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Comments (61)
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151
deleted 151 points ago +151 / -0
49
LurkNoMore 49 points ago +49 / -0

Assistant TO THE manager at Jamba Juice.

25
FLatinoKAG 25 points ago +25 / -0

Hahahahah Jamba juice!!!!

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deleted 19 points ago +19 / -0
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Cmchn 9 points ago +10 / -1

"Your complaints have no power here."

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electricboogaloo 11 points ago +11 / -0

HTkA L6YI qH 0mgMAq SmXWY xQafxw7J WCEUr mKP ceY 6C2xa vimkAqmv

9
Ghostof_PatrickHenry 9 points ago +9 / -0

Honestly, I would read an article with this headline long before I would read anything published by MSDNC or FakeNews CNN.

4
Long_time_lurker 4 points ago +4 / -0

Okay, anyone know where we can get some powerful lasers and a vial of mutagen? Maybe Splinter or April have some connections we can use?

52
Batmemejr3 52 points ago +52 / -0

Ultra-Trump!

17
PantsJihad 17 points ago +17 / -0

I'm just picturing an EVA cloned from hillary and Soros yelling at Biden "GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT JOE"

9
Batmemejr3 9 points ago +9 / -0

(Joe babbles incoherently and wanders in circles as he stares at his shoes)

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deleted 8 points ago +8 / -0
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Drinkup4 33 points ago +33 / -0

I remember in 2004 hearing the same thing about W. That is the Libs go to argument to scare people.

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deleted 34 points ago +34 / -0
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deleted 17 points ago +18 / -1
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MarxismKills 6 points ago +6 / -0

The. Left. Always. Projects.

6
WinMoreReeLess 6 points ago +6 / -0

I remember it every election cycle as far back as 2000. The media wants to report on chaos, not peace.

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6
Rainman 6 points ago +6 / -0

FIRST TIME I'VE SEEN THAT! ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!

10
AsaNisiMAGA 10 points ago +10 / -0

Stahp! I can only get so excited!

10
cajun_robear 10 points ago +10 / -0

I pray every night for the latter.

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Wyrmshadow 8 points ago +8 / -0

I'd watch that on SiFi.

3
BIDENSACPADDICT 3 points ago +3 / -0

Only if they get the entire cast of star trek voyager.

3
jennyfrutex 3 points ago +3 / -0

I fully support this.

8
runonce 8 points ago +8 / -0

...and becomes immortal. America is at last safe for future generations.

8
SimplePede 8 points ago +8 / -0

Y'all ever hear the story of Trump? 50 feet tall, shoots lasers from his eyes. 'Said he could make half the country cry with a Tweet. They say he's still up in these very hills, and if you listen real quiet on a still summer night you can still hear the rallies

3
GorillaWarfare 3 points ago +3 / -0

Opponents beware

Opponents beware

He's coming. He's coming!

7
JiggsawCalrissian 7 points ago +7 / -0

THIS IS A VERY REAL AND TRUE DANGER WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH RIGHT NOW by giving us all your money

-- BLM

7
fj9041jg8nqheufhqiun 7 points ago +7 / -0

Sounds like a great start to an Anime

6
magnokor 6 points ago +6 / -0

Looking forward to this.

6
deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
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Gov_Dimwiddle 6 points ago +6 / -0

Here me, Subjects of Washington:

I am President Donald Trump.

I now speak to all the Subjects of Washington through the power of my Twitter account. The masses have been redpilled, and all of the Conservatives within this nation have begun to walk.

My goal is to protect the people of America, who supported me and elected me. But the world desires the destruction of the people of America. Over countless years, their hatred has grown beyond this nation. They will surely not stop until they have killed every last one of the Subjects of Washington.

I reject their desire.

The Conservatives of America will vote out all of the corrupt Democratic officials, until all the Liberals have been eliminated from this world.

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deleted 5 points ago +5 / -0
5
Sirbigusdickus 5 points ago +5 / -0

The truth is that this is exactly what we all want. Emperor MechaTrump.

4
GreetingsEarthlings 4 points ago +4 / -0

Trumps with frickin' lasers!

3
germs 3 points ago +3 / -0

Attack On Trump

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
Kerra_Holt 2 points ago +2 / -0

GEOTUS: "Omae wa mao shindeiru!" The Left: "NANI?"

2
misterLahey 2 points ago +2 / -0

Is this in response to a real op-ed penned by a Jamba Juice manager?

2
FluffiPuff 2 points ago +2 / -0

Mothra be all like "oh @%&$"

2
GAGASays 2 points ago +2 / -0

That rotoscope effect looks spot on for late 60's kek.

2
tepkek 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
MagillaGuerilla 2 points ago +2 / -0

We can only hope for the best. We’re going to need a lot of silk for his new giant tie

2
LibertyPrimeWasRight 2 points ago +2 / -0

If only.

2
jubyeonin 2 points ago +2 / -0

This is better fanfiction than Russian Collusion Hoax.

2
MapleBaconWaffles 2 points ago +2 / -0

FAKE NEWS

The internet tells me the white house is 70 feet tall. That makes Trump at least 100.

2
South_Florida_Guy 2 points ago +2 / -0

I would risk part of it for all of it.

2
MagasaurusRex 2 points ago +2 / -0

I wish this would happen!!!!!

2
Wrexxis780 2 points ago +2 / -0

At this point I would believe this is a real article somewhere.

1
BIDENSACPADDICT 1 point ago +1 / -0

Strudelfudd is twitter personified.

1
DarkBerry 1 point ago +1 / -0

Assistant Manager at Jamba Juice.

Officially qualified to run a major cable news network.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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deleted 1 point ago +2 / -1
1
Gunmolester 1 point ago +1 / -0

He is actually the assistant to the regional manager but his real passion is his Beet farm

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
Trump2024 1 point ago +1 / -0

If our representatives ever decide to come back to work a panel to investigate this possibility should be priority number one!

1
AZDesertRat 1 point ago +1 / -0

Strudelfudd...LOL!

1
Transgirl_4_Trump 1 point ago +1 / -0

I, for one, would be pleased with this result. Lasers are cool.

1
ParkerTruman 1 point ago +2 / -1

50 ft tall laser eye Trump is my favorite Trump.

1
Lol_Garrus 1 point ago +1 / -0

Fucking kek!