I got out of the Navy in 2008.
I started dealing with my friends killing themselves off before I got my honorable.
I had more than enough after I was discharged.
After losing friends while active, and after they got out to suicide I swore I would keep living to honor them and live the lives they couldn't.
It is getting more difficult everyday. I'm feeling PHYSICAL PAIN from the fact that I can see data and patterns while the entire world is just giving into feelings and forgetting what happened 5 minutes ago.
I'm in the works of getting my VA disability increased because of this and extra therapy sessions, but all I get is platitudes and "just go along with it, you need your job" kind of shit.
I am SOOOOOOOO fed up with it. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING FED UP WITH IT.
If I were not a man of my word, I would not be here right now. I am a man of my word and I will be here until the bitter end.
Coming here is good.
It's a hard thing. You guys went overseas to fight, but the real fight was and is here. Almost everything in the news, entertainment industry, education, and corporate life is propaganda, and it warps everyone's perception. It's DESIGNED to depress you, and make you feel hopeless. And it's effective, as you are experiencing.
But it's not real. Remember that: it isn't real. The effects are, and we have to acknowledge that, but we also have an obligation to fight it.
You're a man of your word, and you took an oath to defend the Constitution. We're all going to have to step up to that, and we need you with us. Look around and get with some people who help you recharge because all of us are in for a fight.
Lastly, the older I get the more I just try to do the best I can today and let God handle the rest. He's way better at it than I am anyway :)
I think you really understand what I'm suffering from.
I'm immune to the programming for some reason. I am skeptic. I see everyone just following....... and I question. I need facts.
I can't just let god handle it anymore. I realized that when my video games started getting fucked years ago. My gaming buddies are infested.
I shared a post to my facebook, before my last account was banned, and it at Q in it. That resulted in the last friend I had fucking going nuts on me. It wasn't anything really "Q", it was just a shared post from twitter from a Q account. It's everywhere. Everyone is fucked.
Those of us not lucky enough to knock up a chick and lock her down for marriage, we're fucked and alone.
Never alone. It just feels that way.
I guarantee you there are men and women within 10 miles of where you are right now feeling exactly the same way. I felt it when I was on facebook, and watching my comments get banned on every platform, and even seeing the crap the local paper was putting in the editorial section.
I'm not your CO, or even a real friend, but my suggestion to you is set yourself a goal to go find some of those people. They need your help as much as you need theirs.
It's so hard to find the people.
My skydiving hobby helps, it's full of old school vets and support the blue types but it's just a small part
Guy I knew asked me to join the Knights of Columbus; that has been pretty great. The easiest way is to join a group that meets at least once a week, or several groups that meet less frequently. If you go to three or four meetings and don't click with anyone then try different groups. A little persistence here and you'll be on your way.
I just downloaded the Trump App from notices on this site. Looks like maybe they will have some local opportunities. I'm also going to send this thread link to the mods to see if they can support some kind of local threads. It really isn't just you; many of us struggle to find like-minded people because everyone is so scared they'll be harassed. But we're out there!
I'm actually in columbus and I saw a flyer that next saturday there's a rally of folks here. I'm hoping to meet people there. The next issue, is something that has been a problem for a while, is being a single male in his 30's. Everyone has a family. Can't find folks to date or people free enough to have a life.
Take care of the first problem. That will go a long way toward handling the second.
I agree. Easier said than done.
I wish I could, but the world is full of fat and lazy people.
I try to donate my time and money but the best I have is through the skydiving. I am in the works of making that full time, which will help a lot.
I don't usually share this level of personal shit on here, but I think it might help you. I was never in the military, but I did witness two of my friends murdered when I was a teenager. I wasted a lot of years on rage, drugs, revenge fantasies, finding people that "deserved it" and beating the living shit out of them. Im also pretty immune to the programming. I met a retired secret service agent in the late nineties that got drunk and told me some serious shit about the clintons killing Vince foster. He claimed to have been there. Anyway I want you to know that I probably don't understand exactly what you are going through, but our experiences are close enough that I can have true compassion for where you are at. The turning point for me was the day that I realised that my responsibilities come from God. What I mean is that God only requires me to be responsible for that which he has placed me in charge of. Focus on making the world a better place within the reach of your arm. The best way to honor your friends is to find somebody that needs a friend and be that friend. Also I found it helpful to get out of the city. You don't have to quit your job, or move to the dark side of the moon, just get out among the trees a little bit. Start a garden and eat from it. Get yourself financially secure and be a part of your community. I swear to God the type of woman you want will show up out of the blue once you do that. Also, if possible get a dog. Being a caretaker is good for a man's soul. Save my username man. I'm on here every couple hours. Holler at me if you ever need to talk.
This is some world class advice full of wisdom right here. I think we can all take something from this post and from this Side'o Beef Curtains!
Thanks Pede and keep fighting the good and righteous fight.
I'm honestly one of the lucky blessed few who came out the other side. There is joy at the end of the tunnel brothers. Just trust in God to get you there, and be a good caretaker of what he blesses you with.
You have wisdom that “education” frequently leads away from
More like I smashed my head into a brick wall 37 times and then said to myself, "hey, maybe I should turn and walk away instead of smashing into this wall again". But if that qualifies as wisdom, hey I guess I'm a wiseass 😏
Cheaper than an education, and clearly more conducive to conveying actual knowledge.
I'm not religious and can't do the faith thing, it just doesn't work with my brain.... However, I've been seriously considering going to a church for the community.
I moved from my family and friend for a better life, a life at all, but the distance from my family has made it harder... and having the world be stupid has made it nearly impossible to make new friends if you don't buy into the "outrage of the week"
It's honestly to the point where I'm afraid I'm gonna lose control and just punch someone for being stupid. After 12 years of watching the cycle and trying to point it out, I see little option outside of beating the stupid out of someone.
Maybe I should join an MMA gym.
I hope you can give the Bible a read, if nothing else. Don't worry too much about the faith just yet. Just read it and see if you can agree with the wisdom it contains. If you find you can, then pray for God to kindle His fire in your heart.
