“Crime committed by person in City. Suspect is said to be...existent. Their name appears to be Tyrell...er... T. Smith. Actually, T.S. If you have any information about this disembodied entity that we’re sure had reasons for robbing and shooting that guy, let us know. Last seen wearing a black hoody and black pants worn around his ankles with some kick ass Air Jordans and gold chains.”

I read that and then needed to be chucked in a van like a side of beef!