So true. This is how abusers work. They start by convincing you they're good people who care about you. Then they start asking you to change little things about yourself. They have what seem to be good reasons for their requests. You think you're dealing with a decent person with your best interests at heart, so you try to accommodate them.
Over time, your sense of self starts to erode. When you're a little worn down, their requests turn into demands and get more frequent and intrusive. They go from making up good reasons to making your life miserable if you don't comply. They keep creating the impression that there's just this one last thing standing between the discord and a return to the happiness you once had.
They blame you for all the problems, picking out points where they know you're vulnerable so you'll be inclined to believe them. They try to keep you isolated from others who would point out that you're being manipulated. When you have become demoralized and depressed to the point you don't have the strength to fight back, that's when the hardcore abuse starts.
I work in mental health. The government is like this. People think hey, disability or welfare is "free money." It's not. You take that money, there are so many strings attached. Now you're told how to vote, how much you can work (work less or we'll take your "benefits"away!), who can live in your home, and where you can live. It's a TRAP, and it's become generational.
So true. This is how abusers work. They start by convincing you they're good people who care about you. Then they start asking you to change little things about yourself. They have what seem to be good reasons for their requests. You think you're dealing with a decent person with your best interests at heart, so you try to accommodate them.
Over time, your sense of self starts to erode. When you're a little worn down, their requests turn into demands and get more frequent and intrusive. They go from making up good reasons to making your life miserable if you don't comply. They keep creating the impression that there's just this one last thing standing between the discord and a return to the happiness you once had.
They blame you for all the problems, picking out points where they know you're vulnerable so you'll be inclined to believe them. They try to keep you isolated from others who would point out that you're being manipulated. When you have become demoralized and depressed to the point you don't have the strength to fight back, that's when the hardcore abuse starts.
I work in mental health. The government is like this. People think hey, disability or welfare is "free money." It's not. You take that money, there are so many strings attached. Now you're told how to vote, how much you can work (work less or we'll take your "benefits"away!), who can live in your home, and where you can live. It's a TRAP, and it's become generational.