It is a choice to have a disbelief rather than a belief. But to say you don't have a belief is false.
Your conclusions about the world around you are then seen through the prism of what you have chosen to believe, and therefore will read and listen to those that also see through the chosen prism of belief, even though many different beliefs are looking at the same things.
To then claim truth in disbelief through the process of occam's razor with merely the same things that everyone is also observing is a falsehood, as the assumptions made rely on a foundation of lessons taught in the unprovable, unseeable beliefs in the same way other beliefs operate.
If we all have the same evidence of that which we can see, but no proof of how it came to be, our conclusions are then simply based on what we chose to believe before the evidence was presented. A faith in which our conclusion about what is unknown is correct.
To choose to disbelieve about a belief is still a chosen belief in disbelieving.
I understand friend, and I pray you do find faith in Christ one day. One thing is for certain, we both have 2020 vision.