I was adamantly atheist until my husband prayed over me a month or so after we got married. Scales almost literally fell off my eyes and heart, instantly. It was such a crazy feeling. Tbh we don't go to church, we read the Bible and try to be good people, I talk to people about it here and there, and it is enough.
I'll let you in on a little secret.... you can have deep faith in God and not have faith in "human religion" or dogma. The Bible contains all the knowledge you need to know. If you do end up going to a church, don't let them interpret it for you. Let your questioning nature work for you, in this case as well ;)
Btw, thank you for your service, and also your strength. I lost a brother to suicide, and I had to make a similar promise to myself, that I wouldn't put my father through that pain again. At times it was all I had, so I know part of what you feel. But hang in there, and get out and meet as many like-minded people as you can. It can get better, and it does. God bless and protect you, friend.
I've actually read the bible a few times. Christians have provided immense help. However, faith doesn't work for me.
Accepting things blindly is what's wrong with everything. Look at the left. I'm not bashing you, I'm just saying that facts matter. If you can't prove it, it's personal and should stay such.... Unfortunately.... we're bending over backwards to accept the left's subjective feelings as reality.
I get where you're coming from, but I don't think my faith is blind. I've read the whole Bible extensively, even as far as to look into the Hebrew and Greek. The laws and history make logical, rational sense to me, and the parts I don't understand are either obscure references to old prophecies, or perhaps haven't yet come to pass. I've also experienced miracles, and know of friends and family who have too. There's also near-death accounts, and idk if this would even help you at all, but Mark Taylor prophesied Trump's election before he even ran. I suppose you do have to at least believe that the Bible IS historical record, and that the events in it occurred, even the miraculous ones, even the fact that prophecies written in the Old Testament came to pass in the New. But I also see God's hand in the way that the earth itself functions, in every strand of coded DNA. Do you believe in evolution? Because that is a huge leap of faith in itself.
I also think that it's one of the best handbooks for morality you could ever find. Simply to want to follow its guidelines would show enough belief. This notion of having to "believe in belief itself" before you can know God is making it into some miracle you must perform without help, obscuring the reality of how easy it is to actually trust in a higher power. It's NOT on the same level of believing in the tooth fairy, God exists whether you believe He does or not. You either trust in His commandments and Jesus's words and have faith enough to follow their command, or you don't.
For unbelievers to put the burden of proof on the believer, is merely shifting the responsibility from themselves. You either find enough faith to follow His code for living a good life, or you have enough faith in the middle of some dark night to ask Him directly to open your heart to it.... Or you don't. It's not on me to prove the ever-living God exists. He just does, with or without your faith.
The Bible says to do some pretty fucked up shit tho...
You sure you're not using it as a mirror?
I'm not religious and can't do the faith thing, it just doesn't work with my brain.... However, I've been seriously considering going to a church for the community.
I moved from my family and friend for a better life, a life at all, but the distance from my family has made it harder... and having the world be stupid has made it nearly impossible to make new friends if you don't buy into the "outrage of the week"
It's honestly to the point where I'm afraid I'm gonna lose control and just punch someone for being stupid. After 12 years of watching the cycle and trying to point it out, I see little option outside of beating the stupid out of someone.
Maybe I should join an MMA gym.
I can assure you, I will NOT KILL MYSELF (or others)
The issue is that I'm aware enough of this and seem to be too articulate with my therapist for them to believe I'm suffering like I do.
Pm me brother, I got out in 92 and over 10 years became the last member of my squad left had my last brother call me as he ended his life as he didn’t want to be alone but knew I couldn’t get to him. It took 5 years to get disability 10 years later an dr casually asked if I knew I was diagnosed with ptsd, combative aggressive disorder and night terrors found during a sleep study. By 6 Drs you will feel lonely but you are not we are here more than you know. This place helps my sanity and sometimes I reach out over nothing more than a comment and end up in a private conversation. You will find a home here you will find friends here and people here will help you find the help you need.
Get your ass to a VFW, American Legion Post, contact DAV. NRA has veteran groups, Militias have heads in the game, Gun clubs, shooting ranges loaded with brothers. Remember and honor the past, but the past is not your future!
LIVE for your brightest days ahead.
The DAV was recently made my VA contact for my claims.
I was previously rated 40% and the DAV is helping me increase that claim right now.
By all I can find on 38 CFR I can easily get 100% rated.... which is great but doesn't help the problem. It only lets me take my boondocking rig and hide from the world.
I only get catharsis and clarity when I drink. I don't want that anymore. I don't want to be drugged.
Stay Alert, Stay Alive.
Alert, Alive, and ready/able to bug out.
I'm well supplemented
See my reply. Understand the many options.... get some protein, some sleep, and take a stroll outside in the morning.
Get to it sailor. You have a life to reengage.
Diet = within spec
Sleep = I wish. I do my best. Sleep hygiene has been an issue since the boat.
Outside? = that's all I have. It's just me and the dog... and some fish. And last week at the astronomy park, lots of deer.
Donald Trump gave up alcohol and became the most successful and powerful man in the world. He remembers everything those pieces of shit said at every party he went to over the decades, and they hate him for it.
Be like The Donald and become clean. You don't need that shit. Replace it with pure water. Feels good man!
Winston Churchill said, when you're going through hell...KEEP GOING.
I don't drink much. At this point, it's a necessity. Catharsis can only happen with a few beers. Without it..... I feel the need to punch people.
I used to get my catharsis from work performance. Working for Honda, where EVERY FUCKING OBJECTIVE MEASURE OF PERFORMANCE show's I do better than my peers (I am so happy I finally quit that shit hole... DO NOT DRIVE A HONDA/ACURA) , has shown that the world doesn't give a shit about performance. You gotta play the social games.
Do 75% of the PMs on straight time instead of OT for 14 months, with documentation to prove it?
You're a LAZY FUCK BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SHOW FACE ON OT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T PLAY THE STUPID GAMES!!
