It was done incrementally each election. Flip 1 or 2 here or there. Then one cycle flip all (VA).

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deleted 30 points ago +30 / -0
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deleted 19 points ago +19 / -0
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You_Will_Clap 14 points ago +14 / -0

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

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stratocaster_patriot 7 points ago +7 / -0

okie doke

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DoYouBelieveInMAGA 3 points ago +3 / -0

He not doin nuthin

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deleted 11 points ago +11 / -0
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linereddit 9 points ago +9 / -0

What difference, at this point, does it make?

5
NYRepublican72 5 points ago +5 / -0

It depends on the definition of what is is.

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Wheredidiputit 5 points ago +5 / -0

It's all a big joke anyway and totally for show. I know it, they know it, everyone knows it.

5
Chopblock 5 points ago +5 / -0

People are - very smart people, are saying - some of them are very smart, and some - I assume are, not so smart. - but some, are saying...

7
Cheesemaker 7 points ago +7 / -0

Where is Joe?

7
Chopblock 7 points ago +7 / -0

Hunter nose