Forgive the long-winded speech. As I said, it's for catharsis.
I've become so much more insular over the years. It is so limiting and so exhausting, but the alternative causes me too much angst. I have reached a point where I can no longer tolerate any exposure to things other people wouldn't think twice about. I can't watch local news anymore because the way it's framed disgusts me. I can no longer trust that anything I read or see or hear is true. I can't watch modern movies or series anymore because the propaganda in them is so overt now that it spoils my enjoyment of it. Video games are even starting to head in that direction for me. Worst of all, I am finding it harder to relate to other people, even those I am close to. Any time people look to discuss anything related to modern culture or politics, I have to hold my tongue because my perfectly normal worldview is now taboo, somehow. Not to mention that deviation from the prevailing orthodoxy is dangerous now in ways it hasn't been before. I feel irritated by almost every event that takes place and by almost every person's reaction to them. I am so much less open. I am more often inside my own head than not at this point.
It feels like there are fewer and fewer places, online or off, where things make sense. It is genuinely like every moral lesson I ever learned growing up has been abandoned by almost all others (and I am only 28, so that's not even that long ago). Equality, justice, honesty, freedom, fairness, respect...all of these ideas have been perverted or trashed. It's as though I am totally surrounded by insanity; everything feels inverted. It makes me question sometimes if I am the insane one and my perception of reality is flawed.
I am faced with a dilemma. On the one hand, being isolated in the way that I am is damaging. I tell myself that it's my nature to be solitary, but I think I am lying to myself. On the other, participation in and even observation of current society is nauseating. It makes me feel too much hate (so, so much), which makes me want to dissociate more. I feel like I have aged 10 years in the past 2. Places like this are essentially the last bastion of normalcy left that I have access to. While I am glad I can come here for that, I also know that learning about what is happening out there drives me further into madness. What can I even do? Stare off into space and live inside my own head? I am far too young to be a drooling mess unaware of my surroundings. The world has changed so much and so fast, and in such a terrible way, that it almost feels like that would be best.
If I had to summarize the issue, it would be that who I am is incompatible with where and when I am. My identity has become untenable, and it's jarring. It feels like I'd have to let go of all of those lessons I mentioned to function properly in this filthy landscape I exist in.
Sorry to be a little bitch about it, but I need to let all that shit out every now and then. Thanks for reading, if you did. If you need to vent, I will read what you have to say.
What state do you live in? Is there an opportunity to move if you're in a blue area. I'm in rural south east US and everything is sane over here. People are just laughing at the idiots. This includes many black people in my town. Not everyone has lost the plot.
I am actually in Canada. Ontario, specifically. So no better, and potentially worse, than a blue state. I have a job here that pays fairly well. I might move out west if I didn't.
You summed up exactly how I've been feeling! I am in Southern California and a mom of young kids so I find myself surrounded by younger, liberal women frequently.
There are many more who feel like you than you than you realize. They are silent.
Can you join groups that might expose you to more like-minded people? I plan to join our local Republican Women's Club.
I have found a couple of like-minded friends here and the most staunchly Trump loving ones in my group are Persian and Mexican!
When I start to get the darker feelings that you do, I am reminded to vote, act locally, and be my best. We are on the right side of history.
Remember that most people are really not aware of all the propaganda and are not really politically involved. Try your best to seem middle-ground, while dropping those little red pills. Eventually, more of the blind sheep will see the light.
I am in Canada, so feel hopeless when it comes to voting. There is no way we'll ever have a Trump-like leader here. I wouldn't even know where to start when it comes to meeting like-minded people here. You are probably right about people not being politically involved, though. It's easy to see all this commotion and assume so many people are involved in it.
I get what you’re saying. There’s an important aspect to understand and remember. Our country has been through many turbulent times. The difference is now it’s all in your face. Social media and the internet allows us to be inundated with way too much information! Things have actually been worse. Imagine if the internet and social media existed in the 60’s. You had the Vietnam War, the assassination of JFK, RFK, MLK, and the Cuban missile crisis. People lived in fear and they were only getting pieces of information! It’s good that we have this place to feel solace. It’s okay to not watch the news, it’s okay to stay off the internet and social media. I’ve been contractor for google for almost a decade and I have to make myself step away. I can’t think about it too much or I get so upset. It can seem like the world is falling to pieces. But it’s not. This is a special time. There is an awakening happening. There will always be turmoil, but this is part of life. Take care of yourself. Listen to music, read books, and look to the little things in life to bring you joy. I don’t have a single friend that I can spout my thoughts off too. Instead I find creative ways to drop red pills to the unsuspecting. Remember that the US government has always been corrupt. There has always been propaganda pushed on the American people. Donald Trump has opened Pandora’s box. I’m hoping after his second term, he starts his own media company. We owe him a lot. Be grateful for this opportunity we have right now to see some truth. We have been living in the darkness of lies for too long. Corruption will always be with us, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a happy life. One of my favorites quotes from Patricia Cornwall book is ‘there is no cure for human nature.” I often remind myself of that. Stay strong and know you are not alone!