I make my own mead and enjoy drinking microbrews so I'll never quit drinking, but realizing it's necessary to get that release has me limiting to once per week drinking.
I'm always the best me I can be and striving to be better.. but everything in the world isn't about being the best you can be. It's about being the proper social creature.
I have an appointment with my script writing doctor. There is a long paper trail of me hating most of the meds because they don't make things better.
I don't want to be drugged, however I recognize it can be necessary.
There is a lengthy paper trail showing how the meds don't help me.
It all seems to be a balancing act and it always ends up balancing in a way that leaves me miserable.
I swear, if the civilian world wasn't full of such shit people with such shit standards it would all be different.
Did you know that manufacturers hold their employees to lesser standards than the unfortunate folks, and addicts, that cook your food when you go out are held to?
Meds help around 1/3 of people, do nothing for 1/3, and make 1/3 worse. It's not your imagination. It depends on how your brain metabolizes the meds. There's a specific test that determines that. It should be done before the meds are prescribed, but it rarely is. I need to find that test info again. Let me know if you want it.
I'm not a veteran but I've been dealing with chronic and recurring ptsd since I was a kid. I understand the struggle searching for what will help with these issues. I understand only sticking around because you've given yourself no other option. It will get better.
Can you spend more time with your skydiving buds?
There's a cbd company run by a vet with a passion for helping people meds aren't working for. Easy Day Hemp.
Too bad you can't meet with local pedes.
I was in the 1/3 worse initially.
Before my discharge, I was put on SSRIs.
I was sitting at home watching TV and my heart rate started increasing. After it hit 180 I drove to Tripler hospital. I was put on EKG and had a nurse with crash cart and got a bunch of shots of attivan in my ass.
My psych? He told me "That happens sometimes, let's try something else"
I definitely get a benefit from CBD but THC is in the equation too, it changes over time what I need... when I can control it I have minimal issues. If I can do my own cocktail, I can generally manage the symptoms without issue. I just don't want to get my medicinal card because I can't have weapons if I do.
I'm actually in a position to possibly be with the skydiving folks full time within a year or so. I'm striving for that. The only thing that makes me feel like I'm alive anymore is skydiving. Everything else.... it's like I'm being drugged by the doc's.... nothing. everything is nothing.
Wow that sounds like a great plan for you. I hope you can keep it in your sights every day. You know there is a way to make your life better. You have that power, to set that path for yourself. You may not feel like praying, but I (and other pedes) will pray for you.
I found where I read the info about the brain chemistry test. Nutrient Power: Heal Your Biochemistry and Heal Your Brain by William Walsh PhD
Edit: Have you heard of EMDR therapy? It is so much more effective than talking therapy, there is no comparison. You can spend years talking and not see the results you can feel in 3 sessions of emdr.
I started waking up in 2010.
By 2013 I was alone, I was working on my plan.
Thanks to Trump and manufacturer confidence in him, I was able to get out of poverty.
I was a nuclear engineer 2002 to 2008. I was a fucking cook and retail manager until 2013. Now, I'm working with top of the line technology and am in high demand. I've turned down 2 jobs from Tesla and other great companies.
I KNOW I CAN MAKE MY PLAN HAPPEN. But is my plan even worth it if the whole world is going to shit?
It breaks my heart to read this. I don't know what to tell you other than that you are not alone in this new, strange fight.
As someone who never enlisted, all I can say is thank you for serving for me and my family. We're strangers who may never meet, but you have my gratitude.
May God bless you and your loved ones, and grant rest to those you have lost.
Thank you.
My family has a history of serving, it's bred into me.
It's cliche to say people were born too late but my Pap was korean war veteran and I grew up around him and his friends (all Korea/Vietnam vets) and I really think that was the end up men being men.
Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.----> We're in the hard times.
I see people waking up but they're still giving into the mob.
My video games were ruined.
The live music scene was ruined.
The brewery scene was ruined.
Women were ruined.
I have nothing left, thanks to these people. Nothing by my promise.
Giving into the mob is another great way of phrasing what’s happening. Someone posted a zero hedge article here yesterday. It titled something like “when will the madness end”.
It quoted a book by Charles McKay, I think. The quote is “Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one.”
I hope you find some reassurance that there are some steadfast non herd mentality people among you here on this site. We are out in the public places, but I admit, the herd is big and may block our ability to find one another!
You have what it takes, just by virtue of acknowledging and rebuking the madness. Stay strong in your commitment to your promise. Look for those one, by one, people who will come to their senses. Hang in there and a BIG thank you for your service. I’m sure my life hasn’t had your challenges, but I assure you I’m 100% understanding of your feelings in present day. I could have written the same post with the exact same dismay and frustration.
Thank you.
I'm not gonna hurt myself. I promised my fallen brothers, at their funerals, that I would live my life to the best I could because they couldn't.
Gotu Kola? Not familiar with that. I have supplements that I've used, and I generally smoke weed to help (I quit my job because they went woke and start with a new company in 3 weeks where I gotta piss clean) but professional life limits my ability there.
I swear, if I could just have competition and quit having EVERY FUCKING ASPECT OF FUCKING EVERYTHING NOT INFESTED WITH WOKE SHIT/MSM PROGRAMMING I'd be fine.
I can't even skydive without seeing it, and my DZ is super fucking red pilled.
Weed words for me. It provides more benefit than detriment. Everything else, it's a long deliberation on "cost vs benefit"
I'll definitely look into that though.
You do not have to fight every battle. Remind yourself of this, and fight the ones that you win and that matter.
There's so little I can fight at this point.
I quit my job, letting them know why. (they already felt the pain and worked on restructuring)
I don't have my outlets anymore.
I'm not violent but I'm on the verge of responding with a fist when someone says something wrong. I don't like being that way.
I don't have control of my mind anymore. I've always been smart and articulate, I'm worn down. I don't have that. I can't even fucking have my job to lose myself to because of this shit.
