C'mon, man! This reminds me back in 2nd grade when my Dad took me out to grandpa's farm to see the dog-faced ponies. I was a bright little kid back then, straight-B student. I asked my Dad if there really were needles in the haystacks, and he said "I donno, son. But you'll never know til you find out!" I learned a lot about perseverance that day, just digging and digging through all that hay, the deeper I got the more I sneezed but I just kept on digging. Man, I really wanted that needle. I was gonna take that needle to school in my Roy Rogers lunchbox, maybe stick somebody or put it in the teacher's chair. I never did like that old bag, all wrinkly and used-up, looked like she oughta be in a nursing home. Why would anybody put up with an old fossil like that? Anyway, I never did find that needle and what made matters worse, my grandpa tanned my hide for messing up his haystack cause the cows and the pony-faced dogs wouldn't eat it after that. I'll never forget that drive home into the city, hay sticking out of my hair, sneezing and sneezing and sneezing. Every time I sneezed Dad would laugh and laugh, saying "Little Joe, if you flunk 3rd grade I'm leaving you out there with Grandpa. You'll be big enough to work by then." Well, that scared me so bad I quit eating vegetables for two years and that's how I got the rickets, so I sure showed him, didn't I? Mom took me to the doctor and man, he gave me a big ol' shot that hurt for a week, that old so & so. Dagnabbit, I can still feel it just from thinking about it. When we got home, my Dad asked me "Hey Joe, did you find the needle yet?" and had a good ol' laugh. And that's what perseverance means to me: in the end I did find that needle, it just wasn't in the haystack. But they wouldn't let me take it home, so eventually I found a sharp little stick in the yard and made do with that. Good ol' American ingenuity, that's what we need around here. Trump the Tweeter, he doesn't get any of this stuff, he just doesn't. Probably ate all his vegetables, maybe even a couple of fruits. Says he's never even caught a cold, how is he gonna know how to handle this health crisis? That's crazy, man. If that's the kind of guy you trust, vote for Donald Trump. I don't care. I'm sorry, what was the question?
>I wrote all of that in one blast of about 15 minutes, my wife just said she thinks it's the best thing I've ever written sober <3 <3 <3
Usually I write this stuff from orbit, it's quite weird finding my land-legs artistically in any way in these last few weeks! (I'll be super-sober for 2-3 more months: I'm recovering from an operation that went quite well, which means lately I'm really not doing much beside this + research, and feeling extra-feisty : )
See, that's what a cud-chewing candy-headed postage-stamp eater might say. Kids got no attention span today, everybody's walking around staring at those little video game things I see everybody talking to. That's not how we beat the Germans at Pearl Harbor, man! Before that, we had to use those big cannons. Took 4 or 5 guys to shoot the damn thing, somebody had to jam that big ram-rod in there every time, it was just a nightmare. That's why you need a guy like me in charge ya see, I understand modern warfare. That's why they're choosing a strong sassy woman of color as my President, we would never have won the War Between The States without their stunning and brave contributions. Like my
grandpa told me one time while grandma was in the kitchen, boy sometimes she would make so much racket with those big 'ol cast iron skillets, remember those things? Man, I'll never forget those biscuits. She used to put real butter on 'em, not that crap you get in the store, real butter, Jack! She used to milk that funny old cow now and then, she had one of those old butter-churns, I remember she'd just be yankin' and yankin' on that broom handle and eventually, open 'er up and there's butter in there! Now that's how you make biscuits. She'd get done, and grandpa would say "See Little Joe, that's why I married her." I don't blame the old codger, I'd have married her too if she wasn't so old but I'm not kidding you, those were some damn good biscuits. Grandma almost won a prize for 'em at the county fair, but it got cancelled for the measles. She was mad as hornets, that big pile of biscuits just sitting there with no county fair to go to. Me and grandpa kept trying to sneak one, she just kept slapping our hands away, grandpa's yelling at her "Eugenia! Those biscuits ain't going nowhere, the fair's cancelled!!!" Then the cat jumped off the window-sill and knocked that plate off the table, it was just a mess, you never saw such hysteria. I miss that cat, he was pretty cool except for that time with the biscuits. See folks, that's why you need to vote for me, especially if you're a person of color or one of our fine upstanding undocumented citizens, I think that's what we're saying now. I survived a pandemic, hell I survived 4 or 5 of 'em. Seems like every time we have a big election one of them rolls around. I know how to fight a pandemic, you go after it like Joe Louis did and just pow, you knock it right out. Trump doesn't know how to do that, he's a bureaucrat. Not like me you know, I'm Average Joe! I'm ready for a scuffle! If you can't handle that, then vote for Trump in 2020! See if I care! I think you whippersnappers can figure it out. If you can't, go to joebiden dot info, they'll set you straight!
That 302 really tied the whole conspiracy together, man.....
This will not stand, ya know. This suppression will not stand.
