I got out of the Navy in 2008.
I started dealing with my friends killing themselves off before I got my honorable.
I had more than enough after I was discharged.
After losing friends while active, and after they got out to suicide I swore I would keep living to honor them and live the lives they couldn't.
It is getting more difficult everyday. I'm feeling PHYSICAL PAIN from the fact that I can see data and patterns while the entire world is just giving into feelings and forgetting what happened 5 minutes ago.
I'm in the works of getting my VA disability increased because of this and extra therapy sessions, but all I get is platitudes and "just go along with it, you need your job" kind of shit.
I am SOOOOOOOO fed up with it. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING FED UP WITH IT.
If I were not a man of my word, I would not be here right now. I am a man of my word and I will be here until the bitter end.
"the entire world that is just giving in" is a small percent that is noisy (some in positions of power), and that are not filtered out by the algorithms of big tech.
That is it.
Think of it this way: everyone not saying stupid things online are generally pretty good people.
The thing is, I've been banned from social media since 2016.
I'm not programmed by the algorithms... I'm aware of them. And I'm in the smallest minority it seems.
Everyone consumes, I question. I brings nothing but pain. Due to my disability from the time in the Navy, the programming has the whole world acting in a way that makes it infinitely worse.
I'm forced to wear a mask.. but I'm apparently the only person in the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD that remembers working in a kitchen, high school science, my military training, etc etc about proper use of PPE. I see people only being FUCKING FILTHY and I AM THE ASSHOLE AND HAVE TO COMPLY.
I've already had a sinus infection from this shit.
What are your favorite things you've done in the last few months?
Built my boondocking rig. I got a camper for my Tacoma, I'm set with it to go for as long as 10,000 liters of water (my current filter capacity) will last me.
The rest of it has been survival.... Struggling to keep myself going to my job before I quit, got a new better job.
Try looking pathetic, pointing at your nose and saying "I have a medical condition".
It works.
I do that. No matter who you are, the stigma and stares definitely wear down on you.
it's exhausting. On the good days, I can use heuristics to make people shut up.
On other days, I just wanna grab my smokes and drinks without being bothered.