Start small, and do not forget who you are. Sounds like lame bullshit, but get a hobby that is cheap to maintain (wood carving/whittling). And lean on your fellow vets. Shit, go to the VFW.
God Bless man. we are here with you frend
I appreciate it.
This is the only place I see sanity anymore.
Stay strong for your team mates!
I'm losing endurance at this point.
People are waking up and I'm expected to give in to the weak, because the struggle I've battled with for 12 years is somehow less than what CNN and Facebook has these people thinking this week.
We are going to win.
"the entire world that is just giving in" is a small percent that is noisy (some in positions of power), and that are not filtered out by the algorithms of big tech.
That is it.
Think of it this way: everyone not saying stupid things online are generally pretty good people.
The thing is, I've been banned from social media since 2016.
I'm not programmed by the algorithms... I'm aware of them. And I'm in the smallest minority it seems.
Everyone consumes, I question. I brings nothing but pain. Due to my disability from the time in the Navy, the programming has the whole world acting in a way that makes it infinitely worse.
I'm forced to wear a mask.. but I'm apparently the only person in the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD that remembers working in a kitchen, high school science, my military training, etc etc about proper use of PPE. I see people only being FUCKING FILTHY and I AM THE ASSHOLE AND HAVE TO COMPLY.
I've already had a sinus infection from this shit.
What are your favorite things you've done in the last few months?
Built my boondocking rig. I got a camper for my Tacoma, I'm set with it to go for as long as 10,000 liters of water (my current filter capacity) will last me.
The rest of it has been survival.... Struggling to keep myself going to my job before I quit, got a new better job.
Try looking pathetic, pointing at your nose and saying "I have a medical condition".
It works.
I do that. No matter who you are, the stigma and stares definitely wear down on you.
it's exhausting. On the good days, I can use heuristics to make people shut up.
On other days, I just wanna grab my smokes and drinks without being bothered.
I can’t begin to imagine what you went through during your service or losing your friends. Please know though you’re not alone in your beliefs or feelings of absolute frustration with the brainwashed masses. It is agonizing to watch everything be infested with this leftist BS and not being able to escape it. I am so grateful for this place because it shows us we are not alone. I promise you that there are people nearby who feel the same way you do. Sending you strength and love, pede 🙏🏻🇺🇸
Thank you
although our situations are vastly different, i have experienced many of the same feelings you have. depression, anxiety, loneliness, confusion, hopelessness, fear, suicidal thoughts, you name it. it's the dark night of our souls, my brother. the question is how do we power through it?
i am not a soldier but the dark nights of my soul has always been a feeling of not ever truly fitting in within this existence. i'm not talking some new agey bullshit, star child shit either. because all that's BUNK. i'm talking about fighting that URGE within me to return 'home.' because i know this place is not.
i took meds when i was younger (didn't work), saw therapists (didn't work). the only home i have found is that of working on my soul. my spirituality, my faith. the world we live is designed to keep us down. it's DESIGNED that way purposefully. it is a SOUL crushing, materialistic world.. as i can see you've already noticed, just by the fact that you witness (as many of us have) how everyone just forgets what happened five minutes ago.
unfortunately i cannot tell you nor give you at ezpz method because we are all souls going about our own paths. what if, however, i was to tell you that every single person on this planet made a conscious CHOICE to incarnate here? what if i put it into perspective that this life/planet/existence is nothing but one big SCHOOL? what if we are meant to experience this because we CHOSE it before we were even born? probably think i'm a fucking crazy idiot, right? but what if.. what if it was the case?
i'd be honored if you have read this far so i will throw this out there as well. at the end of the day all it boils down to is our thoughts. we are incredible creatures with the power to shape our reality.
let's break it down. before making any choice, having any experience, witnessing any reality, a thought must first be formed. put it this way. our THOUGHTS lead to our CHOICE. our choices lead to our EXPERIENCES. our experiences then shape our REALITY. think for a moment now brother.
okay, now ponder this. what if we take all those negative thoughts formed through depression, anxiety, FEAR, loneliness, blah blah blah and turn them around? what if we can begin to DEPROGRAM our thought patterns into ones that make us start feeling WHOLE again, rather than a fractured individual? think about it.
how do you do this though? wish i had an answer bro but i don't because we are all on different paths. despite this fact that, we must all begin the WORK on ourselves, we must shift our focus onto the 'little things in life...' afterall, isn't that what it is all about? personally, a couple of my little things are cooking/grilling and hand rolling my own smokes, practicing proper breathing techniques (think brice lee!), and driving. some garden, hike, exercise, whatever.. it doesn't matter. what matters is how it makes YOU feel and i HIGHLY suggest doing all these things with the tv off, phone off, and any other NOISE because i know we can both agree the world is already full of that shit already. although, feel free to put on your favorite music! just turn off the fucking NEWS!
i could keep going but i'm a few drinks deep and don't want to ramble too much. i do wish you the best brother and if you have any questions, do not hesitate to message me. i am an open book. just remember, it takes WORK to overcome but being a soldier, i know you know how to overcome. afterall, you would not have made it this far in your life if you didn't. we are all here for a reason my brother and the fact is, if we are still here, it is meant to be and we still have plenty of work ahead of us. sometimes you have to take a moment for yourself, sit back, and just watch this crazy fucking show unfold. we are in for VERY interesting times and i have a feeling you're here to watch them unfold as well.
anyways, much love and respect brother. goodnight.
I am so with you on this.
When I was in the Navy, I was told by my Psych that the point of the meds is to made therapy successful... but therapy is just talking.
