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88
bigbootyhoes 88 points ago +91 / -3

I picked a hell of a day to quit drinking...

43
CisSiberianOrchestra 43 points ago +43 / -0

I picked a bad week to quit sniffing glue

26
1776-or-1984 26 points ago +27 / -1

Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?

14
deleted 14 points ago +15 / -1
6
Muh_Wailing_MXbabies 6 points ago +6 / -0

While smelling the fingers of Don lemon 🍋

6
slrpnls 6 points ago +6 / -0

All right, Striker, you listen, and listen close. Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle; it's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

2
Donarudo_Taranpu 2 points ago +2 / -0

See? Nobody cares.

14
deleted 14 points ago +14 / -0
12
CisSiberianOrchestra 12 points ago +12 / -0

I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

11
i.am 11 points ago +11 / -0

Or this glorious post is a celebration of your day!

5
RapidAsparagus 5 points ago +5 / -0

Just sit back and enjoy a refreshing diet coke.

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
1
ButteryFumes 1 point ago +1 / -0

Ripping up papers