We’re Democrats, Lewendowski, we care about nothing (but ourselves)
C'mon, man! This reminds me back in 2nd grade when my Dad took me out to grandpa's farm to see the dog-faced ponies. I was a bright little kid back then, straight-B student. I asked my Dad if there really were needles in the haystacks, and he said "I donno, son. But you'll never know til you find out!" I learned a lot about perseverance that day, just digging and digging through all that hay, the deeper I got the more I sneezed but I just kept on digging. Man, I really wanted that needle. I was gonna take that needle to school in my Roy Rogers lunchbox, maybe stick somebody or put it in the teacher's chair. I never did like that old bag, all wrinkly and used-up, looked like she oughta be in a nursing home. Why would anybody put up with an old fossil like that? Anyway, I never did find that needle and what made matters worse, my grandpa tanned my hide for messing up his haystack cause the cows and the pony-faced dogs wouldn't eat it after that. I'll never forget that drive home into the city, hay sticking out of my hair, sneezing and sneezing and sneezing. Every time I sneezed Dad would laugh and laugh, saying "Little Joe, if you flunk 3rd grade I'm leaving you out there with Grandpa. You'll be big enough to work by then." Well, that scared me so bad I quit eating vegetables for two years and that's how I got the rickets, so I sure showed him, didn't I? Mom took me to the doctor and man, he gave me a big ol' shot that hurt for a week, that old so & so. Dagnabbit, I can still feel it just from thinking about it. When we got home, my Dad asked me "Hey Joe, did you find the needle yet?" and had a good ol' laugh. And that's what perseverance means to me: in the end I did find that needle, it just wasn't in the haystack. But they wouldn't let me take it home, so eventually I found a sharp little stick in the yard and made do with that. Good ol' American ingenuity, that's what we need around here. Trump the Tweeter, he doesn't get any of this stuff, he just doesn't. Probably ate all his vegetables, maybe even a couple of fruits. Says he's never even caught a cold, how is he gonna know how to handle this health crisis? That's crazy, man. If that's the kind of guy you trust, vote for Donald Trump. I don't care. I'm sorry, what was the question?
Was that indica or sativa? :)
I think it's the nicotine patch : )
>I wrote all of that in one blast of about 15 minutes, my wife just said she thinks it's the best thing I've ever written sober <3 <3 <3
Usually I write this stuff from orbit, it's quite weird finding my land-legs artistically in any way in these last few weeks! (I'll be super-sober for 2-3 more months: I'm recovering from an operation that went quite well, which means lately I'm really not doing much beside this + research, and feeling extra-feisty : )
You know, you know, the thing.
I can hear him saying every bit of this. Good stuff.
Thank you <3 <3 <3
I did it on impulse and couldn't stop myself once it was rolling.
>Today I learned: apparently, I can speak fluent feeble if/when necessary
>Yay! Moar skillset
This is fucking gold LOL
See, that's what a cud-chewing candy-headed postage-stamp eater might say. Kids got no attention span today, everybody's walking around staring at those little video game things I see everybody talking to. That's not how we beat the Germans at Pearl Harbor, man! Before that, we had to use those big cannons. Took 4 or 5 guys to shoot the damn thing, somebody had to jam that big ram-rod in there every time, it was just a nightmare. That's why you need a guy like me in charge ya see, I understand modern warfare. That's why they're choosing a strong sassy woman of color as my President, we would never have won the War Between The States without their stunning and brave contributions. Like my grandpa told me one time while grandma was in the kitchen, boy sometimes she would make so much racket with those big 'ol cast iron skillets, remember those things? Man, I'll never forget those biscuits. She used to put real butter on 'em, not that crap you get in the store, real butter, Jack! She used to milk that funny old cow now and then, she had one of those old butter-churns, I remember she'd just be yankin' and yankin' on that broom handle and eventually, open 'er up and there's butter in there! Now that's how you make biscuits. She'd get done, and grandpa would say "See Little Joe, that's why I married her." I don't blame the old codger, I'd have married her too if she wasn't so old but I'm not kidding you, those were some damn good biscuits. Grandma almost won a prize for 'em at the county fair, but it got cancelled for the measles. She was mad as hornets, that big pile of biscuits just sitting there with no county fair to go to. Me and grandpa kept trying to sneak one, she just kept slapping our hands away, grandpa's yelling at her "Eugenia! Those biscuits ain't going nowhere, the fair's cancelled!!!" Then the cat jumped off the window-sill and knocked that plate off the table, it was just a mess, you never saw such hysteria. I miss that cat, he was pretty cool except for that time with the biscuits. See folks, that's why you need to vote for me, especially if you're a person of color or one of our fine upstanding undocumented citizens, I think that's what we're saying now. I survived a pandemic, hell I survived 4 or 5 of 'em. Seems like every time we have a big election one of them rolls around. I know how to fight a pandemic, you go after it like Joe Louis did and just pow, you knock it right out. Trump doesn't know how to do that, he's a bureaucrat. Not like me you know, I'm Average Joe! I'm ready for a scuffle! If you can't handle that, then vote for Trump in 2020! See if I care! I think you whippersnappers can figure it out. If you can't, go to joebiden dot info, they'll set you straight!