It all could work, but there is no accountability. And I think if there was any accountability in the civilian world I wouldn't be posting such things because I could manage myself if I didn't have to deal with the absolute absurdity of how low the standards are across the board.
i know bud, i know. the truth is.. the fact you even reached out here is therapy in and of itself! in fact, i bet you feel way more comfortable here amongst family than some cookie cutter psych office. no doubt about it.
unfortunately, i do agree about accountability but let's be honest. if the world is designed to be so fucking lame, can we really think the regular sheeps will be able to be accountable for themselves? they don't know shit about themselves so they continue a cycle of victimhood. they care more for creating false identities, care more for material possessions, care more about social media, care more about everything but themselves! the programming is ALREADY complete for them so to waste any more of OUR energy on them is only furthering their cause!
it's the result of the way that those in power have designed this world to be! and many have fallen hook, line, and sinker brother. unfortunate but true. the fact you are even aware of this is proof you have the power on a soul level to SMASH through the PROGRAMMING hammered into ALL of us our WHOLE lives. you've begun your deprogramming, it's just a matter of focusing and grounding yourself bud.
be proud you will not allow your FREE WILL to be infringed upon because the NPC's have already given up theirs. stay true blue brother. at the end of the day, no matter whether it is the outcome we wanted, all will work out and we are all going to be where we need to be. you, me, fellow patriots, and even the loser NPC fucks. never forget and never surrender that sweet, sweet free will.
I actually feel a lot better thanks to the comments and private messages I've received. Yours included.
It's like the KGB defector said, it'll take at least 1 generation to unfuck it. So.... let's start unfucking it?
Ignorance is bliss.... But the pain of reality is the power.
i'm with you brother. big daddy trump is helping our generation to do it too.
i'll take it a step further and tell you KNOWLEDGE PROTECTS, IGNORANCE KILLS.
always strive to grow, always strive to gain more knowledge. through knowledge we are protected and through knowledge we can weed out the DISINFORMATION. the sheep love ignorance and that's why they have fallen for the liberal programming and we haven't!
i'm glad you're feeling a bit better through all of our cohesive efforts. stay true blue and much love brother.
I've been so right over the last few years it makes me question my sanity.
I can see patterns. I look at data/facts first. Feeling are irrelevant.
I was originally a bernie supporter. I wrote a lengthy post on reddit about how BERNIE AND TRUMP HAD THE SAME ISSUES THEY WERE CAMPAIGNING FOR (until bernie got the black eye)
Which is when I went full trump.
Facts > feelings. Actions > words.
Like with Tim Pool. He keeps trying to say he doesn't like trump's character but like's his policies. Tim, bro, who give's a flying fuck about someone's behavior if their actions are for the better?
i fell for the liberal programming through my early years as well bud. i felt the same about bernie but recognized he was nothing but another sellout. i took the red pill and never looked back.
all that matters is that we have come to see the truth and the hypocrisy in the lies being fed to the masses.
i will always trust a crass man who follows through with action than a polite man who falls to inaction. you're exactly right, actions over words. and that's a life lesson too.
you are not going insane, you are GROWING. the reality we've been fed is breaking apart and MORE people are beginning to see this. those who are not seeing the lies are imho, a lost cause. those in control are LOSING control and frantically scrambling to remain in control (think covid, race bullshit).
again, you are not going insane and are in fact, more sane than MANY others. you, me, all of us together are GROWING and breaking free! i felt like i was going insane as the TRUE reality unfolded before my eyes but that too shall pass and the light will be shown before you. trust the process and allow yourself to experience these dark nights because again, the light WILL come through. til the end brother.
I was feeling this way. I love this place so much BUUUT from the advice of my priest I started to do “phone fasting” and started designating 2-3 days a week of no TD.W and no news and no social media. Just calling family and friends and watching good movies or reading good books. It was insanely hard to do, but it was exactly what I needed to regain my footing and my calm. Please try it. It’s worth it.
Reading through your replies here, I see a common thread: lack of community. Know that you're not alone in this, at all. It's gotten pretty common, especially among men in your age group. I could recommend all sorts of hobbies and other activities to take your mind off it, but the hard truth is that filling time with activities that are only satisfying on the surface, is good for at best a brief respite. I know from experience.
I've a couple thoughts to offer, but before I say anything understand that I'm not kidding when I say lack of community is pretty common. I share this journey with you, many men today do. Ironically, that means you do have a community, even if it's not the one you want.
Hedonism is the enemy. It can seem attractive, and offers a quick way to fill your time, but at the end of the day you're after something bigger and more fulfilling than just dribbling your life away a day at a time with 'fun'. So, you need to seek out community that offers something deeper than a hookup, or the rush of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. Get ye to Church. Don't believe? Last time I checked, they aren't doing purity tests at the door. Again, I'm struggling with this same thing, right now, in my own life. Not easy. We've got to do it. It's bad option vs. Not An Option. And don't let anyone make you feel like you don't belong, because you do. That's not up to them, it's up to God, and God loves non-believers, as any decent pastor will tell you.
You mentioned that you smoke. I'm not a clinician, but I can tell you this: many, many times in my life I've had friends that smoked who hit a patch of depression, and it was never a good combo. If you have someone in your life that is familiar with your weed habit, someone you can be mutually honest with, ask them if smoking is a problem for you right now. Tough medicine, but brother I'm telling you, this is not a judgment you can make for yourself right now. People who are chronic smokers sometimes have their relationship with weed change over the years. Just because it was a healthy habit, doesn't meant it stays that way forever.
They have been striving to destroy community for a long time. I've noticed it for 10 years, it's a trend.
I agree with the hobbies. I have a few that help fill the time but the competition is what I need. I need to debate and compete. I can't do that now. That's been destroyed since I was on the left.
I smoke to get the desired results of the my doctors. Their meds doing a million times more harm than good. Smoking some weed? (if you understand the different strands/effects of CBD/THC) It can be helpful. It's better for me than all they prescribe. I just won't get the medical card because I prefer to stay armed.
Crutches aren't bad, until you rely on them. That goes for all in life. My brother's baby mama has been on suboxone for over a year now. That's a hell of a proof the meds they give aren't any better if not being used correctly.
I mentioned before, I'm all about recognizing patterns and data. I know people that have been properly taken off of pills/heroin via suboxone but I know far more people that have died from OD or are on it permanently than the other.