You're right. Social media is an amplifier for all things terrible. I wish it didn't exist. Take me back to the time of MSN messenger, and leave me there!
The way things are going, I don’t think it will last in the same capacity it is now. Sometimes, simple is better!!
Hear hear. Victor Frankl citations are powerful.
Thanks for these comforting words. And for your optimism. I can't change the happenings of the world, but I can choose, to some extent, how to feel about them. Good advice.
yeah, just keep your morale up. learn more skills to help yourself and others. make some new friends and just live well. all of this will pass.
So much optimism in this comment section. I don't know how you all do it, but it's nice to see.
Your post resonated with me, as in, I could have written most of it. A small difference is that a do have a few friends. To be honest, friends can make you more miserable if they too just ignore what’s happening and willfully go along to get along. Having said that, my family is of like mind and that is my saving grace.
I would encourage you to find a good bible based church and connect with others.
I keep telling myself, DO GOOD, no matter how frustrated and dismayed I feel. Find a way to brighten someone’s day, or do good for others. It’s the only thing I can control. Best wishes for better days.
Thank you. You know, I have never been religious. I don't know if I ever could be, but I have come to understand the goodness and the wisdom of those who are. There's something about them. It brings me comfort to be in their presence compared to those who are not. A woman I work with is very devout. She's one of my favorite people.
I wondered, and hesitated to mention it. I was thinking mainly of you finding a spouse and someone to go through life with (Like minded and positive, an encourager.)
Not all churches are the answer, but faithful people do seem to be my best hope anyway! I genuinely wish for you some meaningful connections!
I am glad you mentioned it. I don't want anyone to hold back their true thoughts from me if they feel compelled to share them. There is too much of that going around lately.
I want to reinforce what 45forever is saying. I feel the same way you do in many respects, live in Southern California. But what keeps me sane is my connection to my Creator. The reason you feel like Mugatu in Zoolander asking if you’re crazy and taking crazy pills while everything and everyone around you is insane and non-sensical is because we are essentially strangers in a strange land looking for home. We were created to be perfect and in harmony with our Creator and the creation, but our original ancestors messed it up with sin, and we help propagate the devolution with our own sins. Leftism is not a new thing. It started when Satan told Eve that ‘Surely, you will not die’ and will even become ‘like God’ by rebelling and doing what you want instead of what is right. Leftism and by extension all of its less overtly radical children are all just moral relativism. They really are entropy of the body, mind, soul, morals, principles, etc.
An interesting perspective. As we know, entropy cannot be reversed. Let's hope the effects of leftism can.
Entropy only came about as a consequence of sin
I feel the same way, fortunately I still have some drinking buddies to hang out and talk with so it's not as bad but you hit on a lot of points that I've been experiencing as well.
I'm not much older than you, graduated college about 10 years ago. Every job I've had, while they've paid well, have been absolute garbage and almost every coworker I've had is a complete bumbling idiot. I really saw the Idiocracy accelerate after the last president was elected and it's been accelerating at unseen levels just recently.
I'm hoping that this shit going on is all last ditch efforts to try and keep this upside-down world in tact and that it's ultimately going to trigger things to go in the right direction again.
I am glad that you have those buddies. I unfortunately did not secure such friendships. I never thought I'd need them.
Years ago, when Western culture started veering toward extreme identity politics and "social justice" was a burgeoning idea, I consistently expressed concerns about it and about the fact that it was all stemming from the education sector, hoping that it would cause a ripple effect and significant resistance to it. I was mostly met with doubts about its influence and comments like "anti-SJWs have become as bad as SJWs." Now look where we are...
Yeah man, even when I was in school, all the way back to middle school, I just sat around being like "this is bullshit"
I learned that it was easier to just "stay off the radar" and get through the classes like it was just a really shitty job. It wasn't even that hard - I never studied and barely tried. I got out of college with a 3.8 GPA and stopped buying books by the second year. I always kept working since I was 15, and was already in corporate world by the end of my first year in college - on top of college I was working 90 hour weeks just to pay my way through. I only stay in corporate world now since the money is better, even though it's where it seems like all this evil upside down shit stems from, but I'm starting to consider moving to a more rural area and going back to having some normal job that pays less but will keep me and my family happy enough.
I increasingly love the idea of living in a rural area, surrounded by normal, warm people. I am somewhat committed to my current location because of my job, but one can dream. I was a good student, too, but that feels like eons ago.
I feel basically the same way. I live in Melbourne Australia, the commie capital of Australia. Most days I feel like I’m taking crazy pills, because many of the things I know to be true the average person has NO CLUE. For example, our BLM march here in Melbourne was supposedly for indigenous deaths in custody. Except the death rate of indigenous people in custody in Australia is LESS than the death rate of non-indigenous people, has been for decades!
I have Trump stickers on my car and I’ve copped lots of abuse for it. But I’ve also had plenty of people say quietly that they like him too - they just don’t like to speak up.
It's crazy how people don't care about facts and just act like what isn't true is just to virtue signal. Irritating. I don't know if Melbourne is worse than Ontario (where I live), but I've heard tales.