Don’t have fertility issues but was browsing my coverage for some other stuff and went down a rabbit hole. I have really really good health insurance that is probably better than 99% of Americans so I’m sure it’s true for everyone else. This is honestly super sad considering I have several coworkers that battled with infertility and spend THOUSANDS of dollars out of pocket to finally have their children. But they’ll pay for you to mutilate your body and even fly you to have the procedure done. Unbelievable.
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Little known fact, if you are a woman trying to get pregnant there is a simple loophole to take advantage of.
First, approach any medical "professional" except "your doctor" (that was just a marketing gimmick silly).
Second, tell this "professional" that you now identify as a "man".
Third, fill out a half page questionnaire verifying you have given this important decision at least 2 minutes of careful consideration.
Fourth, enjoy having your insides ripped out and turned into a lumpy meat sausage. Don't worry, taxpayer funding ensures you can have any stuffing you desire.
Fifth, enjoy your new found male privilege and insist that your healthcare "professional" now inseminate you with a baby with a skin tone that best fits your virtues. Do not worry if you are uncertain about your preference for the baby's gender. You can always change this later, as often as you please provided you meet criteria such as "definitely have a feeling about it", "my child once did a thing that was not gender specific", "one of his/her/xirs playschool teachers said something"
Six, simply change your mind about your current gender assignment and request a switchback.
Remember, in case your freshly inverted meat sausage is unable to fully function as a vagina, just call our suicide hotline to speak with one of three nationwide friendly voice messaging systems between the hours of 11am and 1pm on Wednesdays and Fridays, excluding lunch hours between 11.30am and 12.30pm. Our operators speak Spanish, Chinese or any one of the somali dialects.
It’s one of those things where you laugh because it’s uncomfortably accurate
It can be both
reminds me of crazy card combinations playing Magic the Gathering from decades past.
We should make a new card game called Libtard the Karening.
I dunno, new colour of magic? Their armies would rely on surrounding single enemies and hitting them with bikelock stuns, and they could eat their own to regain life points.
The sounds kinda like black, what with the zombies hordes, sacrifice mechanics and everything.
Don't forget to be simultaneously offended because they assumed gender, and apologetic because of your white privilege during your call. Just blame it on the patriarchy and/ or your pregnancy hormones.
"at least 2 minutes of careful consideration" top. fucken. kek