I don't know much of anything technical about weed, all I know is from 2nd hand observation. I've seen guys who lead a fully functional life with it get deep into a pit of despair, and they took the express route. All of them required medical intervention to get out of it, and each agreed later that weed was a compounding factor. Didn't cause the depression, just made it impossible to escape without becoming a medical crisis.
Maybe you're different. Like I said, I'm no expert, can't even say I know what it's like to smoke, since the couple times I did it as a kid I was so hammered I didn't feel anything. I just know that self-evaluating your self-medicating habit as normal and non-problematic is a rationalization as old as time. Me, I'm a drinker. Not heavy, and not often, but I do drink. If someone, anyone at all who knew me well enough to have an opinion, came to me and said "I think you have a drinking problem", I'd be going somewhere to have that shit evaluated ricky tick. Not because I agree, but because I know how insidiously substance use can turn into substance abuse.
The problem with weed is that the effects from abuse are much more subtle and slow than you'd see with other drugs.
Benzos, which are prescribed for anxiety, have the same effect on the brain as alcohol.
It's all about behavior. Don't compartmentalize, learn the chemistry.
I'm not bashing your nor disagreeing.
Didn't think you were. All I can do is share my experiences, up to you to decide if they're relevant to your situation. As a non-smoker, doing a deep dive into the brain chemistry of marijuana use is going to be pretty low on my priority list. Just being real. Not because it's not interesting, but for me it'd be more of a pure academic exercise, education just for the sake of it, and if I'm going to do that I'd probably read more about how the Finns kicked Ruskie ass in the Winter War, or something else involving communists dying. Maybe that's just more hedonism, though, since it makes me feel good and is otherwise pointless.
Our modern world does not make meaningful interactions easy to find. You have to both actively search for it, and block out the endless distractions that seek to lead you astray. That last part is the real bitch.
There are a lot of folks who smoke weed to a point that if drinking or other drug use were the same, would be a huge problem. Because weed is so benign... they just give the rest of us a stigma.
It's hard to find meaningful interactions these days. I realized it before I woke up.
In high school, I'd skip and go on campus to the local univeristy and make friends.
When I came home from the navy in 2008, everyone was already on their phones a lot. They were less friendly.
It was another 5 years until it became clear why.
Internet and Smart Phones, two biggest socially disruptive forces in human history, one right after the other. They tag teamed the shit out of our culture, and we were not ready.
Back in the early 2000s I was constantly ranting to people about how dangerous Facebook was, how for the first time in all of human history, we were allowing a for-profit corporation to insert itself as an additional layer between peoples personal relationships.
"But my friends are on Facebook."
This baseball bat swinging straight for our collective noggin was easy to see coming, but the average person couldn't avoid it. Because they'd already been deprived of community by that point, and were desperate for something to replace it with.
Like you said, this crap has been a long time in the making. If you've never seen the famous Yuri Bezmenov interview, it might be worth a watch.
Facebook was fine when it was social media.
It became a problem when it became social conditioning.... and too many pedes are ok with it all while they still get their doritos and mtn dew... we can just complain online! It'll totally save my job today to be taken in a few months!
Hey man, Many of us here feel similar to how you feel. We see what is going on in the news and media and it makes us angry that people are attacking the American way of life that has given them so much. Especially when our freedoms come at the cost of the brave men and women who paid with their health, and their lives for us. It is good that you are here in a community of American patriots who want to protect what we have and see through the bullshit. Just reading through some of the comments you can see there is a lot of support in this community so don't hesitate to reach out to any of us. We are here because we want to be around more people who get it and support each other. Have faith that we are doing what we can to turn things around for the better and that we can get there. If you ever need someone to talk to, would be happy to. All the best fellow pede.
I feel you, bro! Honestly thinking (lightly) about an-heroing every day nowadays, but I will NEVER give in to that impulse, for I am not a loser. Plus, places like this give me a lot of hope.
Suicide is up 12x due to lockdown.
12x with the rest being listed as covid
Hey thank you for your service and please know that you are not alone. I have suffered from anxiety issues and this year has been horrible for anxiety with everything going on BUT think about how many people who think like you and agree with you are out there. I know that because there is an extremely loud 5-10% it seems like we are alone but we aren’t!!! Look at how quickly this community grew! Remember in 2016? The surprise of knowing how many people felt like you did? It’s still out there!
I remember 2016.
The problem is, I see the magnitude of difference in the commies but not the same magnitude in the regular people.
I've commented before, and I'll reiterate here, How many lives need to be ruined or ended before you do something about it?
Look into ww2. The US was totally cool with letting my great grandparents die, even supporting it, for a LONG FUCKING TIME before they took action.
We can prevent deaths... but nobody wants to make the small sacrifice.
I understand your feelings. The news and the internet and social media makes money by amplifying everything so much. Plus they love to amplify it even more if it’s negative to trump. But realize this is how they make money and it’s not indicative of the average American.
It's indicative of the world we're living in.
I've worked in nuclear reactors and ktichens... plus I was a first responder.
People are NOW REQUIRED TO USE PPE IN A WRONG WAY. That is more dangerous.
The average person now sees headlines and takes it as fact. No question. No though. It just is.
You're an outcast if you don't follow them. I've watched this spiral, and called it out, for a decade.
If you can wake up and be aware so can others. I’ve never felt more patriotic in my life. I’ve never been more “awake” in my life to what the communists are up to. You are not alone in your anxiety and observations. But we must not give into the evil.
I'm patriotic as fuck. The issue is that anyone else that is single and likes going out for fun is not. The other patriots I meet have families and a million other obligations.
I'm patriotic as fuck. The issue is that anyone else that is single and likes going out for fun is not. The other patriots I meet have families and a million other obligations.
Much love from afar Patriot
I hope we can keep stepping up the fight for vets vs illegal immigrants.
If it was up to me, every dollar siphoned to illegals would make their way to vet programs and others protecting us.
You’re in my Prayers
Much appreciated.
You can do vet's right by standing up to stupid. When a feels > reals policy happens at work? Speak up. Otherwise, accept you're pushing us to suicide.
