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129
brimshae 129 points ago +131 / -2

This is an article you'd expect from TheOnion, or Babylon Bee...

Demolition Man, anyone?

73
emotionalizer 73 points ago +73 / -0

Idiocracy, anyone?

39
deleted 39 points ago +39 / -0
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ChinaFlu 43 points ago +44 / -1

Don't worry scrote! There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick ass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a democrat now.

23
The_Bloofy_Bullshark 23 points ago +23 / -0

Go away... batin’

5
Skogin 5 points ago +5 / -0

OH GOD!

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one3five 13 points ago +13 / -0

eh, i don't wanna sound like a dick or nothin but it says on your chart you're all fucked up, you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded

12
Elloelle5 12 points ago +12 / -0

Water? Like out the toilet?

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deepbake 11 points ago +11 / -0

baby i can wait so good!

11
HocusLocus 11 points ago +12 / -1

HOW IS GRAMPPY KILLED?
HOW IS GRAMMY KILLED?
HOW GIRL BECOME COVID?

They need to do way instain couple who kill thier gramppys becuse these gramps cant frigth back? It was on the news this mroing a girl in ar who had whopeee and sick her grappy and grandmy they are taking the grapms back to new york too kill them on vents my pary are with the father who does not know he have rona. Lost them alll i am truley sorry for your lots.

3
ScreamingEagles 3 points ago +4 / -1

Under appreciated post.

2
not_the1 2 points ago +2 / -0

How is babby formed?

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deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0
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KekistanPM 5 points ago +5 / -0

The left would absolutely not stop using that movie reference during GWB's presidency. Later during Obama's term when his administration did something foolish, the left would get mad when anyone made a reference to that movie.

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TheThreeSeashells 32 points ago +32 / -0

Seems like an appropriate time for me to comment...let's see...

Seeing how they've tried to put restaurants and bars out of business, maybe Taco Bell will actually be the only restaurant left before long.

Will people be sent to cryoprison and reprogrammed for not social distancing and wearing masks? Probably. They'll also likely be programmed to know how to knit masks.

20
meals23 20 points ago +20 / -0

their end game is trump not being able to run for re-election because he doesn't know how to use the three seashells

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TheThreeSeashells 5 points ago +5 / -0

In that case he can just use an issue of the Times or Washington Post.

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meals23 7 points ago +7 / -0

the new york times new motto is "20% more absorbent than generic fake news"

6
DarkBerry 6 points ago +6 / -0

Shit, this has really tied it all together.

Do you think you can show me how to use the three seashells? I still don't get it. I tried using them like ice cream scoops. That was... stinky.

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deleted 5 points ago +5 / -0
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BlessedbytheAbyss 2 points ago +2 / -0

And everything will be so offensive only old commercial jingles will be on the radio!

2
TheThreeSeashells 2 points ago +2 / -0

Hot dogs...Armour hot dogs...!

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xmetalgod 15 points ago +15 / -0

Enhance your calm.

13
Vino 13 points ago +13 / -0

"You mean fluid tranfers??"

13
CorradoSoprano 13 points ago +13 / -0

What's your boggle citizen?

8
Bigger_igloo 8 points ago +8 / -0

This whole thread was fantastic. Thank you all. And, "I just want eat red meat, drink beer, have sex, watch baseball and do whatever the fuck I want when I want."

I would be Dennis Leary... including the hockey jerseys.