I got out of the Navy in 2008.
I started dealing with my friends killing themselves off before I got my honorable.
I had more than enough after I was discharged.
After losing friends while active, and after they got out to suicide I swore I would keep living to honor them and live the lives they couldn't.
It is getting more difficult everyday. I'm feeling PHYSICAL PAIN from the fact that I can see data and patterns while the entire world is just giving into feelings and forgetting what happened 5 minutes ago.
I'm in the works of getting my VA disability increased because of this and extra therapy sessions, but all I get is platitudes and "just go along with it, you need your job" kind of shit.
I am SOOOOOOOO fed up with it. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING FED UP WITH IT.
If I were not a man of my word, I would not be here right now. I am a man of my word and I will be here until the bitter end.
I'm not gonna hurt myself. I promised my fallen brothers, at their funerals, that I would live my life to the best I could because they couldn't.
Gotu Kola? Not familiar with that. I have supplements that I've used, and I generally smoke weed to help (I quit my job because they went woke and start with a new company in 3 weeks where I gotta piss clean) but professional life limits my ability there.
I swear, if I could just have competition and quit having EVERY FUCKING ASPECT OF FUCKING EVERYTHING NOT INFESTED WITH WOKE SHIT/MSM PROGRAMMING I'd be fine.
I can't even skydive without seeing it, and my DZ is super fucking red pilled.
Weed words for me. It provides more benefit than detriment. Everything else, it's a long deliberation on "cost vs benefit"
I'll definitely look into that though.