Absolutely. I am no longer standing by. I’ve been kicked off Reddit for saying it’s “not ok to loot businesses & neighborhoods just because they’re white. And news flash: they’re not all white”. So I’m expanding and mobilizing efforts as that pissed me off to no end!!
Thank you for your service! Keep up the good fight.
My Dad served 23 years Air Force, and I will be forever indebted and grateful to all that serve.
Stay strong Patriot! We have your back.
If you're spiritual, continue to pray. If you're not, pretend there is someone listening and start praying. I know this sounds corny and cliche, but i suffer from some unneeded suffering that I was born with and prayer is the only thing that seems to help. Stopped taking the meds, stopped going to therapy, and then I started to build my faith. Im not saying its an overnight cure, but slowly over time i have noticed changes.Slowly. Wake up everyday grateful (even if you have to force the words out of your mouth 'cause your life seems hopeless). Thank God for creation, especially your creation. We all serve a purpose, even if its something small and trivial.
You're important man and I hope you know that there are a lot of people who may not have experienced exactly what you have experienced, but they know what hopelessness feels like. You're in my prayers, God bless
Edit: just saw your last post before this one and I completely agree with you. We need to start organizing locally, on the ground, get numbers and develop huge protests. Maybe you can start the first chapter of this where you live? put all your energy into starting a home-grown patriot party. IDK just spitballing, but yeah man, be well
I'm not but I "pray" to my lost friends all the time.
I understand how prayer can help. I wish I could have faith, but I'm pretty autistic. Facts and proof drive me.
I'm grateful I'm still alive, but it's getting to where I question my promise to live for my brothers. I'm not going to kill myself, I won't go down without a fight... but it feels like I"m the only one awake and fighting.
read my edit to my first comment
also, I would demand proof from above. It worked for me. I demanded proof of the existence of God and I was shown proof. i must sound crazy, but i couldn't begin to explain the "reasonable" answer for what I have witnessed.
If anything, chanting words aloud that are positive/grateful has an impact on your brain. This is known to science. I think the more bizarre claim would be that the space/energy outside of yourself reacts to those words as well.
Anyways, just give it a try, i dare you. Demand proof and expect to be shown proof. Thats the secret. You have to expect the proof to be shown.
Be well man
Facts and proof. Roger that. It is there. You are not alone. Keep it together as we will need real men for the fight ahead.
As to finding a mate, I get it completely. She is out there. God answered my prayer for mine.
Pray for your eyes to be opened and read or listen to Romans in The Bible. I will be praying for you, brother, Pederrr. You are NOT alone and there are freaking legions of NPC out their flapping their gums - but you are not alone!
I'm looking and my neighbor actually brought up the "fall of cabal"
Which is pretty awesome, considering she's about my age and she's a pharmacist.
I'm just not in the right mindset to be my best to someone else right now. I cant ask someone to bear my burden if I can't carry my own.
They're there. They're just few and far between... and at 34... those left single are single mothers who are progressive.
A helpmate is there to share your burdens - as you share hers. Dont wait until you're "fixed" - cause we are all broken. However, I get not being ready for a committed relationship. You are the expert there. Just know a good woman doesn't need perfection. She just needs a man to lead and to cherish her.
Faith isn’t something you just have. You have to pursue it. Sounds weird, but pursue it, and you’ll find it. I will definitely keep you in my prayers. I’ve had PTSD and anxiety (from different reasons), and I overcame it with prayer, deep breathing, and keeping very busy.
Pederrr,
The struggle doesn't end until ad 2083
Adjust your sights.
You are being bombarded (attacked!!) with hopelessness and negativity from every angle of media. I feel it too sometimes. I have one good friend who will soapbox with me about all of this - pretty much my only real friend.
I knew a marine who took his own life, leaving behind a wife a four kids. I know a special forces guy who is both physically and emotionally damaged from his time. My husband was in the navy ten years and has some issues, but thankfully not too many.
The stigma associated with mental and emotional healthcare needs to be broken down. I am sorry for your struggles, and I pray for your heart, mind, and body to be strong.
What helps me when I feel low is to be of service, even if it's just cooking a meal for someone. There are some lonely folks in nursing homes who might have their own stories to share and just want to talk. Maybe you have a neighbor who can't get around to mowing the grass. Send someone a letter - yay! Something that's not a bill or junk! Pay for the person behind you at a drive-through.
That stuff does help. I donate quite a bit of my money to various animal rescues because it makes me feel better. Dogs and cats are better people than most people.
I'm so happy to see people who have similar views as me. I think the actual policies we're seeing (mask mandates, not allowed to socialize etc) are starting to take control over the good I try to do?
I can't tell you how many times prior friends have griefed me over something only to realize I donate more time/money to charity than they make. Not to mention I'm O NEG blood type, my blood is in high demand and I'm stupid enough to accept passing out on the table monthly to donate that shit.
That's awesome! I'm glad you have some good outlets and charities. Way to go on the blood donation too. Maybe if the lockdowns don't prevent it (not sure how libtarded your leadership is), you could walk some dogs at the local shelter. They would certainly like the attention. I agree that animals are better people in a lot of ways. I have a dog and a cat, and they can help me get out of my own head sometimes. I hope you get some encouragement. Reaching out is awesome, and this community of strangers is a big help.
My retirement plan is to be a shelter myself for animals. I want to take in the dog's that'll get put down otherwise.
I joke that'll I'll be wearing a loin cloth with a long beard, weilding a staff, and surrounding by ugly old dogs
I love it! I'm such a bleeding heart I could totally do that. One dog with a crooked jaw and missing eye. Another with three legs. One with brain damage that can't walk stright. Another super old and rickety. Another patchy and ratty. I would love on them all.
Exactly.
My dad was a K-9 Unit. We always had at least 1 dog on hand.
After I got out of the Navy, I watched by buddy's cat while he got locked up.
I fell in love with rescuing.
Got robbed one night while asleep, decided I needed a dog.... so I went to the shelter. and fell in love with my current dog. He was gonna get put down. He was only a year old!
