I love my wife. She loves me. But I’m going crazy with her leftist ideals. Today she posted how moved she was of Trudeau who got down on his his knees before a group of blm/antifa for 8 1/2 minutes. I think we are so far apart that it would be unhealthy. Our argument are always about how we see the world. And it’s gotten aweful and torturous. Her whole family shame me for not accepting CNN as credible news. In sept I had a nervous breakdown because I didn’t want to go home. She loves me to death and I do her but this constant berating of my opinions on trump and the world as I see it is gonna drive me to suicide. I’ve thought of it. Even as a Christian. I wish I could write everything on my heart down. It I can’t. There is too much. I just think what I believe makes me who I am. If people hate my views so much, they kinda hate me too. When we first started dating she told me how she used to brushed the toilet clean with her exes toilet with his toothbrush. She not crazy like that. He hit her in a drunken rage. But I haven’t been able to use my own toothbrush without thinking about that. Sometimes I wonder if she gets back at me for my opinions that way. I get cavities now for the first time in my life.

I paint her in to dark of a light. She cooks and cleans and God bless her in the last 6 years of marriage always makes me breakfast in bed. It when this stuff happens I end up thinking dark thoughts about myself and suicide nearly becomes an option. Should I leave her? I am scared the same of her. That suicide may become a plausible idea on her part. We live in her in-laws place since this bullshit happened to our economies. I am scared if I stay I’ll have to watch her take the mark when the time comes. I can’t do that. She stopped listening to me since I joined a 1% bike club and have since left of course. It was the worst decision of my life. Because it not only hurt me mentally I left my wife alone many nights serving the members beer and trying to earn my patch. I am just as much to blame. Just writing this down to convince myself life is worth it. And try to not be the coward by running away from my problems permanently. I have add and she has borderline personality disorder so we ha e that to contend with as well. It’s so hard bearding q say every day that things are happening and trump is draining the swamp. But I can’t see it. Maybe she is right. Maybe I e just been brainwashed myself. Maybe they are right. Maybe. I can’t tell anymore. Thanks for reading this. I hope no one else has to hear that it’s good that the leader do their country got on his knees to anyone. Nevermind rascist rioters and arsonists. I can’t tell anymore. Maybe They win. ANd maybe I’ve been feeling tortured far to long.

Bye.