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GeneralVeers 16 points ago +16 / -0

Cop: I want a doughnut.

Shopkeep: No discount. Full price.

Me: I want a doughnut.

Shopkeep: Here. Forty-nine cents please.

Me: Sure. Here ya go.

Also me: Here, Mr. Cop. Free doughnut.

Cop: Thanks!

Still me, but this time to the shopkeep: Fuck you.