He's been the best thing to happen to me. I think folks can learn a lot from animals. They live in the moment. The smell of something can get them excited and loving the moment they're living in.
I love my Buddy. He's the best thing that's happened to me since I got out of the Navy. He's been there through think and thin, and is currently living large on the couch with a 3ft bone and 2 rope toys.
$30 and he's happy? I want to give that to other dogs in their last years. Fuck people, I love the animals.
That's awesome. Spoil the heck out of him. I like looking at the stuff on Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary sometimes. It makes me happy that folks care about them in those end times. Pets are for life. Makes me sick when folks give them up.
It makes me wonder about his previous life.
I got him at about 1 year old in 2013.
He knew all the basic commands. The few times he ran off? He found kids to play with.
I feel bad for the dogs. My neighbor has 3. She's got RBF like crazy and they go nuts constantly. When I run into them? They're perfect gentle-dogs. She's a nurse it seems.... and dealing with being in her late 30's without kids.
Treat your dogs right. Not as an accessory.
I wouldn't normally say this but MDMA is a life saver when used in a professional manner.
I've spent my time with molly recreationally and professionally.
I"m a firm believer that our mental health issues are born from the world we're in, not from within.
I've also gone down the DMT hole but salvia really cemented it in.
First off, thanks for your service! :)
Now click this.
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=Trump+rally+crowd&t=brave&ia=images&iax=images
That is a tiny fraction of the people on your team.
Remember, you are living in a 24/7 libtard psy-op. All of it is just NOISE. Let it go. Laugh it off. Shrug it off. Drop it. Scrape it off. Give it to God. However YOU need to unload that stress- ditch it.
The Rona, Wu-Flu, Shanghai Shivers, is just a flu. Those Black Panthers pictured running around last week with guns were exposed as actors. Antifa are spoiled losers on drugs following agitators paid by Soros. The fake news stations are reading propaganda written by skinny weaklings in Chy-na. It's all monkeys banging on pots and pans. Turn it off.
Be good to yourself. Clear your head of all the noise. Keep us updated. Post LOTS.
https://media.thedonald.win/thedonald/post/JCIhrahL.jpeg
Allright, I just registered so I can reply to this. My grandfather died on tour 3 of bombing the Japanese. He was at Pearl, and I guess that really made him angry. I joined the Navy in ‘94 to see what it was all about. By ‘04, I was ready to go another way. I saw more than one guy fail hard. Friend, your mind is sapping your own strength. You need to get a grip, if I can help, just say how. Meds are a bad idea from everything I’ve seen first hand.
You are correct, the current situation vis a vis politics and the media is a total shitshow. I’ve told more than one lib that I defended this country from communism, and they keep voting for it. It is discouraging, but you need to separate your problems from the world’s problems and other people’s issues. None of that crap defines you, encompasses you, or really can touch you unless you let it. Change the channel, tell anyone arguing that crap to get bent. I tell people to go pack sand, and as a sailor you better know that one.
I had some lib call me salty one day, I said thanks because as a sailor that means experienced. When some millenial calls me Boomer, I tell them that’s my dad and he rocked Woodstock. I rocked Lollapalooza. Your generation did the Fire festival and had to have your asses saved by the Coast Guard.
Always choose and vote for freedom.
If you hate church, keep going until you find the right one. You will. Read the Tao if Christianity is not your thing. Meditate, commune with nature, work on a martial art, ride a bike, go for a hike, keep skydiving (I won’t), but most of all find something away from all the BS.
You want a woman? Seriously fix your own problems first. Why? Confidence is the sexiest thing to women. Once you have your confidence, say Hello to them, and nature has your back.
I’m shorter, not that handsome, but never had issues with women. My secret: be brave enough to say hello and smile.
I lost my good energy sector job because of Covid and I don’t kiss butts. I’m cool with that. Things don’t always go your way. You adapt, make contingency plans, keep your head yours, and work it out. Solve the problem sailor, your mom ain’t on this deployment known as your life, you are!
Pede: I'm 55 years old and I've suffered from PTSD my entire life. I can't even begin to tell you this shit I've gone through. The only thing that really worked for me was ayahuasca. I did it in Peru about eight times and it changed me as a human being. I attribute that with a transformation from a liberal to a conservative. I feel closer to a normal human being than ever before. When I came back from Peru, I changed jobs. Finally realized I had for 15 years I was putting myself through hell. Started standing up for myself for the first time in my life. I know that in America, Ayahuasca has a different legal status. Technically it is legal there and there is a church of ayahuasca.
When I was in Peru, there was Vet, but he and I never spoke. I know that he was going through hell because he tossed and turned back and forth all night through the ceremony. During the day, you would think he'd just been hanging out at some tropical resort from his behaviour, but at night in the ceremony, his demons we're coming for him hard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp20cSQhbXY
I've actually been in contact with "The Persistance" Scot pressler about trying to make a difference. I wish I could do what he does
Look into low dose Kratom. The cucked FDA absolutely hates it because it works. Stuff is amazing.
Order online; retail and stuff you'll find in smoke shops is always overpriced and under dosed.
I’m sorry for your loss of friends. National Veteran Suicide Help line (800) 273-8255. If you know anyone who may need help.
Hey brother---I appreciate your post. That takes strength and courage.
My dad was Army so I say sincerely to you... thanks for serving.
I don't know how many face-to-face groups are meeting up at this time, but I know a lot of them are hanging out virtually.
I have met some cool people on meetup.com
Whatever your hobbies are.... skydiving, shooting, or anything at all.... there are meetup groups in your area.
Keep doing what you are doing, which is saying out loud what you're feeling.
Even if you are just sad, pissed off, depressed.... you break the emotions' power once you get it out.
I see it like after a rattlesnake bite... suck out the poison and spit it out.
Spit out the poison, brother. Find things that bring you joy. There ARE people out there that will make you laugh and befriend you.
I wish you the best.
Find Joseph Prince on TV or his web site. He's different than any preacher I've heard in my 60 + years.