ELIFU5 version:

Zoe Quinn: slurp slurp Be sure to rate my game good, okay?

Gaming Journalism: Oh gawd I'm cumming five star reviews!

Gamers: Uh, this five star game really sucks. My dog took a shit on the keyboard and it somehow cranked out a better game. What gives?

GJ: STOP ATTACKING MY BELOVED COCKGOBBLER YOU MONSTERS.

Gamers: Oh lord, they're trading sexual favors for positive coverage up in here.

Zoe: I feel so personally attacked because I'm a minority woman with empowered sexuality who should be allowed to prostitute themselves for presstitute favor.

Anita, et. all: Yeah! How dare anybody anywhere ever challenge a woman's right to do illegal and unethical things?

GJ: Quit talking and get back to sucking, we've got this. Ahem. "Gamers are dead." (Literal quote, from multiple gaming journalists, whose sole audience is gamers.)

Gamers: Look, all we want is unbiased coverage and full disclosure of conflicts of interest, like any other ethical journa-

GJ: FUCK YOU MICHAEL ZOOLANDER WHO WORKS AT TARGET IN NEW PORT RICHY FLORIDA..

Mike Z, Gamer: Yo wtf?

Feminists: Le gasp, le doxx! GET THAT PATRIARCH AND CANCEL HIM FOR GOOD!

Mike Z, Gamer:

GJ: And this is why we need to have a conversation about the problematic culture of gaming and how all gamers are horrible people who hate women and deserve horrible things.

Mainstream Journalism: Also, gamers calling for ethical standards is really an attack on all modern journalism. We won't stand for being held accountable!

Gamergater is evolving!... ... ... Gamergater has evolved into Redpiller! autistic screech sfx Redpiller has discovered a new move, "Vote for Donald Trump." Learn this move now? Y/Y?