'Cause you're talking about what? You're talking about - bitching about some shit book written by a neocon warhawk. Some losers on reddit on who don't want what you're selling? Some lib coworkers who wear pink pussy hats and so forth. Let's talk about something important.

PUT. THE COVFEFE. DOWN.

Covfefe's for shitposters only. Do you think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from downtown. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. You call yourself a nimble navigator, you son of a bitch? You don't have to listen to this, pal, 'cause the good news is you're fired. The bad news is - you've got, all of you got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting with tonight. Starting with tonight's sit. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this month's meme contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize's a set of steak knives.Third prize is you're fired. You get the picture? You laughing now? You got memes. The Donald paid good money. Get their names to redpill them! You can't shitpost the memes you're given, you can't shitpost shit, you are shit. Hit the bricks, pal, and beat it 'cause you are going out.

"The memes are weak." Fucking memes are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business fifteen years. My name? FUCK YOU, that's my name. You know why, Mister? 'Cause you're moping about like a blackpilled doomer, And I have 20 stickied posts. That's my name. And your name is "you're wanting." And you can't play in a man's game. You can't redpill them, Then go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life. Get them to vote for Donald Trump! You hear me, you fucking FAGGOTS?

A-B-S. A-always, B-be, S-shitposting. Always be shitpost. Always be shitposting! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention: do I have your attention? Interest: are you interested? I know you are 'cause it's fuck or walk. You shitpost or you hit the bricks! Decision: have you made your decision for Christ?! And Action. A-I-D-A. Get out there! You got normies comin' in. You think they came in to get out of the rain? A guy don't browse the site lest he wants to vote. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their vote! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?

You see this meme? That meme got more views than a Biden rally. I made 970,000 shitposts last year. How much you make? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Conservative guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you , go home and play with your kids. You want Trump to get reelected? Shitpost! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this -- how can you take the abuse you get on twitter and facebook? You don't like it -- leave. I can go out there tonight with the memes you got, and redpill 15,000 people! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can YOU? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad, you son of a bitches! Get mad! You know what it takes to shitpost a president into the White House? It takes high energy to shitpost a president into the White House. Go and do likewise, gents. The votes are out there, you pick it up, it's yours. You don't -- I got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those sites tonight and shipost. Shitpost! It's yours. If not, you're gonna be shining Joe Biden's shoes. And you know what you'll be sayin', a bunch of losers sitting around in a bar: "Oh yeah, I used to be a memesmith. It's a tough racket."

I'd wish you good luck, but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. And to answer the question, pal: "Why am I here?" I came here because The Donald asked me to. They asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fucking ass because a loser is a loser.