In my case, my friend is mixed-race and he feels that he'll betray one "side" if he has to pick one, meantime it is us who are fighting for a better world for him and the other "side" who's fighting to take any such hope from him. It's cowardice like you say, sometimes you have to become the villain in the eyes of the tricked and only long after when the smoke cleared, they'll understand what you were fighting for.