I had lunch with a particular friend yesterday for the first time since March. Lets call him Teddy.

We use to email multiple times per day but that stopped several months back when we are arguing about masks. He just stopped replying.

Then, last week, out of the blue, he asked if I wanted to go to lunch. No... I didn't really want to but one of the rules I have is if a request is made of me that I can reasonably fulfill, I do the request. This qualified so we had lunch yesterday. He had his mask ... I had mine in my pocket the whole time because I didn't know what the restaurant was going to do. Turns out, they did nothing.

A queer part of the story is his background. I'm 61. He is probably 65. He has long hair, drove a motorcycle until it fell apart from lack of use, smokes (refuses to vape), has had a stint put in, doesn't exercise or do anything healthy at all. So... my guess is that his self image is some type of bad ass biker dude that drinks, smokes, whores around (at least in the past). Yet he is utterly terrified of the CCP Virus.

We started talking at lunch, one of the first things he said was that he was outraged at Trump because Trump totally screwed up the PPEs. I've not seen anything at all about Trump screwing up the PPEs. His proof is some news clip of "Trump's son in law" (who I don't even know who that might be) saying blah blah blah about the PPEs.

He agrees that the big focus is China and he agrees that no one but Trump would have taken on China. To me (and I said so), that is game over. I don't give a fuck about what Trump did about the fake virus. But he wouldn't hear any of that. Trump... god damn it... screwed up the PPEs and he was outraged and focused on that.

"So, what about Flynn?", I asked. "Huh???" he replied.

"So, what about the changes Trump has done about China and the stock market?" I asked... "Huh???" he replied.

"So, what about HCQ? Turns out Trump was right." I said.

"Oh, I quit following anything about that because Trump pissed me off so much."

On and on like this it went.

Another example is "Trump doesn't lead" according to him. And then later in the conversation he bitched because the CDC wanted to keep the schools closed (according to him) but Trump overruled. I didn't think of it at the time but driving home it hit me that Trump is leading ... just now the way that MSM or Teddy wants Trump to lead. You can't have it both ways. You can say I disagree with Trump's leadership but you can't say he isn't leading AND bitch about every leadership decision that Trump is making.

One of the things I bring to the table is a horrible childhood and what most consider a rather miraculous emotional and spiritual journey through various 12 step programs, counseling, etc. So at one point when he was describing why Trump did what he did as being arrogant, narcissistic, and only caring about re-election, I pointed out that that was all just Teddy's projection. His response to this was something to the effect that he has never said anything bad about XYZ where XYZ is some particular military family that I guess Trump must have disparaged some point. I vaguely recall something like that way long time ago. Long story short, he has no idea what projection is.

One of the things that keeps popping up in my head is what one of my counselors said within the past year or so. Actually two things. One was "Teddy isn't very self aware is he?" and the other was "Why are you wasting your time with Teddy?"

I think something clicked yesterday. I'm very detached and settled right now. I have no desire to run away from Teddy but I have no need to engage with him any more. I doubt, if / when he asks again to have lunch, that I will not go and simply say that I'm pretty sure I can't help him. He seems desperately attached to his anger and fears and only him and God can free him of that.